


The Scale between Black and White

by listen_to



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bellatrix postmortem, Cursed Scar, Enemies to Friends, F/F, Femslash, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Luisa Castorius (OC), Pansmione - Freeform, Slow Burn, yes well there is a little bit of Hermione and Ron in the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 19:43:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 65,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6623722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/listen_to/pseuds/listen_to
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Except for the prologue this is set after DH, ignoring the epilogue. Slightly AU. In the aftermath of the battle of Hogwarts Hermione has to learn to distinguish between black, white and every shade of grey in between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The working title was Shades of Grey. Somehow I thought, that would be misleading...
> 
> Slightly AU means: I shamelessly mix some aspects from the books with some aspects from the films. And I tweak some of the books/film events in retrospect for the sake of this story.
> 
> This story has turned out to be darker than my previous stories. This is still femslash, and there will be fluff, but also a lot of drama and angst.
> 
> This is again a story that I have previously published on fanfiction.net.
> 
> To make the reading easier:  
> # - switch between Hermione's and Pansy's pov  
> ### - jump in time, change of scenery, sometimes combined with a switch of pov

"But he's there! Potter is there! Someone grab him!"

Pansy Parkinson's voice rang out into the silence that got a grip on every one in the Great Hall. Earlier in the evening, the whole body of students had been summoned there in their night dresses by their heads of houses. The students were scared and confused. Rumor had it that Potter tried to break an entry into the castle. That Snape was gone. And the Carrows? Professor McGonagall had taken charge and organized to evacuate Hogwarts. What was going on? Strangers whispered with the remaining professors. Some students claimed to have spotted Harry Potter roaming amongst them. And he was. He stood behind the Gryffindor table. Voldemort's disembodied voice had cut into the chaos and demanded to hand over Harry Potter until midnight. Everyone froze. Except Pansy Parkinson. A moment later she was faced with a wall of wands pointed directly at her and the rest of Slytherin House.

Hermione aimed at Parkinson, ready to stun the pure blood maniac at any false move. Their gaze met. Hermione saw how the other girl's hand flew to her mouth, how she opened her mouth as if to speak. Parkinson closed it again and only shook her head. If Hermione hadn't known better she would have sworn that Parkinson looked deflated, even apologetic.

Professor McGonagall ordered the whole of Slytherin House out of the Great Hall and from the school grounds under Filch's surveillance. Parkinson went with her house mates without any sign of resistance.

#

On her way out, Pansy turned her head to get a last glimpse of Hermione only to see that the girl's attention was focused on Weasley. The boy was whispering urgently into her ear.

###

A whole war had fit into this night. A quest for horcruxes and for the means to destroy them, too. Helga Huffelpuff's cup and a basilisk fang. Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem and fiendfyre. Harry and Voldemort. Nagini and Gryffindor's sword.

There was a promise. Hermione and Ron had kissed. She had to postpone to bask in that feeling.

There was death. Above all, there was death. Fred. Lupin. Tonks. Colin Creevey. So many others. And for some time, some gruesome span of time, Harry as well. But he was back again. So was the fighting.

Hermione, Ginny, and Luna faced Bellatrix Lestrange in the Great Hall. The first lady of the Death Eaters had singled Hermione out as her dueling partner, presumably to finish what she had started in Malfoy Manor. Ginny and Luna came to help Hermione at once. Around them other duels unfolded. Hermione was to preoccupied to register, who was going against whom. The three girls were hardly a match for the powerful dark witch. Lestrange had stunned Luna who was wheezing and coughing for air. Ginny barely avoided a Sectumsempra curse by jumping behind a passing statue. Hermione fired one jinx after the other. Lestrange blocked most of them. The ones that hit her only made her answer in kind and harder. Hermione managed to hold her position.

A stray curse caused an explosion near by. Stone chunks flew around. One hit Hermione from behind in the right knee. Her leg bend under the blow. Hermione overbalanced and fell to the floor. She lost the grip of her wand. Triumph flashed in Lestrange's eyes as she saw the Mudblood being defenseless in her presents once more. Their eyes looked. Hermione froze. Every sound reached her through a thick layer of cotton. Lestrange had a familiar, too familiar expression on her face, an expression that knelled torture. Hermione watched as the incantation formed on her nemesis' lips. The Cruciatus Curse ignited with a spark. A jet of red light erupted from the tip of the wand, shooting at Hermione. A shield charm build up from somewhere behind Hermione. It energized her hair as it encapsulated her. The curse and the shield met in the middle between the two duelists. The red light crashed into a sphere of blue energy and dissolved. Hermione turned around just to see Pansy Parkinson standing right behind her. Parkinson's wand pointed at Lestrange, emitting blue magical energy. It was the source of the shield charm. After a moment Hermione understood that Pansy was protecting her. The sound returned.

"The queer blood traitor is defending the Mudblood! How endearing." Lestrange said, cackling. Than she spat: "You made your decision. You know what to expect."

Pansy Parkinson? A blood traitor? Queer? What decision? Hermione was in shock, not even thinking about standing up again let alone retrieving her wand. She just stared at Pansy. Where did the other girl come from? All Slytherins and with them their first lady had been removed from the school grounds hours ago. Not for their safety. For the sake of the defense of Hogwarts. Nevertheless, there stood Pansy in the middle of the battle field. She did not take her eyes of Lestrange. She just kept the shield charm up, rage in her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Ginny used the distraction to attack the dark lady from the left. A fresh wound was bleeding on her arm. The Sectumsempra curse must have scratched her after all. Lestrange lazily countered Ginny's attack. Without effort, the older witch had the upper hand. Now Ginny was in trouble. Hermione shook of her stupor, griped her wand, and got to her feet to help her friend. Too late.

„NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

Mrs. Weasley jumped into action, ready to kill. Bellatrix Lestrange fell.

Voldemort was on his own. A prophecy was to be fulfilled.

Hermione looked around. Pansy was gone.


	2. Chapter 1 - The journey back to Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione returns to Hogwarts after the battle. She is surprised to see a certain Slytherin on the platform.

 

Platform 9 3/4 was crowded as always on the 1 September. Hermione nervously looked up and down the masses of students, siblings, and parents trying to spot her friends. She had not seen Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, or anyone else from Hogwarts since she had left England at the beginning of the summer. Her original plan had been to help to rebuild the school. McGonagall had organized to repair the castle with the help of the order members. Hermione, Ron, and Harry had volunteered. The new headmistress made it clear that she did not want to see the three of them back on the grounds before the beginning of the next school year. She insisted that they needed a break and take care of themselves as far away from the school grounds as possible.

So Hermione had decided to try to find her parents in Australia over the summer. She left for down under as soon as she could. She had found them after three weeks. When Mr and Mrs Granger regained their memories, they were not impressed with their daughter's methods but understood her motives. In the end her parents decided to stay in Australia. Hermione had spend the rest of the summer break with her mom and dad before she had to return to Hogwarts.

She had exchanged letters with Harry. He stayed at the Burrow with Ron and Ginny while trying to turn Grimmaould Place into a home of his own for the time after school. Hermione missed having him around after being so close to him for a year.

She also missed Ron more than she dared to admit. She just did not know where they stood. Hermione and Ron had kissed during the battle. Before she left to find her parents, she asked Ron to wait for her to come back home. He agreed. Their letters were awkward, containing the occasional exclamation how much they missed each other. Would finally happen what Hermione had hoped for at least for the last two years? She craned her neck, trying to get a glimpse of red hair somewhere in the crowed on the platform.

Instead Hermione saw a tall, dark haired girl standing alone beside her trunk and a cage with a young owl in it. She looked somewhat familiar. Than it hit her. Parkinson. Pansy Parkinson. She actually returned to school. Hermione wondered why she had not recognized her right away. She had known Pansy since they were eleven years old. In Australia Hermione had spend hours and hours thinking about the other girl. Parkinson never had shown any sympathy for any Muggle born let alone Hermione. Over the years Slytherin's first lady had mocked the Gryffindor girl, bullied her and had feed false information to Rita Skeeter about her, mobbed her friends. Parkinson had been in the front line of the Inquisitorial Squad under Umbridge's rein of suppression. Her whistle blowing act in the Great Hall was only the logical consequence from her previous behavior. That Pansy had defended Hermione had been so out of character. She was the last person to fight against the Dark Lord in any way, was she not? And yet Lestrange had called Pansy a blood traitor. The way that she did it, indicated that there was a history to the insult. Pansy had not simply acted in the spur of the moment. Hermione had no idea how Parkinson had acted during the last year. A few times Hermione even had a quill in her hand to write to Pansy. A lot of parchment landed in a heap on the floor beside Hermione's desk. The letter had never been finished.

Now Pansy Parkinson just stood on the platform, waiting patiently to be able to enter the Hogwarts Express. The Slytherin girl was wearing a jeans and a black woolen turtle neck jumper. Hermione had never seen her attired in such plain Muggle clothes. Pansy's hair was longer than before and fell softly around her face. Her face. It had lost that expression as if she was smelling something disgusting. It had lost its smugness. All in all Pansy looked much more friendlier than she ever had. At the same time she looked as if she felt totally out of place.

Hermione watched as Draco Malfoy entered the platform. He and Pansy shared a look, nodded to each other. He did not join her, just stood awkwardly rooted on the spot.

Pansy look around. Her gaze meet Hermione's. Pansy's eyes widened in surprise for a moment. Hermione had the impression that the dark haired girl regarded her with open attentiveness. Did the Slytherin girl just try to smile at the Gryffindor girl?

A pair of arms closed around Hermione from behind. She was lifted up and swirled around. Ron.

#

Pansy tried not to stare at Hermione while Weasley twirled her around and the rest of the gang gathered around them. Apparently it was happening what had been in the making for some years now. Pansy tried not to roll her eyes, not even mentally. It was a good thing that the other girl was happy, was it not?

Weasley had the worst timing just now. In that brief moment before the interruption, Hermione had only shown astonishment and curiosity towards her. Hermione had given her definitely not the look of hate and the readiness to attack that she had thrown at Pansy while she had pointed a wand at her. Pansy wondered what that meant. When she had set eyes on Hermione in the Great Hall after so many month of no news, Pansy had been shocked and relived that the lioness was still alive. Would Pansy had not pointed at Harry and shouted out out if she had spotted Hermione before she had registered the Undesirable No. 1? Pansy had no answer to that. The price either way had been too high. Accodring to Lestrange, there was still a price to pay.

Nevertheless, Pansy could not help but to take in every detail of the other girl, who was now happily hugging her friends. Back in May, Hermione obviously had been through the wars. Literally. The Gryffindor girl always had been skinny but in that moment she had looked haggard and beaten up. Now she had regained a few pounds. It suited her. Her skin sported a light tan and had lost that weathered look. Her hair was as wild as ever but it gave the impression that someone had at least tried to tame it. Hermione looked healthy again. And taken care of.

Pansy shook her head. Against her intentions she had stared like so many others on the platform at the group of war heroes celebrating their reunion. After a last glance, she gathered her belongings and entered the train determined to find a place with some privacy.

#

With Ron came Harry, Ginny, Luna, and Neville. Hermione greeted everyone with a hug. They exchanged hellos and how-are-you's. Around them more students and their families bustled on the platform. People stared at the heroes of battle of Hogwarts. Many failed to be discrete about it. Hermione felt their gazes and did not like the attention that was directed at her and her friends. Finally they were allowed to enter the train. The small group of friends found a compartment for themselves.

They settled in, putting away their luggage, attending to their pets. Ron introduced Pig to Harry's new owl Hugo. Neville put Trevor back in a travel cage - however the toad got out of there in the first place. Hermione on the other hand released her ginger cat from his travel cage. Finally they were able to find their seats. Hermione sat by the window. Ron miraculously sat beside her. Ginny and Harry settled vis-à-vis of the two. Neville took a seat by the door. Crookshanks sprawled on the empty seat. Hermione made a head count.

"Where is Luna? Have we lost her?" she asked.

"She is in the front car. Luna is the new head girl", Ginny answered. Hermione blinked at her a few times.

"Well, that is an unusual choice", she finally said. Harry and Ginny giggled at her reaction to the news.

"Probably that is the point. The world needs some new perspective at the moment. McGonagall said something like that when she visited Molly during the summer. Luna is certainly full of new ways to look at things", Harry said. Hermione nodded. That was a point no-one could argue with. Than she remembered something Ginny had written her in her letters.

"By the way Ginny, I've wanted to congratulate you in person for being the Quidditch captain this year", Hermione said. She stood up to hug her friend.

"Wait. Hermione is not head girl and Harry not the captain?" asked Neville.

"No. McGonagall told me in my letter that she seriously considered to appoint me but was in two minds about it as on the one hand I helped to win a war and on the other hand I dropped out of school. In her opinion, I have outgrown to be a mere student. She wanted to appreciate my academic achievements by offering me to tutor the first and second years in Transfiguration. I cannot be a full teacher as you need a mastery in your subject to be one. But the tutoring will help me to gain a mastery in Transfiguration. McGonagall decided to appoint someone as head girl who is a regular seventh year student." Hermione giggled. „Though I had no idea that ‚someone' meant Luna." Ginny shoved her lightly with a foot. Hermione grinned and shrugged.

„The same goes for me and the position of the Quidditch captain. I will give the youngsters flying lessons. Hooch needs someone to help as she is still recovering from some injuries. I'm free to apply for the Gryffindor team though. And I'm proud that my girlfriend has earned that badge", Harry said, pecking Ginny on the lips. Ron squirmed in his seat. Hermione grinned and swatted him on the arm. He relaxed and smiled back at her. In the corridor a lot of younger students walked by and starred through the windows of their compartment. Neville stood up and closed the curtains. Hermione picked up the thread of their talk again.

„Nevertheless, the headmistress wanted to offer me some private space. Ginny and I will share the head girl dorms of Gryffindor tower as they are not used this year. I'm glad to have Ginny as room mate and that I don't have to squeeze in with the regular seven years, so I won't argue", Hermione said, smiling at her best female friend who whisked at her.

„She did the same for us boys. Harry, Ron and I will share the slightly extended head boy quarters", Neville said.

„Do we know about the rest our class? Are Lavender and Padma are not coming back?" Hermione asked.

„No. Parvati and Padma are learning at home and will return for the N.E.W.T.s exams at the end of the year. Lavender does not even come back for the exams. She is satisfied with her OWLs. And she has got a job offer. She will be Rita Skeeta's assistant", Ron said. Hermione gave him a sideways look. She registered that her probably soon to be boyfriend was very well informed about his ex-girlfriend's plans for the future. Ron looked back at her with an open smile and without any trace of a blush. She decided not to let the topic go for now. It was all so new, too fresh. Nothing was settled between her and Ron. Maybe it was nothing.

"Dean and Seamus are also only coming back for the exams", Neville added.

The old lady with the trolley knocked at their door and asked if they wanted something. They indulged themselves with their favorite sweets. Ron bought some chocolate frogs. Neville decided against them with a sideways glance at Trevor and went for a liquorice wand. Harry and Ginny shared a package of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Hermione took some cauldron cakes. It felt good to keep up some well known rituals on the train ride to the school while catching up with her friends.

"Do we know who is returning from the other houses?" Hermione asked.

"Not really. But I guess not many of the Slytherins. Crabbe was killed in the battle. Goyle, Zabini, and Bulstrode will definitely not return. The same goes probably for Malfoy and Parkinson. Daphne Greengrass maybe?" Harry chipped in. There was a small pause.

"I actually saw Parkinson and Malfoy on the platform waiting for the train", Hermione said.

"Malfoy and Parkinson are back? What a nerve! Especially Parkinson! She had tried to hand over Harry to Voldemort. What is she thinking?", Ron said. Hermione folded her arms in front of her chest and looked out of the window. A city scape turned slowly into landscape.

"I don't know what to make of her. Parkinson has never been nice or friendly. Than she pulled this stunt in the Great Hall in front of everyone. Later in the battle she defends me against Bellatrix Lestrange. Lestrange called her a blood traitor", Hermione said. "Can you imagine why?" Hermione addressed Neville and Ginny for an answer. Ginny seemed like she needed to think about the question for moment. Neville also pondered how to answer. Hermione waited patiently. She wanted a qualified answer, not a quick one. Ron broke the silence.

„Do we really have to worry about Parkinson right now? You are finally back after being away form month. We missed you… I missed you. Tell us more about Australia. How did it go with your parents?" Ron asked taking Hermione's hand, smiling at her. Hermione looked down on their interwoven fingers. She decided to ask Ginny and Neville about Pansy again when Luna was also there. All three of them had gone to school with Pansy in the last year and where able to give her some enlightening perspectives on the Slytherin girl that puzzled her so much. Hermione looked Ron in the eyes and smiled back. A warm feeling was spreading through her chest. For now talking about Australia was just fine.

###

On the platform of Hogsmeade Station, the band of friends found Luna again. She was free of her head girl's duty for the moment and was able to join them in on the journey in the carriages to the castle.

Hermione looked around. She could not find Pansy in the masses of students. She shrugged it of. She will probably see the Slytherin girl sitting at her house table in the Great Hall during the feast. Why was she so impatient to see Pansy anyway? They will attend together the same school for the next year. A whole year to answer all her questions.

Harry interrupted her train of thoughts. He found an empty carriage for all of them. Hermione's stomach ached as she approached the vehicle. It was not the first time she saw the Thestrals. She had seen them at the beginning of the sixth year after watching Sirius being killed by Lestrange's hand in the Department of Mysteries. How naive she had been to want to see them in Hagrid's lesson so long ago. Now she could see their strange beauty. But the reason why she was able to do so made her feel sick.

The carriages made their way through the Scottish highland landscape towards the school grounds. From time to time the castle's dark outline towered against the darkening blue and orange hues of the evening sky. As it had always done. Hermione hoped that it was as strong from close up.

"Does anybody know how far they were able to rebuild the castle?" Hermione asked.

"We only know that the school can be reopened again", Harry said. "We will have to see for ourselves in a few moments, I guess."

"I have heard Shacklebolt decided that Askaban is not the only way to deal with those who were drawn to the dark side. For example: Lucius Malfoy is in Askaban but Narcissa Malfoy has to do social hours at St. Mungo's. Some Hogwarts students had to answer for their actions provided they were already of age last year. Shacklebolt left the decision to McGonagall what to do with them. These were students who followed the Carrows too enthusiastically and used dark magic too freely outside the classroom like Crabbe and Goyle, Zabini, or Millicent Bulstrode. They had to help rebuilding the castle or to work in other projects dedicated to rebuild the magical community", Ginny said. „I'm not sure about Parkinson."

Hermione made a mental note to ask Ginny about that last remark later and not in the rumbling carriages. She was nervous. Soon they would enter her alma mater and the sight of so many deaths. Fred, Tonks and Lupin died here. Voldemort. Lestrange. So many others. How strange would it be trying to lead a normal life right there in the same halls after everything had happened.


	3. Chapter 2 - The Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione enters the Great Hall for the first time after the battle and listens to the speech of the new Headmistress while keeping an eye on the rest of the seventh years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my outline the first and this second chapter were planned as one chapter with the working title "Catching up", because I wanted to set the stage for the events that will unfold in the story in one go. As this was published the first time as a work in progress, I wanted to keep up the flow and published smaller bits rather than than chewing on too large chunks.  
> While transferring the story to ao3, I decided to keep the structure of the story as is... So, here we go. Please enjoy!

Professor McGonagall stood up and stepped behind the candle lit lectern on the teachers' podium in the Great Hall. The room was filled with the buzz of an excited bee hive - the noise from the students of all seven years, of all four houses. The golden owl statue in front of the lectern woke up, ruffled its metal plumage, and proudly spread its wings. Professor McGonagall cleared her throat. The sound reverberated through the hall. At seven oval shaped tables the students became quite and turned around to face the new headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

„Welcome to all of you, the freshly sorted new students and the old students. Those who have attended Hogwarts in the past will be wondering about the sitting arrangements for tonight. Let me explain, why you are not sitting at the four elongated house tables but at an oval table with your classmates", McGonagall said.

Hermione looked along the students sitting around the table for the seven-years. This was by far the largest as the regular seven-years and the repeaters were sitting here. Ginny and Neville had filled in her about that in on the train ride. Last school year, Hogwarts had already held the O.W.L. exams before the battle. The N.E.W.T. exams had been scheduled for the end of May. The state of the castle and everything that had to be done right after the war was won, made it impossible to reschedule the exams during the summer. Hermione's old classmates were offered to graduate this year together with the regular seven years. They could either study at home and return at the end of the school year or they were able to attend the classes once more. Hermione tried to follow the headmistress' speech with one ear.

„Recent events - some of older ones amongst you have actively taken part in them - gave me some food for thought. I have reviewed how the traditions of Hogwarts came into being and decided to alter them in light of what happened in the past year and the escalation within these very walls", McGonagall continued. „The four school founders Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin divided the student body into four houses because they had different ideas of schooling and whom to teach. In the course of time the idea of the different houses served the purpose to give the students a home where they fit in, where they find a family and friends among equals during their education. The houses of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin indeed offered each a home to their residents but overemphasized the the otherness of the remaining houses."

Hermione could see the effects of the last statement. Around the table the seven years had grouped themselves according to their houses. Harry had guessed correctly on the train. Daphne Greengrass sat amongst her peers in the Slytherin block. Malfoy and Pansy were placed on the opposite margins of the block. As Hermione looked around, she also spotted Hanna Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley, Ginny's ex-boyfriend Michel Corner and six more of her former classmates from Huffelpuff and Rawenclaw she had seldom spoken to in the past.

„Unfortunately, the compartmentalization of Hogwart's student body seemed to have created too much differences and competition that in the end witch fought against witch and wizard against wizard. Therefore I have decided to try to bridge theses differences little by little. I want to encourage you to value your own special qualities as well as the diversity in the students of the other houses. The four houses will remain. You will sleep in the dormitories of the house you are sorted into. You will share breakfast with your house mates. You are able to spend leisure time with them in the respective common rooms."

The students started to whisper again. Hermione's gaze fell back on Pansy. The other girl sat straight and had her eyes fixed on the headmistress. Hermione watched her for a while, trying to interpret her body language and expression. It was hard to read though it was evident that Pansy was determined to retain a stiff upper lip in public.

„In the past the opportunity to socialize with your classmates from other houses were scarce. Therefor you will have dinner with your classmates like tonight. Three additional common rooms are installed. One for the first three junior years, one for the two years of pre O.W.L. students and one for the two senior years of N.E.W.T. students. Your prefects will show you the rooms tomorrow in the course of the day. You are welcome make and meet friends in there."

Ron grunted.

„That's likely. Who do I want to meet in this N.E.W.T. common room? All my friends are Gryffindors", Ron muttered.

„Luna is our friend and a Ravenclaw for starters", Harry said. Ron gave a slight nod combined with a shrug. Hermione shushed the boys to be quite. She slipped her hand into Ron's under the table. He squeezed her fingers lightly.

„Quidditch will continue."

A general murmur of relive went through the hall.

„So does the house cup. You will gain and lose points for your performance in class and your social commitment or lack thereof. Discrimination of any kind is not tolerated at Hogwarts."

This was followed by a general grown. Ron's hands balled into fists. He almost crushed Hermione's fingers as he still was holding her hand. „Social commitment? Like what? Holding a Slytherin's hand?" Ron asked and glared in the direction of Malfoy and than at Parkinson. Hermione shushed him again. She followed his gaze, withdrew her hand, and folded her arm's in front of her chest. He raised his eyebrows as if to say „What?" and blushed.

„Now let us welcome the new teachers for Muggle Studies Professor Elliot Elton-Collins and for Defense against the Dark Arts, Professor Fleur Weasley."

Professor Elton-Collins and Fleur stood up when their names were called. Fleur had been seated on Hagrid's other side and had been blocked from Hermione's view until than.

„Fleur is teaching here? You kept that one quite. Are there any more surprises you didn't tell me?" Hermione asked the Weasley siblings while the part-veela made her bows the the applauding students. Ginny grinned and shrugged. Hermione smiled broadly. Since Shell Cottage, she considered Fleur as a good friend and was glad to have her around during the next year.

After the introduction of the new teachers and the usual warnings against going into the Forbidden Forest Filch's list of forbidden objects followed. When the food appeared on the table the seven years ate in a rather hushed atmosphere. Especially the Sythering were a little bit stiff.

#

Pansy sat between a random Hufflepuff girl and a Slytherin boy. The girl chatted amiably with one of her friends. The boy turned away from her with ostentation not really having some to talk to on his other side. Pansy suppressed a sigh and helped herself to some shepard's pie. She wondered whether it was a good idea to return to Hogwarts. She could hear the whispers and feel the stares that were cast in her direction from around the table now and than. Pansy Parkinson never had been popular with the students of the other houses. Her actions as head girl during the last year had made sure of that. The attempt to sacrifice the boy who lived to the Dark Lord had made matters worse.

Pansy always knew when Hermione's eyes fell on her. Pansy did not seek eye contact again during the dinner. The confrontation with the Gryffindor girl was inevitable. Pansy knew that. Hermione would seek her out sooner or later to get some answers, but hopefully in a more private moment.

She had also lost her popularity with the remaining Slytherins for different reasons. Pansy could try to put the Parkinson pride on display to keep them at a distance. She was certainly able to go through the motions. It had worked on the train ride. She had been left alone and in peace. Things would be different in the shadows of the dorms in the dungeons. Last year Pansy had the privilege of the head girl's private quarters. She could not retreat into the privacy of that room anymore. She had lost that privilege after the Easter holidays. Now she had to share the dorms again with her peers. It had not been pleasant after Easter and would not be easier this year. But she was prepared now.

How would she face Draco on a daily bases?

And the Parkinson pride? Pansy had no idea anymore what the Parkinson pride meant to her. There had been a fall out with her parents long before the battle. As dyed in Death Eaters both her mother and father were now in Askaban. The family estate Parkinson Park was lost. The news got around like a bush fire in the magic community. Rita Skeeter had covered the story for the Daily Prophet. Skeeter had painted a most colorful and not very flattering portrait of Pansy and her kin. As the last free member of the Parkinson family, it had been left to Pansy to sell the manor and the surrounding land by auction to pay for the family debts. The private items she could not bring to Hogwarts were placed in a storage room in The Three Broomsticks at a small rent. The money she got left covered the school fee, the books and school supplies, and offered a small financial cushion to fall back on till she hopefully found a job after graduation. A job. There was something she had to wrap her mind around.

Pansy had considered leaving the country, even Europe. In the end she stayed. Great Britain was her home. If she wanted to have a future in her home country, Pansy had to stand her ground and face everyone. Was there a better place to do that than Hogwarts?

###

„That we have to share our meals with the Slytherins! Merlin's balls! What is McGonagall thinking? She is almost as mental as Dumbledore now", Ron said as they entered the Gryffindor common room. The four were the last to return into to tower. Almost every one else had gone directly into the dorms after the feast.

„Dumbledore was right about many things where others called him crazy or too credulous", Harry said as he followed Ron through the portrait hole."Think about Snape for example. Relax. It will awkward for some time but maybe it will pay off in the end."

Ron huffed. He opened his mouth to rant and rave again, but Ginny raised one finger to quite him.

„Don't even think about starting all over, dear brother of mine!"

She simply took Harry's hand and retreated with him in a darker and cozier corner of the common room. They started wordlessly to say good night. Ron eyed them and frowned. He look up at Hermione. She smiled at him.

„But seriously, do you think it will do us any good that we are forced to spend time with Malfoy or Parkinson?" he asked.

Hermione's smile faltered. Was that all he could think about now they were quite alone? She sighed. Ron continued to frown. Hermione waited for a moment longer. Ron seemed to be running far away from her in his train of thoughts.

„Well, there is nothing we can do about that right now", she said. He grunted. „Good night", she added.

Hermione started to to turn away and walk over to the stairs to the girl's dormitories.

„Wait!"

Ron took her hand and swung Hermione around again. He caught her in his arms.

„I thought, you would never come around", she said, grinning. Ron kissed her.

Finally.


	4. Chapter 3 - Hermione's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Pansy almost get to talk. Ron has the worst timing ever. And Pansy finds a new friend.

The first two weeks flew by. It turned out that most parts of the castle were rebuild as they had been before. The three new common rooms were located into a formerly darker and seldom used part of the castle on the second floor. They were designed with large window fronts, groups of stuffy chairs and sofas, and large fireplaces. They provided tables with bowls of fresh fruit, plates of cookies, and teapots with different kinds of tea. The common rooms shared a large terrace that offered a stunning view into the glens, hills and forests surrounding the castle. They were designed to be inviting. So far only the room for the junior years was visited on a regular basis.

On the seventh year dinner table, the blocks of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor slowly started to blend into each other. Only the Slytherin block seemed to be hard as rock. And still, Pansy and Draco sat at the margins.

The band of friends tried to find a new rhythm in the every day life of the school. Hermione for her part gave nervously her first tutorials for the junior years in Transfiguration under Professor McGonagalls supervision. Her time table was packed as ever. She simply had picked up where she left off after her sixth year. Hermione was especially curious about Defense against the Dark Arts. Fleur's syllabus for the seven years was very promising. She planned to teach them in the curse of the school year how to detect and identify traces of dark magic in objects and how to put up protective ward around objects and places.

Hermione saw Pansy only in classes and during the meals. She waited for an opportunity to catch the other girl alone. Only Pansy kept to her self quite effectively. She left quickly after she ate or after classes. And of course there was Ron. He was the reason why Hermione was seldom alone these days. He often waited for her after classes they did not share just to walk with her between the lessons. In many ways their relationship was like it had been all those years. They spend time with their friends and Hermione looked after his and Harry's homework. Only that the two of them kissed and Ron was very devoted to be by her side as much as possible.

###

It was a quite Saturday morning. Pansy liked to spend some time in the library before breakfast, not to study, just to be alone with her thoughts for a moment. No one disturbed her and she was able to avoid her room mates while she prepared to face the challenges of the day. The atmosphere in Slytherin House and in the seven years girls dorm was tense. There were those who came from families that supported the Dark Lord and those who were relieved that he was vanquished. These two fronts stood against each other. There was no in between. Only these two fronts did not know what to make of Pansy. The other girls had left her in peace so far but Pansy was aware how they were eying her like hawks. Pansy felt a little bit uneasy about Professor Weasley's plans for this year. She had put up some wards around her private things and did not want the others to be able to break them. In the end, she had to deal with that problem when the occasion would arise.

This morning Pansy had entertained herself in the Muggle Studies section. She wanted to find out, what exactly dentists were. In their sixth year, Blaise had mentioned that Hermione's parents were dentists, but failed to explain what that might be. Now that she had found the descriptions and the illustrations, she was glad, that healing of teeth could be achieved by magic. She closed the book, replaced it on the shelve, and returned to her hidden nook. Here in the library she was able to carve out a space of some privacy for herself. Pansy sat down at a little writing desk, opened her diary, and started to write.

Half an hour later, Pansy stepped out of the library, putting away her diary into her bag while walking. She felt a slim body crashing into her. All air was pressed out of her lungs. A great tome crashed on the floor and fell open. It took Pansy a moment to catch air again and to take in the scene in front of her. Photographs were splattered everywhere. A mousy haired boy sat on his bump. The younger Creevey boy, Colin's little brother. Colin Creevey, who had followed Potter everywhere with his camera, who was killed in battle. What was the name of this one? Daniel? Dennis? David? Dagobert? Whatever.

Pansy took a closer look at the photographs. Potter and sometimes his friends were the stars of every picture. Creevey just had dropped an album with his brother's collected works. The boy struggled to get up again muttering apologies without looking at her. He started to crawl over the ground to gather all the lost pictures. One picture caught Pansy's eye. It featured Hermione alone. She was in dress robes and was laughing at something or somebody outside the picture frame. Pansy knelt down to pick it up. What was the occasion? It was not what she had worn at the Yule Ball. And Hermione was older in the picture. Slughorn's christmas party perhaps? Hermione's counterfeit took a look at her beholder, frowned at her, and left the picture frame. Pansy sighed.

She looked up. The Creevey boy was looking nervously at her. The photograph in her hand was the last one left. She held it out to him. He flinched at her movement, ran away without taking the picture. Pansy could not blame him. The Creevey brothers had been all too clumsy during their DA guerrilla actions last year. Despite all efforts, Pansy always had caught them. Stupid gits. She had to put them into detention so often that she had almost run out of ideas how to punish them. Pansy's most desperate idea had been to let them do the cleaning in the hospital wing without magic after the New Years diarrhea epidemic.

Pansy looked at the picture again. The frame remained empty. She put the photograph in her diary and resumed her steps.

#

Hermione only wanted to check a fact for her Arithmancy essay that was nagging on her mind the whole night. When she arrived in the corridor she saw Dennis bumping into Pansy in front of the library. Hermione watched the little scene from a dark corner in the corridor. She half expected Pansy to sneer and to make hurtful remarks or even to draw her wand after being physically assaulted and hurt. Especially when the offender was a Gryffindor. Instead Pansy just took interest in one of the photographs. Why would she be so fascinated by a random picture of Harry? It was picture from Colin's collection, so it must be a picture of the-boy-who-lived-against-all-odds. After a moment of being lost in thoughts, Pansy tried to hand back the picture to Dennis. He took of in panic. Who could blame him? There was no Muggleborn at Hogwarts who had never been on the receiving end of the Slytherin girl's attacks. Pansy seemed to shrug of Dennis' reaction to her. Hermione watched as her face turned sad as she looked at the photograph again. Sighing Pansy unfastened the wrap-around strap of a well-worn leather bound journal and put the photograph carefully inside before she continued her way, the diary still in her hand.

Hermione watched as Pansy left in the direction of the Great Hall, probably to get some breakfast. She stood there for a moment longer just to marinate what she just saw. Than Hermione realized that this was a good opportunity to finally catch the other girl alone. She took the same way as the other girl a few moments before. When she came down the stairs that ended in the entrance hall, Pansy stood at the bottom, her bag leaning on the banister. She was sorting some of her books while putting back her diary. Hermione slowed down her steps. She had no idea what to say.

#

Pansy heard some steps from the top of the stairs and looked up. Hermione. The Griffindor girl looked at her and bit her lip. They starred for a moment at each other.

„Happy birthday, Hermione", Pansy said, after what felt like an eternity.

„Pardon?"

Surprise was evident on Hermione's face.

„Happy birthday." Pansy paused. „Today is your birthday, isn't it? 19 September?"

Hermione nodded slowly.

„Yes. It is. Thank you", she said. Hermione opened her mouth to say something else, only to be interrupted.

„Parkinson, don't even think about insulting her!"

Weasley's voice boomed through the entrance hall from the stair case that let to Gryffindor Tower. Hermione looked startled at him. Pansy rolled her eyes in his direction. Once again he proved to have the worst timing ever. She gathered her bag, cast an last look at Hermione, and left for the Great Hall. She chided herself. Oh, Merlin. Happy birthday? That was her opening line to break the ice with someone she had insulted and mobbed for years? Why would she want to break the ice anyway? Pansy felt like she was playing with fire just to be ablaze and reduced to ashes. Now seriously. Breaking the ice to be burned? Seriously? On top of everything, she really needed to sort out her figures of speech. In front of the door to the Great Hall Pansy made a sharp turn to the right and headed for the entrance portal of the castle. She decided to skip breakfast and take a walk by the lake instead.

#

„What did she say to you?" Ron asked while he protectively wrapped an arm around Hermione's shoulders.

„Happy birthday", she answered, folding her arms before her chest, stepping out of his embrace.

„Why would she do that?" Ron asked, frowning at her movement.

„Maybe because today is my birthday."

Hermione was a at loss about the little dialogue she just had with Pansy. The Slyterhin girl congratulated her and had called her by her first name. That were two things that had never happened before. Hermione had always imagined a very aggressive or emotional exchange when she thought about a confrontation with Pansy. She could not wrap her mind about this civil little small talk. Standing now in the entrance hall, Hermione felt safe with just stating the obvious to Ron. She looked at her boyfriend. He froze, blinked at her, and ran back to the stairs that lead to Gryffindor Tower without another word. He almost crashed into Harry, Ginny, and Neville who were just descending the stairs. The collision only was avoided because they jumped aside in time.

„What is wrong with Ron?" Neville asked when they reached bottom of the stairs.

„He forgot something", Hermione said, sighing.

„Why? It is Saturday. What is there to for-OWWW. Harry", Neville said, rubbing his shin. Harry had kicked him lightly.

„Happy birthday, Mione", Ginny said, hugging her. „Come on. Let's have breakfast. Afterwards we will try out the new common room for the senior years and give you your presents together with Luna."

###

After he had ran off, Ron returned quickly and presented Hermione with a red rose and a promise of a surprise in the evening. They ate peacefully and agreed to go to the senior year common room. Hermione walked in front together with Harry and Luna. She overheard the little bickering between the two Weasley siblings as they were on their way out of the Great Hall.

„I can't believe that you didn't tell me that today is Hermione's birthday", Ron said. Hermione could vividly imagine how he glared at his little sister. Hermione sight. This was so typical Ron.

„I didn't think it was necessary as she is your girlfriend. You are supposed to know these things. Not only as her boyfriend but also as her best friend for how many years now?"

Harry looked at her and smiled as if to say: ‚What can you do about that.'

„Hermione is the one who knows these things in this relationship", Ron said.

Hermione had the urge to turn around but some agitated voices in the entrance hall caught her attention. As it seemed, Ginny was quite capable to handle her brother.

„Ronald Bilius Weasley, she is your girlfriend, not your calendar. Grow up." With that said, Ginny left Ron behind with Neville and caught up with Harry.

As Hermione entered the entrance hall she realized that the voices belonged to Pansy and Dennis. In the middle of a ring of onlookers, they were shouting at each other while Professor McGonagall stood between the two opponents and tried to mediate.

„Professor, she stole one of the photographs out of my brother collection", Dennis Creevey. The boy was pointing a finger at Pansy. He was surrounded by three other fifth years from Gryffindor. Pansy on the other side was alone.

„I did no such thing. You ran into me, everything fell on the floor and I picked one up. I offered it to you, but you decided to run away", Pansy said with a cold voice, holding herself very tall. She looked him straight in the eye. „And now you come here and accuse me of stealing from you surrounded with some back up. Is that what has become out of the famous Gryffindor bravery?"

„Miss Parkinson!" Professor McGonagall interjected.

„You are a liar and a bully", Creevey yelled. „Who is going to believe you?"

Pansy set her yaw.

„You can accuse Pansy of many things. But in this situation, you simply were scared and ran when she offered you the picture, Dennis, like she said. Now, who is the bully here?" Hermione interrupted. She stepped beside Pansy and glared at Dennis. The onlookers gasped at her interference.

„You saw what happened, Miss Granger?" McGonagall asked.

„Yes, Professor", Hermione confirmed. The headmistress eyed her for a moment and turned to Dennis again.

„Mr Creevey. I want to remind you of what I said in my welcoming speech on your first day. Discrimination of any kind is not tolerated at Hogwarts. 10 points from Gryffindor", she said. „I hope I will never catch you again in such a despicable attempt to discredit someone like this. You may go now. And 10 points for Gryffindor for defending someone who is falsely accused. Thank you, Miss Granger, for clearing that up."

McGonagall shooed away the bystanders. Dennis ran off with a beed red face. Hermione turned to Pansy. In that motion she got a whiff of cinnamon. Pansy looked at her, nodded, and opened her mouth to say something. Ron placed himself beside Hermione, crossed his arms in front of chest, glaring at Pansy. Pansy simply raised an eyebrow at him and left.

###

„Merlin's beard. Ron, what was that about down in the entrance hall. Pansy probably only wanted to say thank you for the help", Hermione said. She let herself fall in one of the chairs in front of the fire place in the senior years common room.

„Hermione, you can't be serious. You are telling me off? I was protecting you", Ron said, taking a seat facing her.

„Protect me against what? There was no threat. She wasn't lashing out, neither with her wand nor with her tongue. And I can stand up for myself, Ronald Weasley. Thank you very much. And please don't interrupt every time I try to talk to her!"

Harry and Ginny occupied a love seat. Luna and Neville moved two more chairs over to close the cycle.

„Why did you help her anyway?" Ron deflected. „She has treated you so terribly all the time. And that attitude of hers."

The others simply watched as Ron and Hermione started one of their arguments. Some things would never change.

„You mean what reason is there to help her despite the fact she was accused wrongly this morning and it was the right thing to do?" Hermione asked. „Don't forget that she protected me against the most terrifying witch we have ever known so far. And since we are back at school, she was very polite to me. And her attitude? Your attitude towards her is not better. It is actually uncalled for."

„You want to talk to her? Be nice to her? After she tried to hand over Harry to You-Know-Who?" Ron said, almost shouting. Harry cleared his throat. Ron gave him an irritated look. Hermione was quite anxious to hear what Harry had to say about this matter.

„Oh Ron, do we need to go through all this again? We had almost the same discussion when I spoke in favor of Draco and Narcissa Malfoy during the hearings", Harry said.

Totally unfazed by the heated argument, Luna stood up again, got some cookies and tea for herself. She gestured to Ginny and Neville. They shook their heads.

„They are Death Eaters and you defended them", Ron huffed.

„First of all, Narcissa Malfoy was never a Death Eater. And I will never get tired to quote Sirius at you again and again: The world is not simply divided in good people and bad people", Harry said. He rubbed his forehead. „We don't always know why people act the way they do in certain situations. Sometimes good people make desperate decisions out of fear like Mr Lovegood while Luna was held captive. And sometimes people we considered to be enemies tried to help us. Though Draco did not interfere when Hermione was tortured by Lestrange, he tried not to give us away in Malfoy Manor in the first place. Mrs Malfoy successfully managed to lie to Voldemort - the greatest Legilimens of all times - and spared me from being finally killed in the Forbidden Forest after his first failed attempt. She actually saved my life. Maybe not out of altruism but still, here I am. And lets not forget about Snape, just to complete the list."

„Yes, but…", Ron said.

Harry raised his hand.

„Don't yes but me, Ron. I'm with Hermione on this one. We don't know anything about Parkinson and her story", Harry said. „As long as we don't know more about her motives, I will not judge her."

Hermione was very relieved to hear Harry say that. She thought that this was a good moment to pick up a conversation she started with Neville and Ginny on the train but never finished. She was glad that Luna was present as well.

„Thank you Harry", Hermione said."And now I would like to ask you something, Neville, Luna, and Ginny. Pansy was acting very ambivalent during the battle: First trying to hand over Harry and later defending me against Lestrange and Lestrange called her a blood traitor. Have you any explanation?" Hermione said. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw how Ron sank back into his chair, folding his arms, red faced.

„That is easy. She saw that her side was losing and tried to make some bonus points for the future", Ron said.

„Ronald, stop now. I seriously doubt that and really would like to know what Luna, Ginny, and Neville have to say to this. Please, don't interrupt them", Hermione said and turned to the three. „How did she behave last school year?"

They looked at each other. Neville shrugged.

„Parkinson did act odd during the last year. She was head girl. Whenever she was on patrol duty we were quite safe during our guerrilla DA activities. She seldom caught anyone. There was often some kind of warning that the patrol was on its way. Loud talking, doors clapping, stuff like that. Sir Nick had often enough time to warn us. You should think, she had learned to be more subtile and had learned her way around the school when she was prefect or a member of Umbridge's inquisitorial squad", Neville said. Hermione nodded. That sounded not at all like the Pansy who helped to uncover the DA in their fifth year.

„It was almost as if she was on our side, although she never tried to join the DA", Luna said. Ron shook his head at her. Neville uttered a brief laugh.

„Not that we would have accepted her", he said. „Remember what she had done to the Creevey brothers?"

As Neville did not elaborate his remark, Hermione looked at Ginny, rising an eye brow to encourage her to add some more information. Ginny took the hint.

„When Parkinson caught actually someone she made them do ghastly things for punishment. One of the highlights was that the Creevey brothers had to clean the hospital wing the Muggle way after the New Year diarrhoea epidemic. Parkinson has learned a lot from Snape in that respect and was very creative."

„She probably considered that very adequate for Muggle borns", Neville said. Ron nodded in agreement.

„You always look at what she did. But look at what she didn't do", Luna said.

Everyone turned around. Neville looked slightly amused. Ron was sceptical. Harry, Ginny, and Hermione had curiosity written on their faces.

„Meaning?" Neville asked.

„Pansy never, ever used the Unforgivable Curses for detentions although as head girl she was entitled to and even required to do so by the Carrows. Especially when the culprits were Muggle borns like Dennis and Colin", Luna said.

„Luna, you were not even there after Christmas", Ron said.

„No, but I know what she did until then", Luna said.

Hermione leaned forward in her seat.

„Wait. Pansy didn't torture Muggle borns although she had an official go-ahead ?" Hermione said. She looked between Ginny and Luna. Ginny nodded.

„That's why I'm not sure if she was convicted to social hour dedicated to rebuild the castle like Bulstrode or Zabini", Ginny said.

„But why than these ghastly impositions?" Harry asked.

„Probably just for the hell of it", Ron said.

„Ronald!" Hermione, Harry and Ginny answered.

„My guess is to cover up the fact that she didn't use dark magic", Luna said.

Hermione was glad that she waited to have this conversation while Luna was present. The Ravenclaw girl proved to have some interesting insights.

„Do you think that she is so intelligent?" Ron said.

„Pansy is Slytherin after all", Luna said. „To be cunning is one of their trade marks."

Ginny looked thoughtfully out of the window.

„Actually it was Parkinson and not Snape who caught us after we tried to steel Gryffindor's sword from the headmaster's office. She gave us to the headmaster rather than to the Carrows. The two were very unhappy about it. Snape insisted on punishing us himself as it was his office that was violated. The Carrows did not dare to argue with Voldemord's new favorite death eater", Ginny said. She swallowed. „I don't want to think about what would have happened if the Carrows were the ones who had punished us. This way we only had to go into the dark forest with Hagrid."

„Only after the Easter break Parkinson's demeanor changed. She was kind of broke. And Millicent Bulstrode became head girl instead. She took her role as head girl very seriously and was very fond of using the Cruciatus Curse", Neville added. „Thank Merlin, Ginny had not returned after Easter. Otherwise she would have been the first of Bulstrode's victims."

„Do you know why Pansy lost the head girl badge?" Hermione asked.

Luna, Ginny, and Neville shook their heads. Ron grunted.

###

After the little shouting match in the entrance hall, Pansy had retreated into the library again. This day had given her a lot to think about. Her first and her second encounter with Hermione and Weasley's constant interference. What to do with the photo. And some reactions of her Slyterhin peers. During the ruckus with Creevey, Pansy had spotted some of her room mates including Daphne Greengrass among the bystanders. When Hermione stood up for her, Pansy noticed a shift in their attitude. Daphne simply looked down. But Pansy did not like the knowing smirk of special group of regular seven year girls. That could mean trouble in the near future. She had to watch out for them. There was not much she could do about right now.

Pansy decided to approach the problem with the photograph instead. It was easy to solve. She knew that Luna often spent time in the senior years common room as it was one of the few places were all students would find her who wanted something from the head girl. Pansy was right. She found Luna sitting alone in one of the chairs that were grouped in front of the fire. She had some books on a coffee table, some parchment on her knee, and her wand stuck behind her ear. Pansy walked over to her.

"Luna, I was wondering if you could do me a favor as you are the head girl", Pansy said. The Ravenclaw girl looked up from her homework and nodded.

Pansy put her bag on the chair beside Luna's and searched for the picture.

"This is the photograph that belongs to that Creevey boy. Please return that to him? Somehow I can't manage to give it back to him personally without causing a commotion."

Pansy handed the photograph over to Luna.

"Yes, of course", Luna said. She looked at the picture of the deserted Gryffindor common room. Luna looked up at Pansy with wide blue eyes.

„The frame is empty for me anyway", Pansy said in a quiet voice.

In photograph, Hermione's counterfeit edged back into to picture again, suspiciously eying Pansy. Luna gave Pansy one of her airy but very knowing small smiles and put a hand on her arm. Pansy suppressed the impulse to shrug Luna's hand of. Slowly she accepted the contact until Luna withdraw her hand. She was the first in a long time to be friendly to Pansy, who touched her without the intent to hurt her. Not since… well. Pansy did not want to go into that. Not now. Luna's voice got her back into the present.

„Pansy, this is not Hermione. This is a picture of a past Hermione who disliked you. This has nothing to do with today's real life Hermione. Don't put too much meaning into it."

Pansy blushed.

„We were talking about you today, you know", Luna continued. "How you did not use dark magic as head girl and how you tried to create a diversion from that fact with unpleasant tasks."

Was she really that transparent? After all the smoke screens she had created?

„Lovegood, be careful. You make me sound like a better person than I am. I simply tried to stay myself during the Carrow ruling. Nothing more, nothing less. That does not make me good persons and it does not make me nice", Pansy said, trying to summon her most sneering attitude. Somehow that did not work for her anymore.

„That is only because of the narwals. It's a solvable problem", Luna said, giving her one last smile before redirecting her attention to the book in front of her. Pansy had no idea how to respond to that and decided not to comment. She had given Luna the photograph to pass on. That is all she wanted from the head girl. Pansy reached for her bag.

"You can stay, if you like", Luna said with her eyes fixed on her homework. "You could help me with the potion problem Slughorn gave us for homework."

A potions problem? Yes, that was something Pansy was able to deal with. Whatever. She took the seat beside Luna and opened her bag again to find her notes from the previous class.

###

After their argument in the common room, Ron had vanished. Later Harry and Neville had followed. Ginny and Hermione - Luna decided to stay indoors - went outside to walk by the lake side and to visit Hagrid. In the early afternoon, Ron came to find Hermione. He apologized for being so grumpy in the morning and asked her if she was ready for the surprise he had promised her earlier. He looked at her with soulful eyes and she was not able to refuse him.

He lead her into Gryffindor Tower, blindfolded her and took the blindfold of in the head boy's dorm he shared with Harry and Neville. Hermione was quite impressed. The room was redecorated like a little bistro with candle light and a table with table cloth plaited in red and white. The beds were hidden behind some makeshift room dividers. Ron had managed to organize some French dishes and even some wine. He was the younger brother of Fred and George after all. With Harry and Neville he had agreed that they would stay away as long as possible. It was not easy for a couple at Hogwarts to find some alone time.

They had laughed, they had talked, they had eaten. Now Hermione was lying beside Ron in his bed. They were both naked. When the snogging had become more intensive, Hermione took the initiative to take the last step. She was done waiting. She had waited at least two years for Ron to come around. She had almost died while waiting. Died without knowing how it was to be in a devoted relationship, how it was to have sex, for Merlin's sake. She wanted the whole package. No more useless waiting. Still, Hermione had the nagging feeling that she was missing something. She just could not put her finger on it. In his sleep, Ron rolled on his side and hugged her.

He had been gentle, thoughtful, and sure what to do. Hermione did not want to think about how much he might have practiced with Lavender already. No. She definitely did not want to think about Lavender in that moment.

Hermione reached for her wand and cast a Tempus spell. It was 9.30 p.m. Maybe it would nice to let Harry and Neville back into their dorm, if they wanted. Hermione untangled herself from her boyfriend, got up, and got dressed again. She tried to wake Ron to let him know that she was going. She shook him and called his name. He mumbled and rolled himself on his stomach. Hermione kissed him on the cheek and left.

On her way to her own quarters, Hermione's thoughts returned to Pansy. Since her return to the school Hermione had seen so many different versions of the Slytherin girl. Not once she had though of her as pug faced like she used to. Instead Pansy had become more catlike in Hermione's mind. The proud and elegant movements, her the-devil-may-care attitude towards Ron or Creevey, her cautious attentiveness toward Hermione. A tiny voice in the back of her head wondered why she did not mind thinking about Pansy after her first night with Ron.


	5. Chapter 4 - News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pansy doesn't have a very good start into the new school year. The day before, she had the clash with Creevey, today she receives bad news. And the potion lesson does not end well despite the Amortentia fumes in the air...

 

On day that followed Hermione's birthday, every student who passed through the entrance hall had to do that under the penetrating stare of one Severus Snape. He scowled disapprovingly over the colorful mass of students who were wearing their casual clothes. It was Sunday. Harry had learned from Madame Hooch that there was no portrait of the latest Slytherin headmaster in the headmistress' office. After some research, Harry found out, that Snape's portrait had automatically appeared after his death, only not mounted in the office like Dumbledore's and his predecessors but somewhere in the dungeons. One can only guess, that it was because it had seemed that Snape had abandoned his post. During the renovation of the castle, the portrait was put in one random store room by helpers probably for the same reason. Over the summer, Harry had already done a lot to restore Snape's name. After he had learned about the missing portrait, he went to the headmistress and both worked to end that Snape found his proper place between the other previous headmasters of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had took Filch some time to find the painting. Now it was on display in the entrance hall for the day before Filch had to bring it to its final destination. Of course Ron and Harry started to bicker about it every time they went past the portrait, first when they left after breakfast in the direction of the Quidditch pitch and later when they came back to return their gear to Gyffindor Tower before dinner. Harry spend the day outside to prepare his first flying training with the junior years. Ron tagged along to help.

Around dinner time a second sight could be marvelled at in the entrance hall. A tall man stood in front of the painting, regarding Snape's features, trying to ignore the stares of the by going students who were heading for dinner. He was attired in dark, official looking robes.

In the Great Hall Hermione already sat the table with Luna and Ginny waiting for the Harry, Ron, and Neville to come down from their dorm. One by one the three boys came through the massive door just behind Filch who headed for the teachers' table. Ron was first, obviously anxious not to miss the moment when the food was served. He, Harry, and Neville cast looks over their shoulder when they approached the 7th year table.

„Have you seen that stern looking bloke standing in the entrance hall? He wears an uniform that Aurors wear on official occasions. Do you think that something is wrong?" Ron asked after pecking Hermione on the lips. He took a seat on her free side.

„I saw him. But I've no idea who he might be", Hermione answered, smiling at her boyfriend. He had not been around almost for the whole day and she was quite happy to see Ron again after her alone time she had spend contently in the library.

Some Slytherins entered the hall. Pansy followed a few steps behind them. Hermione catched herself admiring how the other girl looked in jeans, a black long sleeve shirt, and a broad cotton shawl with green stripes. Somehow the shawl emphasized Pansy's eyes.

The Slytherin bunch sat down in one row as usual. Luna signed at Pansy to sit beside her. The Slytherin girl hesitated but did as she was wordlessly asked. Hermione felt how Ron tensed up beside her. She patted him on the thigh as a sign to keep calm. The Slytherins were followed by a small group of Ravenclaws, Huffelpuffs, and the rest of the Gryffindors. They took seats in a mixed order and filling the gap between Pansy and her house mates. Nevertheless, the Hufflepuff girl getting the seat beside Pansy glanced suspiciously at her out of the corner of the eye.

Pansy looked rather pale, casting nervous looks in the direction of the exit. On the teacher's podium, Filch addressed the headmistress. Professor McGonagall whispered to Slughorn, both got up from the table, and followed Filch outside into the entrance hall.

„I think, he is one of the Aurors specialized in searching for missing relatives. You know, the kidnapped family members of people who unnerved death eaters. Like they did with Luna to blackmail her father - you know - to keep him in line", Neville said, leaning over Ron and Harry. Hermione raised her eyebrows.

The seven dinner tables started to fill with food. Professor McGonagall re-entered the Great Hall and directed her steps to the seven years table. Pansy seemed very interested in her dish.

„I'm sorry to interrupt your meal. Miss Parkinson, would you please follow me", the headmistress said. Everyone at the table went quiet and was staring at her. Malfoy made a small gesture with his hand as if to reach out to her. Pansy did not look up, just stood up, her eyes downcast, and followed Professor McGonagall out of the hall. Hermione watched her retreating figure until it was out of sight. She had a bad feeling about this. If she did not know any better, Hermione would say that she was a worried for the other girl.

„Bloody hell! I thought, that Pansy's parents are in Askaban because they were in You-Know-Who's inner circle. That is all the family she has got. Who would be there to kidnap and why? She was a big supporter herself", Ron blurted out.

„Weasley, keep your mouth shut before you embarrass yourself", Malfoy said, sneering at him. Ron stood up. His hand flew to his wand. Malfoy mirrored his actions. Hermione and Luna stood up as well. Hermione laid a hand on Ron's arm.

„Boys. Don't", Luna said. She stepped around the table, facing the Slytherin boy. Ron and Malfoy starred at each other for a moment, than sat down again. Hermione offered him some chicken wings from the nearest plate. He accepted them.

McGonagall returned to the Great Hall only half an hour later with a frown on her face. Pansy was nowhere to be seen.

#

Pansy and the ministry official had been lead by the Professors McGonagall and Slughorn into the headmistress' office. The man had introduced himself as Clifford Dryground, a member of the Auror office subdivision for the recovery of missing witches or wizards. The four of them were sitting around a heavy desk in the middle of the office. He flipped through some official looking parchments, selected one, and read it diagonally. Dryground took a deep breath.

„Miss Parkinson, in May you filed with the Auror Office a report for a missing person that according to your testimony was kidnapped by the Death Eaters by order of Bellatrix Lestrange shortly after Easter", the Auror said. „The missing person was a Miss Marianne Waters, Muggle born, unmarried, without family. You are not related to her. She was your nanny from your birth until you were nine years old."

McGonagall leaned forward behind her desk. She looked worried. Slughorn put a hand on the backrest of Pansy's chair. The support that the professors showed her made the tension in the room almost unbearable for Pansy. Dryground took his eyes from the official looking parchment in his hand and looked directly at Pansy. She nodded to confirm his statement. She did not trust her voice to transport an intelligible answer. For months now she had been waiting to hear something about Marianne's whereabouts. This was it.

„Miss Parkinson, I'm sorry to inform you, that we have found Miss Waters' body together with three other bodies in a makeshift anonymous grave in a piece of forest near the grounds of Malfoy Manor. As it seem, all four persons were killed by some henchmen the moment the news got around that He-who-must-not-be-named was defeated. It seemed to be done quickly by the means of the Killing Curse. The death eaters intended to leave no lose ends before they fled", Dryground said in a monotonous voice. „I'm sorry for your loss."

Pansy's gaze dropped to the ground. A strange relieve flooded through her. The state of not-knowing and false hope came to an end. It only lasted a moment. Her chest burned. Her vision blurred. Her arms and legs felt numb. Her head buzzed. Pansy barley heard the condolence voiced by Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonagall or Professor Slughorn's offer for consultation in case she needed someone to talk to. Dryground fumbled with his parchments and took out another one.

„As it happens, Miss Waters has left you something in her last will. Unfortunately the Decree for Justifiable Confiscation is standard procedure now in any case that dark wizards have been involved. The Auror office is currently checking your inheritance so that no traps set by dark magic will surprise you in the future. The content of the will is due to be revealed to you in approximately a month."

What the fuck? As if that was important now. Her gaze shot up again. Her heart was racing. Her breath fluttered uncontrollably. There was not enough air in the room. When could she leave?

„I'm sorry I cannot give you better news. Again, I'm sorry for your loss, Miss Parkinson."

Pansy stood up and ran from the office.

###

The start of the week was marked by a double period of potions. The class was small and contained members from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin including Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Pansy and Malfoy. The students were standing around a desk with a large cauldron on it and waited for Slughorn to begin the lesson. Everyone was there, except Pansy. Hermione half expected her not to show up because of what had happened the evening before. At last minute the class room door opened and Pansy rushed in. Her appearance was as always very neat, with collar very up high and a tight tie. Only her red rimmed eyes and an paleness gave away that something was not well. Slughorn gave her a small nod. She settled somewhere in the back of the student crowd.

„She showed up. Have you seen her coming through the common room? She did not sleep in her bed all night", one Slytherin girl asked the boy on her side. He shook his head. The girl snickered. Slughorn raised an eyebrow at them.

„Silence please. Good morning, dear class."

Slughorn smiled benevolently at his students.

„The sight of Mr Willoughby inspired me while planning the lesson for today." Ron frowned and blushed. „We will combine two elements we have already talked about in the past. We will have a closer look at a certain type of potion and will concoct an antidote."

„Who is Willoughby?" the Slytherin girl asked again. Hermione tried to remember her name. That girl started to irk her.

„Maybe he meant Weasley. Look at ginger's face", came the answer.

„Please be quiet and pay attention, Miss Castorius. I will not ask you again", Slughorn said. He glared at her. She looked at the ground. With a small shudder he regained his cheerful air again. With a grand gesture Slughorn lifted the lid of one cauldron on a table in the centre of the classroom. Hermione grinned. That one was easy. He had presented this particular brew in class before. It had the characteristic mother-of-pearl sheen, steam rising from the surface in spirals. Only the smell was not quite as she remembered.

„Tell me, what potions this is", he said and without a pause: „Yes, Miss Granger."

„It is Amortentia, sir. The most powerful love potion in the world", Hermione said.

Somewhere in the back one of the Slytherins whispered: "Merlin's balls. Why would Weasley inspire Slughorn to talk about love potions?"

„Maybe because his brother successfully sells them", one of the other Slytherin girls answered.

Slughorn pinched the bridge of his nose. He shook his head.

„10 points from Slytherin for constant interruption of the class", Slughorn said. „Miss Castorius, if you don't have anything nice to say, be quiet. This is the third prompt within five minutes. I really resent taking points from my own house. You are forcing me to make quite a habit of it."

He removed his hand and stared at Luisa Castorius, regular seven year Slytherin. She tried to hold his stare but failed with a pout. Slughorn turned to Hermione again.

„Right you are again, Miss Granger. As I recall, you smelled fresh cut grass, a spare sheet of parchment, and something you didn't want to share with the class at that time", Slughorn said.

Hermione took in another whiff of the brew in front of them. She still smelled the parchment, or rather the moment of opening a book, and the grass. What happened to the scent of Ron's hair? It was gone. Now there was a trace of cinnamon. Where had she smelled it before? It was not so long ago. Maybe Saturday evening when she was intimate with Ron? She decided to ask about the change. It made her feel uneasy.

„That is true, sir. But it smells differently to me now. Why?" Hermione said.

Slughorn gave her a knowing smile.

„Because you've developed, Miss Granger. All the time. Especially now you are still young. You mature, you get to know yourself better. It becomes more clear to you what you really want in life or in a partnership. You make experiences. In this process it happens that the things you find attractive change or get a clearer shape. Therefore the potion will smell differently for you in the course of your life", Slughorn said. Hermione knew that this is something to think about in a more private moment. She noticed how Pansy lifted her head as the professor went on. She also noticed how the other girl rubbed her chest from time to time.

„Your task for today is to brew an antidote for one of these other two love potions", Slughorn waved at the blackboard and the names of the portions appeared. „Beware, Mr Potter. You will not get away with a bezoar this time." He shook one of his fingers at Harry sat down behind his desk. Harry only grinned. „While you prepare the potion, you can already think about the essay topic for your homework: Why is Amortentia probably one of the the most dangerous potions in the magical world. Please begin."

The students moved to find a working place. Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione found a table where the two couples could work together. Hermione could not help but look over her shoulder. Pansy passed the cauldron with Amortentia and took a deep breath. For a moment there was a small smile on her face. Pansy put her things on an unoccupied table and prepared to work alone. Luna joined her. Pansy frowned at Luna. Unperturbed Luna continued to unpack her things.

„What is Luna up to over there? It's like watching a bunny asking a snake to come out and play", Ron whispered in Hermione's ear. She swatted him on the arm. On the other table, Pansy rolled her eyes and accepted the Rawenclaw girl as her partner. They set up their cauldron, gathered the ingredients, and consulted their potions book. More and more frequently, Pansy rubbed her chest.

Pansy yelled out in pain. Everyone in the room froze in their action. Pansy gasped for air. Her paleness turned almost gray. Still gasping, Pansy sank to her knees, her hand clutching the shirt over heart. She lost conscious and fell to the floor. Luna tried to catch her falling and kneeled beside her, talked to her while feeling her forehead. Hermione jumped to her other side. She heard that Slytherin girl snicker. She looked around but only found Malfoy standing near by. His paleness matched almost Pansy's. The rest of the students were still rooted on the spot. Slughorn came running through the class room, fumbling for his wand in the depth of his robes.

„Miss Lovegood, Miss Granger please be so kind and take charge of the class until I return. I will bring Miss Parkinson to the hospital wing", Slughorn shouted. He conjured a stretcher, put Pansy on it, and levitated the still unconscious girl out of the room.

No sound was heard. Hermione changed gear and switched into her teacher's mode. She clapped her hands.

„Please continue with your task."


	6. Chapter 5 - In the Hospital Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cursed scar strikes. And Hermione has a lot to think about.

Hermione made her way up to the hospital wing. During dinner she had received a note with the request to consult with Madame Pomfrey. The school healer asked for her help but did not elaborate the specific problem in the note. Could this have something to do with Pansy's break down during the potions class in the morning? How on earth could Hermione be of help to the healer?

Hermione opened the heavy doors to the ward. All beds were empty except one. Pansy was still unconscious and was bedded at the far end of the room. Hermione looked around. Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. The Gryffindor girl moved closer. Pansy sweated heavily and tossed around under the covers. The blanket was crumpled and one leg stuck out. Someone had changed her school uniform into a pajama with a buttoned up Henley top. She was still as pale, as grey as she had been when she lost conscious in the dungeons. The smell of various ointments lay thick in the air over everything else. One scent reminded Hermione of a Muggle cream containing menthol and camphor. Her mother had used to rub her with it when she had a chest cold as a child.

Hermione sat on a chair beside the bed. She could not help herself and took the other girl's hand in her own. Pansy rolled her head so that she was facing Hermione. She seemed to calm down a bit.

Madame Pomfrey came striding out of her office. Headmistress McGonagall followed her in a more moderate pace.

"Ah, Miss Granger. Thank you for coming. I hope you can with a few questions regarding Miss Parkinson so that I can help her to regain her conscious. She has not woken up since Professor Slughorn had brought her to me almost ten hours ago", the healer said. She had started to talk while still walking.

"Of course I will try. How can I help?" Hermione asked."What exactly happened this morning?"

„I had to do some tests to get an idea of what is wrong with her", Madame Pomfrey said. She came to stand on the other side of the bed and laid a hand on Pansy's forehead. "When I examined her, I found something. I'm not sure yet, but might be the source of her current state. This is why I've summoned you here. You see, Miss Parkinson has a scar on her chest that worries me. I found it under a glamour she must have been wearing here at school almost all the time." Madame Pomfrey straightened the blanked and covered up the free leg. "This wound has some parallels to the one I found on your left arm when I examined you after the battle."

The moment Madam Pompfrey mentioned the scar on her left arm, Hermione's gut exploded. She inhaled sharply. On her way to the hospital wing, she had not expected to be reminded of her encounter with Bellatrix Lestrange. The headmistress came to stand behind Hermione.

"Miss Granger. Hermione. I understand that it might be not easy to talk about it. From previous conversations I remember that you received your injury in Malfoy Manor. But every piece of information you can provide might help Poppy to cure Miss Parkinson", McGonegall said.

Hermione nodded despite the hot and cold waves rushing through her body. She brushed her hair out of her face and exhaled heavily. Madame Pomfrey raised one hand.

"Normally I would respect the privacy of my patient. In this case I need you to understand to be able to treat her adequately. I trust in your discretion, Miss Granger", Madam Pomfrey said. „Your parents are healers in the Muggle world. Am I right to assume that you understand the concept of healer patient confidentiality?"

Hermione nodded again. Madame Pomfrey opened the buttons of Pansy's top and stretched the gap a little bit. Instinctively Hermione got a stronger hold on on the other girl's hand. Only a part of a word became visible. O-O-D space T—R-A-I. Hermione stood up to get a better look. She recognized the handwriting immediately and made an educated guess on what was written on Pansy's chest. How did that happen? Madam Pomfrey exposed the scar fully. Hermione was right. BLOOD TRAITOR. Yes. It was unmistakably the same handwriting as her scar. The shape of the letters B, L, double O, and D left no room for any doubt. Though Hermione's scar had healed neatly and was reduced to simple white cuts by now. The words were only standing out when she tensed the muscles of her arm. Much like Harry's writing from detention with Umbridge on the back of his hand. Pansy's scar was blood shot and stood out like a relief.

"Yes. That looks like my scar. Lestrange violated me while torturing me", Hermione said. She sat down aging. „Why hasn't Pansy's wound healed properly yet?"

Madam Pomfrey sighed. She closed the gap in the neckline of the top again without buttoning it up.

"The mere cut is actually healed, but the scar is the home of a curse. It seems that the magic of the curse does not mix well with the glamour Miss Parkinson has cast to hide the maimed skin from her roommates. The glamour might have made things worse. The cut was created by means of magic and probably with the intention that Miss Parkinson should suffer from it without the possibility to hide it."

"Why would she hide it?" Hermione asked.

"Professor Slughorn has reported to me that the atmosphere in Slytherin House is quite tense. Some are reformed, some never have shared the pure blood mania, some resent the downfall of Lord Voldemort. Miss Parkinson is in a tight corner. Non of her room mates trust her for different reasons. The liberal Slytherin fraction does not believe that the loss of the head girl position means that she had a change of heart. The ultra conservative pure blood fraction considers her to be a traitor", the headmistress said. „Miss Parkinson has to share a bath room with all of them."

Of course. It was one thing to hide a that scar without showing any cleavage in public under garments like turtle necks, broad shawls, or buttoned up school uniform shirts with the collar fasten securely by ties. As Pansy had to share the showers with a bunch of other girls, moments of privacy were a rare luxury and always in danger.

Madame Pomfrey made an impatient sweeping gesture with her hand.

"Be that as it may. She cannot hide it with magic anymore. Merlin knows how the curse in the scar will react to more treatment with charms and glamours. The most important thing is now to learn more about the nature of the curse. She needs to wake up and I don't want any bad surprises in the future", the school healer said said.

"Professor McGonagall, can't she move into the Slytherin head girl's quarters? Maybe for health reasons?" Hermione suggested

"Yes. I think she should not be exposed to the scornful eyes of her class mates. I will talk to Professor Slughorn about it. Thank you, Miss Granger", the headmistress said.

The healer made some counting movements with the fingers of her right hand.

"As Lestrange is indeed responsible for this, the cut is at least five month old. It is likely to be older", Madam Pomfrey mused as she examined the scar once more. „I wonder if the curse is getting stronger with the time. Or it is triggered by something. Without more information I can only guess." She looked at Hermione again. „What kind of weapon did that wicked women use? How did you treat the injuries on your arm?"

"Lestrange cut me with her own dagger, but I didn't hear her saying any incantation. My scar had never looked so angry or dangerous. Dobby the house elf helped us to escape. While Dobby Appeareated us out of Malfoy Manor, Lestrange through the dagger at us and hit him in the chest. He was able to bring us to Bill and Fleur Weasley before he died. Fleur took care of my wounds. She was also able to take a good look at the dagger. Professor Weasley is the person you need to talk to."

"Thank you, Miss Granger." Madam Pomfrey turned to the headmistress. "Maybe Miss Parkinson is lucky, that we have Gringotts trained curse breaker teaching at the school. I will see, if Professor Weasley has returned to her quarters yet", Madame Pomfrey said. She went straight to her office, probably to use the school internal floo network to contact Fleur. The headmistress stood at the end of the bed for a moment longer.

"Miss Granger, you seem to have overcome the differences with Miss Parkinson", McGonagall said, nodding to Hermione's hand over Pansy's.

"Yes. No. I don't know. The way she has acted is very confusing. First she tries to hand over Harry to the death eaters, the next thing I know that she is defending me against Lestrange during the battle. And now it seems, we have more in common than I've ever imagined."

McGonagall laid a hand on her shoulder and left to follow Madam Pomfrey. Pansy stirred and groaned in her feverish sleep. Hermione had not the heart to leave her lying there like that all alone. Not just yet. A door cracked. Malfoy entered the hospital wing. He had the leather-bound diary in his hand that Hermione knew to be Pansy's together with some of fresh clothes for change. He eyed her suspiciously.

„What are you doing here?" he asked.

„I'm trying to help her", Hermione answered. „You?"

„I'm bringing her some stuff she might need", he said. „The girls refuse to bring her anything."

Hermione assumed that he was referring to Pansy's room mates. Malfoy put the things on the bedside cupboard. Hermione waited for him to sneer at her. He only stood beside the bed and watched Pansy squirming in her pain with a frown on his face. The unbuttoned Henley top allowed a peak in her cleavage. The letters ‚d' and 't' were still exposed.

„Do you know anything more about what your aunt did to her? The scar seems to be the root of the problem", Hermione said. Malfoy raised an eyebrow at her. „Draco, I really want to help her. And I think you know quite a lot about what happened. If you care for Pansy, please tell Madam Pomfrey or Professor McGonagall what you know."

Malfoy looked down at Pansy. The corners of his mouth dropped and his chin pushed forward. Without a word he turned and left for the entrance. At the door, he came to an hold, obviously fighting an internal battle. He jerked around again and returned to Pansy's bed with an angry spring in his step. His jaws ground his words before he started to talk again.

„She got this a few days before you were brought to Malfoy Manor", he said through his teeth with a cautious expression on his face. Hermione just waited for him to continue. She had not expected that he would talk to her at all. Malfoy somehow seemed to lose the tension in his body. His shoulders dropped.

„Mind you. I'm only telling you this, so you can help her", he said.

Hermione nodded. He folded his arms in front of his chest and huffed.

„Pansy refused to marry me. Right there and than in front of an marriage registrar send from the Ministry of Magic and a fine selection of Death Eaters in the ballroom of Parkinson Park during the Easter break. Our parents had arranged the ceremony without telling us. We were just ordered to be there without any explanation. Her parents needed fresh money. My parents needed more allies. Preferably old pureblood families."

„She did not want to marry you? You two were together, weren't you? The dream couple of Slyterhin House", Hermione said. Despite her resolution not to interrupt him, she had to ask. Pansy had refused to become the future Madame Malfoy, a position that had been the Slytherin girl's highest ambition. Pansy had refused to create a lifelong bond with Draco, the boy she had always adored. Or so Hermione had believed. Than again Pansy had surprised her so often recently. Malfoy's eyes flashed angrily.

„There are a lot of things you don't know about her or me, Granger." He took a deep breath. „We fell apart during the sixth year. She learned a lot about herself and I was preoccupied with other things, as you might remember", Malfoy said. He had the grace to blush. „When Pansy said no, my aunt completely lost it. She jumped at Pansy and Apperated with her into a distant chamber of Parkinson Park. I guess you can imagine what kind of treatment Pansy received. Our parents were were not amused that their bargain could not be concluded and with the humiliation in front of the esteemed guests. All four of them knew what Bellatrix was up to and did nothing to prevent it. Not even her mother and father." He swallowed hard. „I tried to get to her but I didn't know the way through the house. It was her former nanny Miss Waters who finally barged into the scene. I don't know what she was doing there in the first place. Miss Waters had been banned from Parkinson Park years ago. Anyway, she was no match for Aunt Bella and was taken and locked away by some of the present Death Eaters," Draco said. „I guess, yesterday the Ministry official was here to tell Pansy that they found her nanny dead."

Hermione tried to digest what she had just heard. She pondered all the questions she had since Pansy defended her against Lestrange in May. She had been right. There was a story to why Lestrange had called Pansy a blood traitor. It might be even the reason, why Pansy had lost the post as head girl. Hermione was sure she had not all the facts and answers she had been looking for. But some light was shed on the mystery of Pansy Parkinson. Hermione had developed a theory to why the other girl tried to hand over Harry to Voldemort - something that had vexed Hermione more than anything else that Pansy had ever done in the past. It must have been a desperate attempt to rescue her nanny. She tried to protect someone she loved. Hermione understood that motivation. She herself had done something desperate and extreme to keep her parents save. What she had learned about Pansy so far had shown her such a complex and strong person. Time would bring Hermione all the missing facts. Right in that moment the most important thing was that Pansy would get well again. Hermione had to admit it. She had started to care for Pansy.

„Well, I thought, she wants this when she wakes up."

Malfoy waved at Pansy's diary on the bedside cupboard. Hermione was startles as she heard the voice. She had almost forgotten that he was still there.

„Yes. When she wakes up", Hermione pondered. „Do you know a little bit more about the dagger your aunt used? Madame Pomfrey needs every information she can get."

He shook is head.

„This is all I can tell you."

Malfoy straighten up again.

„You are supposed to be the brightest witch of our age. Make the best out of what I've just told you."

With his old sneer back in place, he left.

###

After Malfoy had left, Madam Pomfrey had returned to Pansy's bedside with Fleur in tow. The healer had shooed Hermione out of the hospital wing for the next examination of her patient. Hermione had not even time to say hello to Fleur properly.

She decided to walk back to Gryffindor Tower. Hermione's mind was full with the second problem that bugged her since the morning. She had to watch her steps carefully as she reached the moving stair cases. Not all of them could be used safely with an absent mind. One of them had not quite been the same since the battle. It got stuck in mid swing and often ended just in thin air. More than once a day, Filch had to come and bang on certain spots on the banister so that the stair case would continue its way and reconnect with a landing. It was marked with some red and oranges cones. Students often took longer routs just to avoid getting stuck on it.

Why could Hermione not smell Ron's hair in the Amortentia anymore? For years now, she thought that she wanted to be with Ron, to feel comfortable and save in his arms. A potion told her that he somehow had lost his attraction for her? How could that happen? Slughorn had said:

„You mature, you get to know yourself better. It becomes more clear to you what you really want in life or in a partnership."

Hermione sighed. While striving for academic achievement and keeping Harry alive all those years, she had never taken the time to think about what she wanted in a relationship. The constant worry for Harry's life was over. That was something mayor she had shared with Ron in the past. But they were not the sixth years anymore who had to deal with the constant thread of war or the rush of hormones. They had gone through the war and ended it. All three of them had to and were able to face new challenges in live. Their future was open, free of prophecies and predestination.

Ron had developed, too. Maybe it was a different of his scents she smelled in the potion?

Hermione found Ron sitting on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room. She sat beside him. He kissed her. His hands were roaming her back. As they deepened their kiss, Hermione tried to find that trace of cinnamon in his taste. Her hand played lazily with the cloth of the shirt covering his stomach. She knew that underneath the thin layer of cotton there was a fine trail of soft dark red hair, starting at his navel leading south - region of his body she had explored only two nights before. It had been a pleasant experience. He was a gentle lover and a good looking guy. He may not be as wiry as Harry thanks to his healthy appetite but his muscles were nonetheless toned. Many girls considered him to be hot. Hermione and Ron were alone in the room. Should she not feel the desire to take advantage of that fact, to get rid of the offending garment in order to get closer to him? Hermione let her hand wander over Ron's chest up to his face to stroke his cheek. The kiss came to a natural end. Hermione snuggled into the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply. Ron put some distance between them to look her in the eyes.

„Are you smelling me?" he asked.

„What? No. Of course not", Hermione answered, blushing.

„Have you found it?" He asked again. „You know, the new scent you smelled in Potions this morning?"

Hermione looked at Ron. There was only curiosity in his eyes. No bad temper or jealousy.

„No, I haven't", she said.

„Me neither."

Hermione fell back into the sofa. Ron placed an arm around her and she leaned into him. They put their heads together.

„What does that mean? Should a potion tell us who we are supposed to be with?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head.

„This is not like a prophecy in Divination. The smell of the potion mirrors something that is hidden inside ourselves. We should pay attention to it. It is more like listening to our inner voices."

She rubbed her face.

„Ron, I love you. But do you think we are acting like two people madly in love?"

He squirmed uneasy.

„No. You are right. I love you, too. But then I think of Harry and Ginny after they did it for the first time back at the Burrow. They were all over each other the next day, giggling the whole time. They could not keep their hands to themselves. It was unbearable to watch." He covered his eyes with his free hand. After a moment he gestures between them."You and I spend the whole day apart after our first night together without being forced to do so. You went to the library and I was outside on a broom with Harry. It was a Sunday for Merlin's sake. We could have spend the whole day together if we had wanted to. What does it say about us?"

„We are friends. Not lovers", Hermione said.

A tear ran down her check. She knew, somewhere along the line, they had missed the right moment in time to become the couple she always had dreamed them to be. Ron pressed her closer to him. Hermione put an arm around his waist and hugged him back.

„Friends is good", he said. She nodded into his chest. A small remark he just made knocked at the back of her mind.

„What did you smell in the portion today?" she asked.

„Lavender."

„What? You want to be with Lavender again?" she said, quickly sitting up. She remembered how good he was informed about Lavender Brown's plans for the future on the Hogwarts express.

„Not the person. The plant", he said, laughing and pulling her down again. „Crazy woman, calm down."

„Oh." Hermoine settled back into his embrace. „Have you ever come across anyone with that scent?"

„Yes, actually I have. It gave me a little fright."

Hermione laughed but did not push the subject. She kissed him on the forehead and went upstairs to her dorm. She was greeted by the sight of a very nervous Ginny. The red head was pacing up and down in the room, biting her fingernails nails. Hermione cleared her throat. With a swish of the long hair, Ginny spun around. She looked determined and nervous.

„Hermione, don't get me wrong. What exactly do you feel for my brother?" Ginny asked.

Hermione grinned. Ginny was as protective of her brothers as they were protective of her.

„I love him. You know that", Hermione said.

Ginny took a deep breath.

„Yes. And I don't doubt it. I will try to get closer to my point." She came to stand right in front of Hermione and looked her straight in the eyes. „How do you know that he is Mr Right for you? Do you feel like he completes you? Can you imagine an every day life with him? Do you want to wake up next to him? Can you talk to him about all the things that move you? Does he arouse your passion?" Ginny blushed deeply. „With that I don't mean your temper. When he kisses you or when you are with him?"

Hermione shook her head.

„I'm not that passionate."

Ginny tipped lightly at Hermione's forehead.

„Bollocks. You are one of the most passionate people I know, Hermione."

Hearing Ginny's arguments, Hermione felt that she and Ron did the right thing to break up. It was not only the potion talking. Her instincts had already told her that something was off between them. Ginny had also observed something was missing in their relationship. Hermione took her friend's hands and let her to one of the beds. They sat down and leaned against the head board.

„Ginny, calm down. I think, I know what you are trying to say. I feel warm and comfortable when I'm with him. It felt like home. I don't want to miss that feeling in my life. But you are right. Something is wanting. I love your brother, but I'm not in love with him." With a sigh she added: „I wish it was different."

„Does he know?"

„Yes. He feels the same about me. We just broke up ten minutes ago. We have established that we are friends, not lovers."

Ginny made a face of comic astonishment.

„Really? I didn't hear anything. You and Ron broke up and he did not through a tantrum?"

Hermione shrugged.

„He didn't. At least not yet."

They laughed.

„Hermione, Ron will always be there for you. You won the heart of a Weasley. Actually more than one. That is for life. I'm glad you two broke up. I don't want him or you to get hurt because I love my brother and - here it comes - I love you, too. You are family."

For the second time that evening, Hermione was hugged by a Weasley.

„Have you ever met someone like that? Is Harry your Mr Right?" Hermione asked.

„Yes, he is. That did not change while you three were gone."

Hermione nodded. She was glad that at least one couple survived.

„I want you to have the whole package, too. Is there someone in sight who fits the description?" Ginny asked.

Hermione thought of that trace of cinnamon. She had smelled it only a few days before. She could not connect a face to that scent.

„I don't know."


	7. Chapter 6 - Chocolate and Literature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione visits Pansy a second time in the hospital wing. They finally have a chance to interact and discover something to talk about other than their past or Bellatrix Lestrange. And then there is Luna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First something official: At the end of this chapter the two opening paragraphs of Jane Austen's novel Pride and Prejudice, first published in 1813, are quoted.
> 
> And now to the fun part: I want to thank everyone who leaves comments and kudos for this story! I'm always happy to read your thoughts and insights.
> 
> Please enjoy. And maybe have some chocolate while reading. ;)

 

Pansy sat upright in the hospital bed and had some tea, buttered toast, and some pain soothing potion for breakfast. Before the meal, the healer had provided her with the means to wash herself. Every muscle in Pansy's body felt sore. The food and the potion helped her to feel a little bit better. Madame Pomfrey had explained earlier to her that Professor Slughorn had brought her in the previous day and she had been unconscious for almost twenty four hours. Pansy had woken up on her own accord. That unfortunately did not mean that she was cured. Madame Pomfrey had explained further that the reason for Pansy's blackout was a curse nested in the scar on her chest. Pansy had feared that something like that would happen ever since her clash with the wicked witch after the cancelled wedding. Pansy hated that women. Lestrange did not only order to murder Marianne. Even from her grave, Lestrange played with Pansy like a cat with its prey. She resented the feeling of being externally controlled in such a sinister way.

The school healer had also announced that Professor Weasley would visit Pansy in her next free period, as the professor was both a curse breaker and experienced in taking care of wounds inflicted by Lestrange. Pansy wondered how Madame Pomfrey knew that Draco's aunt was the one who wounded her. She herself had not been in the position to tell the healer about it.

Pansy put the breakfast tray on the cupboard beside her bed. She could hardly wait for the consultation with Professor Weasley and dreaded the visit at the same time. She wanted to get rid of the curse but did not want to relive the incident again. The professor would probably ask a lot of questions. Pansy wished that she had something to distract her. Someone had brought her the diary, but she rather not wanted to dwell in bad memories at the moment. A book would have been nice. Homework. Or anything else to read. Just sitting there and waiting sucked.

Pansy remembered Professor Weasley from the time she had been Fleur Delacour, Beauxtabon triwizard champion and object of desire of everyone who was into girls. Rumor had it that she was part veela. It turned out to be true. Pansy had been quite taken with the French girl, though she had not understood why. She had not known herself or she had been in denial back than. Maybe both. In class Professor Weasley's thrall did not effect her any more. Perhaps because Pansy had seriously fallen in love with someone else?

At ten o'clock the door of the hospital wing finally opened and Professor Weasley stepped in. Pansy was shocked to see that Hermione accompanied the professor. What was she doing here? What did she know? Did she care? Had she seen the scar? Pansy fumbled with the buttons of her top. All were closed. How did she look? Pansy tried comb her hair with fingers. Why in Merlin's name did she smell like she had been dipped in mint essence?

„Good morning, Miss Parkinson. Madame Pomfrey told you, that I was coming?" Professor Weasley greeted her. „I hope you don't mind that I asked Hermione join me, as you both share the experience of being attacked by Bellatrix Lestrange. Actually it was Hermione who advised Madame Pomfrey to consult me in your case. Do you agree that she stays?"

Pansy stared at Hermione and nodded. Hermione gave her a small smile. She seemed to be as nervous as Pansy. The idea that the wicked witch had laid her hand on Hermione made Pansy's heart ache. The other girl and the professor took a seat beside the bed. Pansy could not take her eyes from Hermione.

„What happened to you?" she asked.

Hermione rolled up the left sleeves of her school uniform, first from the gray jumper, than from the shirt. She stretched out her arm for Pansy to examine. Pansy sat up and took the hand that was offered to her and read the word scratched with thin white lines into the flesh. MUDBLOOD. With the fingers of her free hand Pansy stroked lightly over the harmed skin. A tiny voice in the back of her mind was relived that Hermione did not jerk her arm away under the touch.

„It happened during the Easter break. According to Draco it was only a few days after you were attacked. Harry, Ron, and I were captured and taken to Malfoy Manor. Lestrange feared that we had something of hers and started to torture me for answers", Hermione said.

„But the cuts on your arm look fine", Pansy observed.

„Lestrange didn't put a curse in it", Professor Weasley explained.

„Why?" Pansy asked. She had a hunch. It made her stomach turn.

Hermione swallowed hard and looked down.

„Lestrange didn't intent to let me survive the night at Malfoy Manor. Greyback was supposed to have his way with me after she was finished. She cut me to cause pain and humiliation in that moment. She did not waste her time to curse someone who would be dead shortly afterwards", Hermione said.

Pansy squeezed her hand. Hermione squeezed back. Both let go after a moment. Pansy immediately felt the loss of the contact.

„As you can see Hermione was rescued in time together with Harry and Ron", Professor Weasley said. „They were brought to my husbands and my home. With them came the dagger Lestrange had used to wound her. I've kept the dagger to investigate it." The blond woman reached for her bag. „Please don't be alarmed, I'm going to show it to you now to ask you if it is the same she used on you. Alright?"

Pansy nodded. Professor Weasley took a box out of her bag. She opened the lid with a tap of her wand while muttering a code word and presented the content to Pansy. She recognized it immediately. The dark metal, the shape of the blade, the ornaments on the handle, the Black family crest.

„Yes, that is the same dagger, Professor Weasley", Pansy said.

The curse breaker nodded.

„Good. That is a blessing in disguise, because now I have some inklings on how to proceed. The dagger is laced with some active dark magic - curses waiting to be called. These curses cannot be found in the Standard Book of Curses for Beginners or Advanced Learners. We are talking about a very powerful witch. The curse in your scar is one of Lestrange's own designs like the dagger as a means of transport for it."

Pansy's head swam with all the information Professor Weasley gave her with this matter of fact voice. It was different from the manner Dryground had talked to her. The way the curse breaker spoke to her gave Pansy the hope that Professor Weasley actually knew what she was talking about unlike so many other teachers of Defense against the Dark Arts they had in the past.

„Once a curse is called, it is gone from the dagger. It cannot be identified by examining the weapon." The blond women flipped some strands of hair over her shoulder. She sighed. „Now here comes a catch. If the carrier of the curse is an object, I can often simply go by trial and error or by destroying the carrying object. As you are a living person, this is not an option. In order to break the curse without harming you, I have to know how it works."

Great. Pansy had to wait again, that someone else would find some answers that her well being or happiness depended on. This time it was her health, even her life. Hot and cold showers went through her body. Professor Weasley fetched a notebook and a pencil out of her bag. She scanned some of her notes.

„From what Madam Pomfrey told me and my examination of your scar yesterday evening, I suspect that the curse is triggered rather than something that gets stronger over the time. I don't think the curse she used on you is designed to kill you but rather to punish you when you least expect it." She leaned forward a bit. Her voice became softer. „I need to ask you some personal questions to identify any possible trigger. Madam Pomfrey told me that you disguised the scar under a glamour?"

Pansy swallowed. A thin layer of sweat had formed on her face.

„Yes, Professor. But I did that already when I returned to school after the Easter break. I had to move out of the head girl's quarters back into the seven year dorm again. The scar itched but I never had a break down like this."

The professor scribbled something down and drew some lines to some older notes. Pansy tried to read some of it upside down, but the handwriting looked as if a spider had fallen into an ink well and run in panic over the page. The crossing lines did not help.

„I see. Nevertheless, you shouldn't continue to hide the scar with magic. The glamour might not act as a trigger. As you described yourself, the scar reacts to it can make the effect of the curse worse in the long run", she said. Professor Weasley looked up again. „You got some bad news the other day. I understand that you are grieving for someone who was close to you. Is that right?"

Pansy nodded. She tried to speak but her voice failed her.

„It's OK, Pansy. You don't have to go into detail now. What exactly did you do when you broke down?" Professor Weasley asked again.

The use of her first name startled her but also soothed her. Pansy cleared her throat. Still no sound came out of her mouth.

„We had Potions. Professor Slughorn presented us with a cauldron of Amortentia. I think, everyone of us got a nose full of the steam and had a happy moment", Hermione answered for her. Pansy nodded thankfully.

Professor Weasley made a last note, drew some lines, and put away her notebook. She stood up.

„I think, I have a bit of homework to do now. You have given me some traces to follow. For the moment, there is nothing much you can do. Only observe yourself carefully. Whenever you feel the scar reacting to something, come to me or Madam Pomfrey immediately", Professor Weasley said. „Try not to worry too much. With joint forces, we will find a solution."

She waved her good-bye and left Pansy alone with Hermione. The other girl sat quietly by her bed while she tried to process what she had just heard. After a few minutes, Pansy felt confident to use her voice again.

„Thank you for your help", Pansy said. „Given our history, this is nothing I can take for granted."

Hermione only nodded and blushed. She made no attempts to leave. Pansy was glad that Hermione stayed. She tried not to get lost in the details of the other girl's features - these warm dark brown eyes, the golden reflexes in the mess of brown hair, those few freckles on bridge of her nose. Pansy wracked her brain to find something to say. Anything, really, that was suitable for a reasonably normal conversation. Nothing that floated through Pansy's mind met that kind of standard. ‚So, you have been maimed by Lestrange as well. Fancy that, hu?!' just was not an acceptable opening line. Oh, wait! There was one thing that might work.

„You have talked to Draco?"

Hermione exhaled heavily and smiled.

„I met him here after I consulted with Madam Pomfrey about, you know, your scar. He brought you your things", she said and waved at Pansy's diary. With a little frown she added: „Malfoy told me about the arranged marriage that you blasted. A marriage to trade money and influence between families. That sounded like a dark Jane Austen novel." She laughed nervously. More sober she added: „I'm sorry. I didn't want to intrude. This is pretty private stuff."

Pansy's mind was on hyper drive. Hermione seemed to have learned quite a lot about her. She must have so many questions. She would not be Hermione if she did not have any questions. Pansy wanted her to have questions. She wanted Hermione to understand her. And she wanted to tell her these things herself. She really did. Only it would be nice, if they had some kind of friendly talking basis first. Pansy leaped on the one neutral aspect in the other girl's answer to keep the conversation going.

„Jane who?"

Hermione grinned.  
„Jane Austen. She was a Muggle writer and lived between 1775 and 1817, during the Regency Era. People lived in a tight corset of conventions. Back than a women of a certain rank had only very little choices, mostly between marriage, spinsterhood, or becoming a governess." Pansy flinched at that. Her mind strayed to Marianne for a moment. „Marriage out of love was a luxury. In her novels Jane Austen granted her heroines that luxury no matter how precarious their situation was in the beginning."

Pansy smiled. Hermione had switched into her lecturing voice. Yes. This qualified as a reasonably normal conversation with the know-it-all.

„Is there any novel you can recommend especially?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

„You want to read two hundred year old Muggle literature?"

Pansy shrugged.

„The promise of a happy ending sounds quite tempting. Madame Pomfrey wants to keep me a few more days in here for observation. I can't make homework the whole time."

„Try _Pride and Prejudice_ first. I can borrow it to you if you don't mind pencil scribblings in the margins. I have my copy at Hogwarts."

„Yeah. That would be great. Thank you."

Pansy tried not to smile to wide. If Hermione borrowed her the book, she had to visit her at least one more time, maybe even during the day. It was something to go on.

Luna entered the hospital wing, her arms full with books and parchment. That looked terribly like homework.

„So, you have made a new friend", Hermione said, smiling warmly in the direction of the blond.

„Yes", Pansy answered. She shrugged. „I have no idea, how that happened."

„Perhaps it is because of the Wrackspurts flying around your head", Hermione said. „She will help you to get rid of them."

Pansy suppressed the urge to flap her hands around her head in panic.

„I beg your pardon?"

Hermione grinned.

„Never mind. Just don't question it. The friendship, I mean. It is a good thing to have Luna as a friend. Sometimes odd, but good." Hermione said. She waited till Luna reached the bed.

„Good morning Luna", she greeted the Rawenclaw girl. „I'll leave you two alone."

„Hello, good to see you. I've missed you at breakfast", Luna answered. „You want to go already?"

„Yes. I said, I would meet Harry and Ginny in the library", Hermione said. She stood up. „And Ron of course. Do you want to join us later?"

Luna agreed. Hermione turned to Pansy. There was that small smile again, the came mostly from the eyes rather than the lips.

„See you later."

With that Hermione left. Pansy watched the retreating figure till it was out of the door.

„What does she see in him?" Pansy asked herself.

„Ron is a decent guy. They have been friends since they were eleven years old. They have been through thick and thin together." Luna answered.

Pansy jumped a little. Did she actually said that out loud?

„That sounds like a good friend. But why is she with him?" Pansy asked. This time she directed the question at Luna. „He is not exactly boy friend material for her."

„She has been pining for him for so long. She needs to experience how it is to be with him to realize that this is not what she really wants."

„Its just painful to watch."

„Only for those who have a special interest in her", Luna said.

„Luna!" Pansy shouted out in surprise. Luna looked at Pansy with her large blue eyes and a airy smile. There was no ill will or gloating. Still, Pansy felt caught red-handed. Internally she agreed with Rawenclaw girl. Pansy was biased when it came to Hermione's choice of love interests. Could she admit that to Luna? It would be the first time to say it out loud that she was into girls, especially into Hermione. Pansy was not quite prepared for that. Than again, Luna seemed to know her greatest secret already.

„How did you know?" Pansy asked.

„I see the way you look at her." As if Luna sensed her uneasiness, she added: „It's OK. I had a soft spot for Ginny once. If you look around, you find a lot more people who are into the same sex. Well, in Slytherin not so many, I guess."

Pansy was irritated by Luna's frankness with this topic, with girls fancying girls or boys liking boys for that matter. She envied Luna for her carefreeness.

„And now? Do you still fancy Ginny?" Pansy asked, testing the waters. It was indeed quite liberating to be able to have some simple girl talk about these things.

„Not anymore. She is one of my best friends. And there is no arguing that Ginny and Harry belong together."

Luna fumbled in the pockets of her robes. She finally found what she was looking for in the hood of her cloak. It was a yellow radish. Luna tethered it on the head part of her bed with blue string.

„Here. That is charm to keep away the Wrackspurts. They enter your head your ears and make your brain go fuzzy", Luna said. Pansy could not help herself. She looked around to find one. Luna added: „You know, they're invisible. Normally you can keep them away with happy thoughts. But at the moment, I think you need some help with that."

Pansy did not know if she wanted to laugh of cry. Hermione was right. Having Luna as a friend was good. Sometimes a little bit odd, but good.

###

When she was alone again, Pansy finally allowed herself to cry for Marianne. After she ran from McGonagall's office she had locked herself in the Room of Requirements where she was overwhelmed by guilt for her nanny's death and rage against Lestrange. At some point in the night she ran out of energy and simply fell like an empty shell into a bed that the room provided for her.

The excitement of the day - the echo of the torture and her sore muscles, the news that she got an incalculable curse lurking in her chest above her heart, blossoming out new friendships, her grief - took their toll. Pansy fell asleep. When she woke up, she found the copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ together with a little box sitting beside her diary on the cupboard. A handwritten note sticked out between the pages of the book. It said:

„I always find that a good story should be enjoyed together with some good chocolate. If you have any questions, please ask. H."

Pansy felt a little sting that she had missed Hermione's second visit. She let her fingers glide over the handwriting. The note invited her to come and find Hermione, if she had questions. Pansy opened the little box and found some of Honeydukes finest chocolate truffles inside. She regarded the treats and decided that this was not only just a polite gesture but an honest invitation. At least she hoped that it was. Pansy wanted the chance to spend time with Hermione without pretending to be someone else like she had done in the past.

She opened the book, inhaled the scent, flipped to the first chapter, and read:

 

> _It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife._
> 
> _However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters._

Pansy was enraptured. What an opening! These first two paragraphs alone dripped already with irony and wit - and scratched on the surface of some truth universally acknowledged. She liked the idea. Pansy read on. She enjoyed the light and ironic tone of the narrator and looked forward to the promised happy ending. Deep in thoughts she reached into the box full of chocolate. She plunged into Elizabeth Bennet's world while one truffle melted most deliciously on her tongue.


	8. Chapter 7 - Talking Jane Austen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Pansy try to maintain their new found friendly relationship outside the hospital wing.

 

The next day Pansy was surprised but exited to have Hermione as a visitor again just before dinner time. It was Hermione's second visit while Pansy was conscious. Luna had already been there around lunch time. Pansy told the other girl that she only had to stay for one more night and that she could return to class the next day after Madame Pomfrey's final examination. The doors of the hospital wing burst open. Luisa Castorius stormed in, her hands glowing bright red, her nose four times larger than normal. She was screaming for the healer. Tears of rage streamed down her cheeks. Castorius eyes fell on Pansy. She drew her wand and aimed at the girl in the bed. Pansy reached for hers. It stuck somewhere under the pile of books and parchment on the bedside cupboard. Hermione was faster. She stepped between the fury and the girl in the bed, wand at the ready.

"Yes?" Hermione said to Castorius raising one eyebrow. Castorius measured her opponent and lowered her wand. At least she knew better than to duel with a war heroine. She decided to attack Pansy verbally instead.

„You sly little bastard of a Blood Traitor", Castorius shouted in a shrill voice. „Look at me! That is your doing! What is this magic?"

Hermione stood more broadly, creating a more impressive wall between the two Slytherins. Pansy on the other hand tried to keep a straight face but a smirk came through from time to time. Her instincts had not led her down when she decided not to leave her private things unguarded in the dorm.

„Yeah, just hide behind you Mudblood friend", Castorius said, venom in her voice.

„Miss Castorius, watch your language in my ward!"

The school healer came striding towards the ruckus at the her patient's bedside. Castorius send her a poisonous look. Madame Pomfrey gave her a critical once-over and led her away behind a screen at the other end of the room.

„What was that about?" Hermione asked Pansy.

„She has been caught redhanded being nosy", Pansy said, shrugging.

„I haven't imagined you to be into puns", Hermione said amused. „Now tell me, what has happened there?"

Pansy winked at her.

„I assume that Castorius tried to snoop through my private things in our dorm while I'm out of the way. I've put up some wards around my bed, closet, and bedside cupboard just in case. Obviously I was right to do so." Pansy noticed Hermione's frown. „Don't worry. Madame Pomfrey will be perfectly able to lift the spell with a flick of her wand. It would have lasted only for a few hours anyway."

Hermione looked confused.

„How was Draco able to get your things?"

Pansy had wondered the same since she had found her diary lying on the bedside cupboard.

„I can only guess. The wards I've chosen are the strongest I know but they require a second person to be able to get to the protected objects and places as a backup for emergencies. I named Draco because I didn't believe that he as a boy would ever be able to set a foot into the girls' dorms. He does not know that he is my backup. Slughorn must have accompanied him when he fetched my things. Otherwise he could not have entered the girls' section." Pansy looked exhausted for a moment. „It also means, that none of the girls, not even Daphne, were prepared to provide me with some fresh clothes while I'm here."

Hermione took Pansy's hand for a moment.

„But Draco was", Hermione said. „Although you two don't seem to talk much these days."

Pansy had to agree with the other girl. Talking to Draco again was one of the challenges she had to face here at Hogwarts. He had visited her. That was a silver lining. She looked in the direction of the screen at the other end of the room.

„You know, Slughorn was here and offered me to move into the empty head girl's dorm of our house so I won't be exposed to the other girls. For health reasons", Pansy said, making quotation marks int the air. „I don't think that I'll do it."

„Why in Merlin's name not?" Hermione asked.

„I think that the move will solve as many problems as it causes."

#

Hermione was not sure what she was doing again in the hospital wing. She felt quite drawn to the Slytherin girl. The day before, she had brought Pansy her own copy of Pride and Prejudice with all her personal notes in the margins. Not that she had confessed her darkest secrets on the pages, but still. She had also presented the other girl with chocolate. At the moment Hermoine was discussing said novel with Pansy rather than inquiring the Slytherin girl about her actions in the past, like Ron had demanded in the morning. Ron had started an argument when Hermione had mentioned that she had visited Pansy's bedside and was planning to do so again. In some points he had been quite the advocates diaboli for the reasons that spoke against seeking contact let alone seeking friendship with Pansy. He had reminded Hermione of how she had bullied her over the years. She had reminded Ron how he and she became friends. Ron of course had raised the issue that Pansy had tried to handover Harry to Voldemort. Hermione has answered, that Pansy had done that to protect someone she cared for. Pansy had done what Mr Lovegood had done. Ron had said that Pansy was a Slytherin. Hermione had told him to grow up. At that point Harry had said, that he trusted Hermione's instincts and Ron should let her do her thing. Ron had tried to argue. Ginny had called him a stubborn git. The two siblings had bickered all the way to the Great Hall and during breakfast. Neville had only watched owlishly the interaction of his friends. Hermione knew that this argument was far from being over and done with. Nevertheless, here she was again. It felt like the right thing to do. Hermione was confident that everything else would fall into place in its own time.

Pansy looked better than the previous day. Her complexion had lost the grey tint and her elegant paleness had returned. Hermione tried to get the Pansy sitting in front of her together with the past version of the Slytherin girl. With putting up the wards, Pansy had demonstrated that she was as intelligent and cunning as ever. Only these days she used her abilities to safeguard herself against possible threads rather than to attack. Pansy was not a completely different person. She just made different decisions now. And the punishment she had chosen showed that Pansy had a sense of humour. Hermione just hoped that the other girl had made the right decision in respect to the head girl's dorm.

Their conversation returned to the novel after Castorius was restored to normal and had been complimented out of the hospital wing by Madame Pomfrey.

Pansy raved about how much was in the novel that she recognizes although it took place in past period in the Muggle world. Austen must have been such a keen observer and knew just how to put it in words. It read like it contained some truth that was still universally acknowledged - at least in some families.

Hermione was pleasantly surprised to see Pansy so enthusiastic about something. The other girl was actually quite easy to talk to and Hermione loved to hear her insights into the story. Pansy's eyes sparkled when she talked. Hermione saw that Pansy's eyes were green but not as bright green as Harry's. Towards the pupil the colours blended into a light brown. Some dark specks were scattered all over the iris.

Pansy explained that she understood, why Hermione had thought of the _Pride and Prejudice_ after she had learned about the wedding. The novel portrayed marriage as a means of survival and gaining social status rather than as a matter of love. These were sentiments that Pansy recognized from her parents and other contemporary pureblood families in the magic community. Marriage was a political device to ensure the survival a pure blood line or to merge families in order to increase the political or financial power. Only that her parents were much colder, more businesslike, even more sinister about marrying their only daughter off to the highest bidder than anyone in the novel.

Hermione did not know how to react to this revelation. That was quite a harsh environment to grow into. Before she had found the right words, Pansy changed the subject.

„Have you found a character you could identify with", Pansy asked. With a grin she continued. „I bet it's Lizzy Bennet. She is a very intelligent, witty, and complex character, and - of course - reads a lot."

Hermione laughed. She was not sure but maybe, just maybe Pansy had paid her a compliment. This time it was not so hard to find an adequate retort.

„I don't know about witty or complex. But she is definitely my favourite character. Have your found your counterpart? Maybe Mr Darcy? Well-bread, proud in the beginning but overcoming his prejudices?"

Pansy shrugged.

„I would love to be like Mr Darcy. It would mean that I will get my girl in the end. Unfortunately, that will not happen. So probably I'm more a Caroline Bingley. Being lonely and looking down on every one. Or the other way round."

Pansy blushed and pressed deeper into her cushions. Hermione shook her head.

„No. You are no Caroline Bingley. Not anymore", Hermione said.

A little phrase in her statement triggered Hermione's memory. Had Pansy just said that she would not to get her girl? Hermione remembered that Lestrange had not only called Pansy a Blood Traitor but a queer Blood Traitor during the battle. Hermione had quite forgotten about that little adjective.

"What do you mean by getting your girl in the end?" she asked. „You want a girl?"

Pansy blushed even more. Hermione wondered if there was any blood left in the other parts of her body. After what looked like not just an inner battle but a full blown war, Pansy nodded but avoided Hermione's eyes. Hermione did not want to make the other girl feel awkward. That was quite something to admit for an pure blood family off-spring. Hermione was impressed that Pansy trusted her enough to do that. How could she react to show that she deserved that trust. Once again Hermione felt that she was walking on eggshells.

„What is it like?" she finally asked. Well, that was not the most eloquent answer she could have come up with. It seemed to work, nonetheless.

„What?" Pansy looked her directly in the eyes in surprise.

„You know. To kiss a girl?" Hermione added.

Pansy sighed.

„I wish I knew", she said.

„You mean to say: You never have?"

Pansy shook her head again.

„Is there no one special?" Hermione asked. She felt a strange anxiety.

„There is someone I like. The girl would run screaming, if she knew that I fancy her. Well probably not run screaming, she is not the type for that but she would not be very thrilled about it."

Hermione felt for Pansy. Unrequited love hurt. Badly.

„Do you think, she would be disgusted that you are a girl?" she asked.

Pansy shook her head.

„I've only seen her dating boys. I don't know if she would also be into girls. She wouldn't resent the fact that girls can fall in love with other girls. I'm quite positive about that."

Pansy fumbles with the edge of her blanket.

„So she is not a Slytherin?" Hermione asked.

Pansy nodded to that.

„No. I'm afraid, my secret crush would not appreciate that it is actually me …", Pansy waved a hand at herself „…who is into her. There is no chance whatsoever. There is too much inter house rivalry and too much history. We seemed to be on different sites during the war. I tried to hand over Harry Potter to the Dark Lord, for Merlin's sake."

Hermione squeezed Pansy's hand again.

„Am I right to assume that you did it in the hope to save your nanny?" Pansy nodded and looked down. Hermione continued: „If your love interest is a just little bit open-minded and has the chance to get to know you better, she may not return your feelings but she definitely would appreciate your affections. Otherwise she is not worth it."

Pansy gave Hermione a look that she was not able to read.

„I hope, you are right", Pansy said with a little tremor in her voice. She swallowed. „Enough about me. What about you? How are things with you and Weasley?"

„We broke up."

Pansy raised her eyebrows in surprise.

„You did? Why? It always seemed like it was only a question of time till the two of you would become a couple", she said.

Hermione sight.

„I guess, time is the key factor here. I love him. He loves me. When I finally got to be with him, kissing him felt like being with my brother. He feels the same. We are just not in love with each other anymore."

„When did it happen?"

„The day before yesterday, Monday evening."

Pansy shifted in her cushions.

„Are you OK with that?"

Hermione searched her feelings.

„Surprisingly, yes. It did not change much between Ron and me. Basically we just stopped kissing. We are still friends." Hermione rubbed her face. „What I so miss is actually being with someone. But I don't want to be with anyone just to have someone."

They both fell silent for some minutes. Finally Pansy cleared her throat.

„How did you realize that you are a witch and how did your parents react?" she asked.

Hermione told her that when she had been four years old, she had read a story from a children's edition of _Arabian Nights_ featuring a flying carpet. She had been lying in the living room on a rug. Suddenly the rug took of from the ground and kept hovering in mid air. Her parents had not shown whether they had been freaked out. Her father just had taken her from the rug in his arms. The moment he had her, the rug crashed down on the floor. Many little incidents like that had followed. On her ninth birthday, McGonagall had appeared on their doorstep and explained everything about the magic community and Hogwarts to her parents. The professor had offered that Hermione could start a year earlier firstly because she had shown quite powerful abilities very early and secondly because as someone born in September she would be amongst the older students in the year. Her parents had decided against an early start to have her at home as long as possible. They never had intended to send their daughter to a boarding school. Pansy wondered how different the world would be now, if her parents had made another decision and Hermione had never become the friend of the boy who lived.

###

Finally Madam Pomfrey discharged her from the hospital wing. Pansy was glad that she was able to go to class again. Sitting in the bed all the time had been getting to her. Though she had enjoyed Hermione's visits very much. She had never dared to hope they could have such a friendly and intense contact. And intense it was. Oh Merlin. She had outed herself in front of Hermione. That was quite something else than being out to Luna. On the other hand, she did not want to hide or pretend anymore. She just wanted to go one step at a time. Well, when she was running she would still go one step at a time. At the moment she felt like she was running down hill.

The only thing that had to stay a secret was the fact that Hermione was the girl she was in love with.

Pansy was getting nervous. She was about to return into the school routines. In the hospital wing, she and Hermione had been in a happy bubble, away from everyone. How would Potter or Weasley react if the two girls kept meeting in open sight? There was a friendship in the making between them, was there not? How could she ask Hermione for friendship without literally asking for friendship?

Pansy had entirely missed breakfast in the Great Hall. It was Thursday. She had no classes together with the other girl. By a happy coincidence Pansy crossed Hermione's way when the other girl came out of the Arithmancy corridor into the main corridor leading to the moving stair cases. Pansy called out to Hermione and waved the novel. Hermione smiled and came over to her.

„Thank you for lending me the book. I finished it yesterday after you left. Did Jane Austen write more?"

Hermione took the book and put it away in her bag.

„Yes. She finished six novels in total. They actually are available in our library in the Muggle studies section", she said, looking up.

Pansy was glad to hear that.

„Good. I'd love to read more Muggle fiction." She really did. „I'll get the next one right away." The one book she had read so far had taught her so much. What will happen if she really started reading novels? „I liked talking to you. About _Pride and Prejudice_ and everything else. It meant a lot to me." OK, this was her chance. „I've been wondering, if we can do it again? With the next book?" There. She did it. She had asked.

Hermione gave Pansy a long look. Pansy got more nervous. Had she pushed her luck? Had she asked for too much? Hermione opened her mouth.

„Here you are. I've been looking for you everywhere", Weasley said.

He had just entered from behind a tapestry into the main corridor. Worst timing ever! Would this become a running gag? She and Hermione were talking in the school corridors only to be interrupted by this boy before they had a chance to come the crucial point? Weasley gave Pansy a calculating look and turned to Hermione again.

„Now that we have a free period, Harry and Ginny suggested, that we could learn by the lakeside as long as the weather is still warm enough", he said.

„That sounds good. Just give me one minute. I'll be right behind you", Hermione answered. Weasley did not move.

„Go ahead. I'll be right there", Hermione said. She glared at him.

„No. I don't want you to be alone in bad company in dark corridors", he said, glaring back, tilting his head toward Pansy. Pansy rolled her eyes.

„Ronald. Don't be rude. Go! Now", Hermoine answered. The tone in her voice said that this was not negotiable. Reluctantly, very slowly he started to walk away. Hermione waited until he was out of sight. She looked down for a moment. Finally she met Pansy's eyes.

„Try to find _Persuasion_ or _Sense and Sensibility_ next", Hermione said smiling. „See you at dinner."

Hermione turned to follow Weasley outside. Pansy looked after her till she was out of sight. She chided herself for not having more faith in the other girl. Hermione had already stood up for her twice since the beginning of the school year. Once against Creevey, once against Castorius. Pansy smiled to herself and had little spring in her step as she walked to her next class.

###

On Friday, the Slytherins and Gryffindors settled for the Transfiguration class while Professor McGonagall talked to a group of students at her desk. Hermione watched with amusement how Ron sat beside Neville at the table in front of her. It was much more entertaining sight than Ginny and Harry looking deeply into each others eyes at the neighboring table. Ron fumbled with his book, parchment, ink well, quill. He tried to handle everything at once. It didn't work. He tipped the ink well over and had to clean the hole desk and Neville with his wand. Normally that was Neville's part. Ron had lately become quite clumsy around Neville, Luna, and Hannah Abbott, when Hermione came to think of it. He did say that he had come across someone who was smelling like lavender and that it gave him a fright, didn't he? What if he had found more than one person who smelled like lavender and one of them was a boy? She could imagine that Ron of all people had to chew on that one. Hermione made a mental note to test her theory later.

Hermione looked over her shoulder. Pansy entered the classroom and scanned the tables for an empty seat. Their gazes met. Pansy hesitated. Hermione took her bag from the place beside her. Pansy smiled timidly and sat down. Hermione registered some faint bruises on the other girl's face. Before she could wonder what that was about, Ron turned around to ask for an effective cleaning spell that could handle ink stains on books. He saw Pansy, frowned at her and gave her a sharp nod. Pansy raised an eyebrow at him but nodded back. Hermione told him a spell and hoped that his jerk with the head was meant as a greeting. She already had told Ron off for being rude to Pansy after she had caught up with him by the lakeside the day before. Hermione decided to concentrate on Pansy's bruises for the moment.

"What happened to you? I hope that has nothing to do with, well, you know", Hermione said, gesturing vaguely in the direction of Pansy's chest. The other girl had again closed the collar of her school uniform shirt very high and was wearing the tie very tight. Hermione suppressed the impulse to loosen it. She did not want to invade Pansy's personal space too much.

"Only indirectly. Castorius walked in on me under the shower and saw the scar. She thought that was a great opportunity to bully me. We did not have our wands within reach under the shower. As the mature and oh so well-born young adults that we are we had a hands-on girl fight with pulling hair, smacking, scratching, screeching, and everything."

Pansy told her story in a dry tone. Hermione shook her head in disbelieve.

"Tell me again, why haven't you accepted Slughorn's offer to move into the head girl's quarters for health reasons. It would have been easier for you in so many ways", she said.

"It would have caused only other problems than the ones I have now. Castorius has it in for me. If she wants to pick on me, she will find a reason one way or the other. She wants to be the new first lady of Slythering house", Pansy said. "I came back to school this year because I wanted to stand my ground. This is part of the deal." Pansy searched in her bag for her Transfiguration book. "The other girls had to separate us. What a sight. One of us was naked, one of us in a open bathrobe. Both dripping wet from the running water. Lather everywhere, especially in the eyes, of course." She examined a quill she had just taken from her bag. It was run down. She through it away and looked for a new one. "At least I'm on speaking terms with Daphne and some of the other more liberal Slytherins again. And the pure blood fanatics are showing their true colour."

Hermione turned as she heard the classroom door banging close. While turning she cached Ginny's eye who was smiling at her. Luisa Castorius caused that noise. The wannabe Slytherin queen sat down together with three of her usual companions in the back of the classroom. They started to whisper and to point at Pansy. Castorius sported some scratches on her cheeks.

„Castorius doesn't have a good week, does she?" Hermione said. Pansy followed Hermione's gaze.

"No", said Pansy in a matter of fact voice.

Hermione looked at the other girl again. She smirked slightly. Yes. Pansy had definitely some catlike qualities.

From the teacher's desk McGonagall called for her students' attention.

 

 


	9. Chapter 8 - Falling into a Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of every day life with a trace of cinnamon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little bit longer. I hope that's all right. Please enjoy.

 

On Saturday morning after breakfast Harry, Ginny, and Ron were standing attired in the Quidditch outfits in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. Hermione came down the stairs that lead to the girls' dorms, said hello to her friends, and turned to leave.

„Wait! Where are you going?" Ron asked, causing her to stop in her steps.

„I'm going to the library", Hermione answered. „I've just forgot something upstairs."

„The Quidditch tryouts are today", Ron said.

„I know. You will do fine without me", Hermione said.

„Why don't you wanna watch our Quidditch practice anymore? You have always done so in the past", Ron asked.

Ginny rolled her eyes behind her brother's back. Harry grinned. Did Ron really think that Hermione had done it because she enjoyed Quidditch so much? She hat watched her best friends and one crush the previous years. The perks of sitting in the Quidditch stands had been the opportunity to read at the fresh air and the view of the Scottish landscape.

„Things have changed, Ron. As I have to divide my time between my friends now, I have to set some priorities. In this moment my priority is to go to the library and meet some other friends of mine with whom I can interact instead of watching them zoom around."

Ron shrugged. Than he blushed and scratched his ear.

„Ask Neville and Luna to come and watch the tryouts as well", Ron said. „It would be nice to have them there." He looked around the common room. „Where is Neville anyway? I haven't seen him all morning."

Harry and Ginny gave him a confused look. Hermione was too annoyed with him at the moment to appreciate the little plea in his voice when he had asked for Neville and Luna.

„Ronald, you know exactly who I'm talking about", Hermione said. „I will meet Luna and Pansy. As long as you won't start to be at least polite to her, there will be times when you and I are not hanging out together. It is as simple as that."

Ron opened his mouth. Harry patted him on the shoulder.

„Ron, please don't start. You two - no - we four have been through all this a few times", Harry said.

„Tell me, Harry, are you willing to meet Parkinson?" Ron asked.

„We meet her all the time. We are at school together. She is not my favourite person but I will definitely be polite to her. From what Hermione has told us about her, I don't see why not", Harry said, shrugging. Ron turned to his sister for support.

„I'm actually quite curious to get to know her better", Ginny said. Ron frowned. „Enough of this. As your potential future Quidditch captain, I order you down to the pitch this minute. Tryouts will start soon." Ron grunted, but took his broom. Harry looked a bit shocked at his girlfriend. Hermione laughed. With a wink Ginny added: „Hermione, see you at dinner."

All four went through the portrait hole and followed their separate paths.

###

At the same time in an other part of the castle, Pansy prepared to leave for the library. She smiled to herself. In a few minutes she would see Hermione again.

Since their clash under the shower the day before, Castorius had not tried to pull another stunt. That was not the last she had heard from the wannabe Slytherin first lady. Pansy was sure of that. It was no reason to become careless. Pansy knew that Castorius was only biding her time till her next chance to strike. She must not let her guards down.

Pansy checked her bag. Everything for a library session was there: Her books, quill, and parchment. Her diary. Sense and Sensibility. She wanted to swap the novel for Persuasion.

On her way through the common room Pansy saw that Draco was leaving the Slytherin Dungeon a few steps ahead of her. She called his name. He stopped but did not turn.

„Draco", she said again.

He looked over his shoulder.

„I wanted to thank you for bringing me my things to the hospital wing. And for talking to Hermione."

„Was she able to help you?" Draco asked.

„She put Professor Weasley on the right track. So, yes, she was", Pansy said.

He nodded.

„You are welcome", he said.

Draco left. Pansy waited a few moments to give him a head start. She sighed. That was their first conversation since the screwed up wedding. There was still so much to say.

###

On Sunday afternoon, Pansy and Hermione sat in the senior years common room on two chairs in front of the grand fire place. Hermione marvelled about their relationship. She was still a little bit surprised but she had started to like the other girl. And Pansy had practically asked for her friendship the other day. So here Hermione was and presented the other girl with a parchment full of her clean handwriting. She had started to compile it during their visit in the library the previous had shown quite a hunger for fiction. She said that some of the novels helped her to see some of her own experiences from a different angle. Other novels were just fun to read. Hermione gladly provided her with some food for thought. It was so different from spending time with the boys. Pansy did not want to copy her home work. She wanted to know things and wanted to exchange her thoughts with Hermione. Pansy knew a lot and was curious about the things she did not know. That made their discussions so exhilarating.

„This is for you. I've made a list of novels for you to read. You are a fast reader. Finishing Sense and Sensibility in almost one go is quite an achievement and the number of Austen novels is limited", Hermione said. Pansy laughed. Hermione continued: „I have left contemporary novels for later. They contain too many confusing aspects of modern Muggle life that would only divert from the actual stories." Pansy nodded. „I started with more authors from the Regency Era like the Bronte sisters. North and South is a great book by Elizabeth Gaskell. It will also lead you a little bit through the achievements of the industrial revolution."

Pansy looked up from the list.

„What is the industrial revolution?" Pansy asked. „Has Binns ever mentioned it in History of Magic?"

Hermione shook her head.

„It was a time in Western Muggle history when a lot of technical inventions were made like the steam engine. It was a very influential period. The technological progress exploded from then on in the Muggle world and also effected the magic community. It made the Hogwarts Express possible, for example", Hermione said.

„Right", Pansy said. „How does your list continue?"

„It moves on in time and introduces you to authors of the Victorian Era like Charles Dickens, Wilkie Collins, Henry James, and Oscar Wilde", Hermione said.

Pansy made a little surprised sound.

„I think, I actually know a little bit of Charles Dickens", she said.

„Oh?"

„Marianne read _A Christmas Carol_ to me when I was little", Pansy said looking a bit sad. „I loved it."

Hermione did not pressure the point. Pansy did not seem to be ready to tell her more about the woman she cared for so much. Hermoine waited a moment till Pansy signalled that she was ready to continue with the list.

„I tried to find some classic novels featuring same sex couples. Only Carmilla by LeFanu written in 1872 came to my mind. It is a Gothic novel with a lesbian vampire. That doesn't qualify as a happy lesbian love story. So I didn't put the title on the list. Unfortunately it is the only literary reference for lesbian intercourse I can come up with." Pansy laughed. Hermione shrugged. „I'm sorry. I have to do a little bit more research on that aspect. After all, I have never consciously searched in that direction before."

„It's all right. You have done quite a lot for me already. Thank you", Pansy said.

Hermione waved away the last remark.

„Anyway, the beauty of the list is: Every book is available in our library in the Muggle study section", she said.

Pansy looked impressed.

„Wow, I've underestimated our library. Going in there is almost like a treasure hunt these days", she said. „How is homosexuality accepted in the Muggle world?"

„The acceptance has grown in this century quite a lot. There was a time when homosexuality was forbidden. Oscar Wilde was actually convicted for been gay." Hermione tipped on the name on list. „The laws have changed since then. Little by little a gay and lesbian community has become more visible. Today there are gay bars and even a gay pride parade once a year. Still in the more conservative parts of society homosexuality is not accepted. And in the magic community?"

„I guess, the answer is not simple as well. In pure blood fanatic families homosexuality is not tolerated at all. If my parents had found out about me, they would have disinherited me, thrown me out of the house and removed me from the family tree. That is only the soft version, when you consider that they just let it happen when Lestrange tortured me."

Pansy paused. Hermione let her continue in her own time.

„When you go to the library you can find references to same sex love in every section: Magical Law, History of Magic, Charms, Transfiguration. I bet, there is something in the Potions section as well that I've not found yet. Nevertheless, there has never been a time in our history when homosexuality was forbidden. The books of Magical Law only contain the marriage rituals for woman and woman, man and woman, man and man. The most famous lesbian in our history was Helga Hufflepuff and her unrequited love for Rowena Ravenclaw. There are conceiving spells for same sex couples in the Charms and Transfiguration sections." Pansy took a deep breath. "For example, in 14something a conceiving spell for women was invented that caused a temporary sex change in the lower region of one of the two female participant of the procreative act. Ironically enough it was invented by a pure blood fanatic gentlewoman in need. It was a period when pure blood men were scarce due to a wide spread vendetta amongst the families, especially the descendants of the three Peverell brothers. A lot of gentlewomen gave one for the team." Pansy waved a fist to emphasize her words. „This course of action was considered to be necessary to insure the survival of some of the oldest bloodlines." Pansy rolled her eyes. She told the last part in the dry voice she already used to recount her clash with Castorius. With an afterthought she added: „It was a Parkinson woman who invented the spell. Patience Pellegrina Parkinson to be exact."

„Puh, the Parkinson women are quite something", Hermione grinned. Pansy swatted her with the list on the arm. She couldn't help but grin, too.

###

During the following week, Pansy and Hermione fell into nice routine where they spent some time together every day. They sat together in the classes they shared, or talked during dinner, sometimes learned together in the library, or the senior years common room. Often Luna joined them. Harry stuck to his word and said hello to Pansy in class. So did Neville only he still eyed her suspiciously. Ginny exchanged some small talk with her. Ron managed a nod of acknowledgement when he saw her. It looked as if he had a cramp in the neck. Pansy always answered with a raised eyebrow. Hermione thought that it was still a good idea to divide her time.

On Friday, the two of them walked together from the Transfiguration classroom to the moving stair cases. Hermione had a free period and wanted to prepare for next tutoring lesson with the first years. Pansy had to go outside to the greenhouses for Herbology. She wanted to meet Luna in the entrance hall. The Syltherins shared that lesson with the Ravenclaws.

They had to walk through a smaller corridor to get to the main corridor. In one dark corner they saw a couple kissing - two six year girls, one from Ravenclaw, one from Gryffindor. Pansy's steps slowed a bit. She caught Hermione's eye and shrugged.

„You know, Luna told me that there were quite a lot gay couples around. She is right. Somehow I cannot see anything else anymore", Pansy said with a last longing look a the couple. „Anyway, have you already written the essay for Professor Weasley's next lesson?"

Hermione went along with the change of subject but wondered if Pansy felt lonely sometimes. She was unhappily in love and her dating prospects were not good. Almost everybody still seemed to see her as the head girl from the Carrow regime. They did not see this graceful and intelligent person that was walking beside her. Would a date really cheer Pansy up? Somehow the idea sat not well with Hermione at all. She could not see Pansy with any girl who was attending Hogwarts at the moment. No one was suitable. Not even close.

Who was her secret love interest anyway? According to Pansy, her attempt to hand over Harry to Voldemort made all chances impossible. Maybe it was Ginny. No one else in the world would be more unforgiving than his girlfriend who loved him almost all her life. Pansy had changed her attitude during the last school year and in a way had helped Ginny and the DA. It must be Ginny. It was only logical. Poor Pansy. In this case, she had no chance at all to have a happy end.

Something stung Hermione a little while she thought about Pansy's situation. What was it?

###

One by one, Pansy worked her way through Hermione's list of recommendations. First she had finished five of six Austen novels, than she turned to the Bronte sisters. Now, one week later, she was reading _North and South_. Pansy could easily fit her new hobby into her daily routines. She had already heard most of the lessons the previous year. Defense against the Dark Arts was the greatest exception as last year only Dark Arts had been taught.

Currently she came from the Charms classroom and walked in the direction of the Library. She, Hermione, and Luna had arranged to meet there after their last lessons of the day. Pansy read while she walked. Somehow she could not lay North and South aside. On the way to the library there were a few obstacles, but Pansy knew Hogwarts so well. She already had integrated the new road blocks and pit falls in her paths through the castle. Pansy did not need to decide between walking and reading. Automatically, she let staircase that got stuck in mid swing go by and walked the long way to the next landing. Pansy skipped the trick step in the staircase she actually took. She tapped the door with the squeaky hinges with her wand instead of using the handle. It opened smoothly and quietly. Pansy silently entered the corridor leading to the library.

Pansy heard some giggling in her back and swung around. Luna, Hermione, Longbottom, and she-Weasley - no!- and Ginny followed her through the door. Pansy knew from Hermione and Luna, that Ginny did not share her brother's resentments against herself. She had to get used to use the red-haired girl's first name.

Luna and Hermione were the ones who giggled. Ginny looked impressed and Longbottom simply dumbfounded.

„See, Neville, I told you so", Luna said with her airy voice.

Neville groaned. Ginny burst out laughing.

„I feel like I've gone through some test", Pansy said.

Hermione looked at Longbottoms's face and giggled.

„You have. I'm proud to tell you, that you have passed with an O", Ginny said, whipping away some tears.

„We have been following you since the moving stair cases. On the Hogwarts Express, I have voiced a theory to Neville, which he didn't believe. The way you moved through the castle just now demonstrated that I was right", Luna said.

„What was your theory?" Pansy asked.

„That you know your way through the castle very well. But last year, when you were on patrol, you hit every squeaky door and floor board, sunk often into the trick steps and talked so loudly into the corners that transported sound so well through the castle. We were always warned in time during our nocturnal DA actions. My conclusion was: You helped us."

Of course. Naturally it was Luna, who saw through her smoke screens.

„Yes. Only the Creevey brothers just didn't take the hint", Pansy said dismissively. „They were definitely not suited to step into Fred and George Weasley's foot steps."

Ginny laughed. Neville mumbled something about Professor Sprout and green house, and left hurriedly.

„I guess, he must digest the shock", Hermione said.

„What are you guys up to?" Ginny asked.

„Potions homework", Hermione said.

„Mind, if I join you? Harry and Ron are not the best learning partners", Ginny said.

Luna and Pansy nodded. All four of them entered the library.

###

„There is something I always have wanted to ask you", Pansy said, closing Emma. She finally was able to lay her hands on the book. „Why are these balls such a big deal in the Austen novels?"

Hermione looked up from the essay she was writing. They sat in their favourite seats in the senior years common room. A dish with cookies and two tea cups sat on a table before them. It was just the two of them. Luna was somewhere else busy with her head girl duties and Ginny held Quidditch practice. No one else was in the room.

Hermione scrunched up her nose while thinking about the answer.

„Well, back than, the conventions were very strict in respect to the interaction of the sexes. Unmarried young men and women were not allowed to talk to each other unless they were properly introduced. Preferably they were in the company of a chaperone when they talked. A ball was a great opportunity to be introduced to other young people, which means: future spouses. The best chance to talk privately, to flirt, to touch was during a dance."

Pansy looked thoughtful.

„That sounds complicated. Imagine talking while waltzing", she said. „The thought alone makes me dizzy. There are too many things happening at once."

Hermione laughed.

„They didn't dance like us at the Yule Ball", Hermione said. She stood up. „Come one."

She pulled Pansy to her feet and placed her at a small distance.

„A couple stood face to face in a line or a circle with other couples. Every dancer had to follow strictly given figures. The dancing partners hands were allowed to touch very delicately." Hermione hold out a hand. Pansy took it. „And they moved closer to each other and away again."

Hermione demonstrated some basic positions, figures, and movements. She lead Pansy around by the hand. At the end of her explanation she stepped very close in front of Pansy. Hermione was a little bit out of breath from all the talking and moving around. Pansy was blushing furiously. Hermione looked into Pansy's eyes and inhaled deeply. Her heart skipped a beat.

There it was. The trace of cinnamon. Oh Merlin.

###

„Miss Parkinson, may I talk to you for a moment?" Professor Weasley said after she dismissed the class.

„Of course", Pansy answered.

They waited for everyone to leave. Hermione winked at her on her way out. At the edge of her vision, Pansy saw Luisa Castorius fiddling with her bag. Did she really think, she could linger around and eavesdrop? Seriously? Professor Weasley gave her a look and Castorius finally left. Professor Weasley scratched her forehead.

„All right. We better go to my office. We will be undisturbed there", the professor said with a last look at the door.

They climbed the small stair case leading from the classroom to the adjoined office. Professor Weasley offered Pansy the chair in front of her desk and sat her self behind it. The blond women regarded Pansy for a moment.

„Your break down was almost three weeks ago. Please tell me, how has your scar behaved since ?" she asked. „Has anything unusual happened? Have you seen Madame Pomfrey again?"

„I had a routine check up. Madame Pomfrey didn't find anything", Pansy answered. „Well, the scar itches from time to time. Sometimes it even burns a little bit."

Professor Weasley opened her note book. She had filled a few more pages with notes and drawings. There were even some clippings pasted in between the pages of the notebook.

„Can you connect the itching to certain moods, feelings, places, times of the day, or persons?" the professor asked.

Pansy had detected a certain pattern. It worried her. She tried not to show it.

„It happens sometimes when I'm sad or when I feel happy", she said.

Professor Weasley made a note.

„Are these feelings connected to a certain person or certain persons?"

Pansy swallowed. No. This conversation was not heading in that direction, was it? She looked down.

„Miss Parkinson, I know that I ask very private questions. Please believe me, everything you tell me stays with me. And I certainly will not tell Hermione."

Oh Merlin, first Luna, now the professor. Was she made out of glass? Professor Weasley smiled knowingly at her.

„Pansy, I'm part-veela. Veela are creatures of love and have special sense for these things."

Pansy exhaled slowly.

„All right", she said. „Though I can't link the itching and burning exclusively to my feelings for Hermione. Her friendship makes me happy. So does the friendship with Luna. Sometimes it hurts that I can't be with Hermione. She just doesn't return my feelings." Professor Weasley cleared her throat but gestured at Pansy to continue. „Most of the time I'm sad, when I think about Marianne, my nanny who died recently."

„I understand", Professor Weasley said. „So we can say that the curse reacts to you feelings you have for certain persons. Continue to observe yourself closely and try to identify as much details as possible. We will talk next week after class again. Nevertheless, you can come to me any time before that if necessary."

###

Hermione lay in bed. Her room was dark. She was alone. Ginny was somewhere outside with Harry.

With eyes wide open she starred at the ceiling. The day before she found out that Pansy carried that special trace of cinnamon. Exactly that trace of cinnamon that Hermione had smelled in the Amortentia potion. Since her discovery, Hermione asked herself what it meant. During their break up, Ron had asked: ‚Should a potion tell us who we are supposed to be with?' She had answered: ‚This is not like a prophecy in Divination. The smell of the potion mirrors something that is hidden inside ourselves. We should pay attention to it. It is more like listening to our inner voices.' First of all, it meant that, Pansy had some characteristics Hermione found attractive. Nothing more. Nothing less. Only some characteristics? Pansy was intelligent, hungry for knowledge, feisty, easy to talk to, passionate, protective, and so many other things. She was beautiful. Hermione loved to listen when she talked. She could go on like that forever.

Ah, who was she kidding? Hermione was so in love with the other girl. She was thinking about her all the time. It started during the battle, lasted over the summer, and never stopped. Without her noticing, Hermione was slowly falling for her with every homework session, with every talk they had, with every look they shared, with every touch of their hands.

There was one catch. Hermione did not mind that Pansy was a girl, or that she was a Slytherin, or their rocky past. Pansy had a secret love. It was unlikely that it was Hermione.

Oh Merlin. She was in trouble.

###

The senior years common room got a little bit more crowded in the last few weeks. More and more mixed groups of Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs spend their time in there. The occasional Sytherin apart from Pansy was rumored to be seen.

Pansy and Hermione sat in a love seat by the fire place. Pansy was glad that they had some alone time without Luna or Ginny. Crookshanks lay on his back on Hermione's lap. He enjoyed a thorough belly rubbing. Pansy envied him. Just a little bit.

She suppressed a yawn. Images of Lestrange had haunted her in her sleep all night.

„Tough night again?" Hermione asked.

Pansy nodded. She wished she was in a different house. With Hermione, or with Luna for that matter. Saying ‚Good night' to them and wandering alone into the dungeons to her own unfriendly dorm got harder the more their friendship grew. Being able to have small talk with Daphne and some of her other room mates made things easier but not good.

„Do you have nightmares sometimes?" Pansy asked. „You know, about Lestrange?"

Hermione's hands stopped for a moment. She looked up from her cat and in Pansy's eyes.

„Of course. But Ginny is there for me. At least most of the times", Hermione answered.

Pansy raised her eyebrows in surprise.

„Why? Where is she the other times?" she asked.

Pansy let her gaze drop again and watched how Hermione's hands continued to wander through that thick red cat fur. Crookshanks rumbled. A purr was something for kittens. This was a grown up thing.

„She sneaks away to be with Harry", Hermione said.

Crookshanks rolled around and rubbed his head against the hand that was petting him.

„Of course", Pansy answered.

The cat sniffed in Pansy direction, looking at her with bright eyes.

„Do you have nightmares, too?" Hermione asked.

Crookshanks pawed at Pansy's hand. One pair of hands to pet him was not enough.

„Yes."

Pansy surrendered to his pleading. She scratched Crookshanks between the ears. Hermione grinned at her cat.

„How do you deal with them? I guess, your room-mates don't offer much comfort", she asked Pansy more solemnly.

Pansy let her hand wander over the cats body, too. Sometimes her hand and one of Hermione's crossed in their tracks. Hermione let her fingers brush over Pansy's skin.

„It helps me to read. _Pride and Prejudice_ was the most soothing novel so far", Pansy said.

Crookshanks wandered over to Pansy's lap and presented her his belly. Pansy accepted the invitation.

„Do you want it back?" Hermione asked.

Crookshanks pawed at Hermione with one of his hind legs. Hermione moved a little bit closer to Pansy to be able to oblige him. Their shoulders and arms were touching. Pansy's heart pounded. All her being floated into that region of her body. She barely registered the itching of her scar.

„You don't need it?" Pansy finally managed to say.

Hermione tilted her head and gave Pansy that small smile.

„Its yours. I'm gladly giving it to you."

###

They had dinner together in the Great Hall. On Thursdays it was often the only time they had a chance to see each other. She did not share a class with Hermione. The other girl had no break. In addition to her own classes, she had to tutor the junior years in Transfiguration in the afternoon periods. It was Pansy least favouritism day of the week. For Hermione it was a very exhausting day. Last Thursday after dinner, Pansy had found her sleeping peacefully on stack of books in the library. Pansy did not have the heart to wake the other girl. She just had watched her for while. She had been glad to be there. Castorius had been sneaking around.

„I've always meant to ask you. When is your birthday?" Hermione asked. She split the last portion of the shepherd's pie on their plates. Pansy thanked her.

„30 October", Pansy said.

„All right", Hermione answered.

They started to eat. Ginny sat beside Hermione.

„Ginevra Molly Weasley. Where have you been all night? You have been avoiding me all day, too", Hermione said to the new arrival. Ginny leaned forward to get a better look at Pansy.

„Don't let Hermione Jean Granger ever know your middle name, Pansy", Ginny said, glaring at Hermione. „She will only use it against you when she is angry with you. This is most unpleasant, especially when Mione is normally calling you by your nickname. Is Pansy short for something?"

Did Ginny just call her Mione? That sounded nice. It suited Hermione. It sounded so much softer than the full name.

„No. I don't know what my mother was thinking. I know, pansies are quite nice flowers, but most people have the other, more colloquial meaning in mind, when they hear it."

Hermione shook her head. Beside her, Ginny started to compile her evening meal.

„I don't. And pansies are quite nice flowers", Hermione said. With a smirk she added: „So, tell me. What is your middle name, Pansy?"

Hermione gave her that small smile Pansy loved so much. Ginny giggled. Pansy tried desperately to resist that look in Hermione's eyes.

„Pansy Patricia Parkinson is my full name", she said a little bit deflated. Had she no self control around the other girl? Ginny made a comical grimace of defeat.

„In your family runs the letter ‚p'", Hermione said grinning.

„You have no idea", Pansy said. „My mother's maiden name was Prewett."

„Are you serious? My mom is a Prewett too", Ginny said.

„Oh? They are probably cousins of some degree. I don't know. My mother burned away her side of the family in the Parkinson chronicles and never talked about it", Pansy said.

„Maybe my mother can tell me more", Ginny said.

At the far end of the table, Castorius and a Slytherin boy sat down. On their end, Luna joined them and sat on Pansy's free side.

„How is Castorius treating you these days?" Hermione asked.

Pansy looked down the table.

„She pretends to ignore me. It is like the quite before the storm", Pansy said. „She still tries to be Slytherin's new first lady. As if. Slytherin House is not a united front anymore since the war is over. Only very few follow her lead. A lot of us don't like her attitude. She even lost popularity with some of the hard core pure blood fanatics. She lost too much house points with her attitude."

Luna scanned the table for something.

„No pudding tonight?", she asked. Than she turned to Pansy. „I've just caught Dennis Creevey. I know now why he was so vexed that you had his photograph of Hermione the other day."

„His what of me?" asked Hermione.

„What was he up to?" Pansy asked at the same time. Luna seemed to have heard only Pansy's question.

„It turned out that he tried to make some money with his brother's photo album. A small scale version of the chocofrog cards. He had a collection of photos from your second to your sixth year. Every collection contained three single portraits of Harry, one of Ron and one of Hermione, and five group shots. Pansy, the photograph you had at the beginning of the year, was the only single of Hermione from the sixth year."

Hermione gave Pansy a long, thoughtful look. Pansy did not dare to look her directly in the eyes. Luna continued her story while filling her plate.

„He prepared a small album with places to paste in the photos and made little packages with a random choice of six photos. His customers have bought on album and some of the photo packages. They have started to negotiate with each other when they needed a certain image. Creevey calls it the Panini principle for some reason."

„You are kidding me!" Hermione said. „Where is he now?"

Pansy was relieved that she did not ask further questions why Pansy had chosen a photograph of her.

„He is with the headmistress", Luna said.

„How did you get him?" Pansy asked. She wanted to direct the conversation further away from the tricky subject.

„He was arguing with some of his customers. They demanded a collection for the seventh year as well and he said that he needed time for getting a camera and taking the photographs", Luna said. „Not very subtle."

„He never has been", Pansy said. „Maybe Madame Pomfrey has something left for him to clean."

###

Hermione and Pansy stood between the shelves of the library. They were searching for a book they needed for their Transfiguration homework. Again Hermione noticed how high Pansy's collar was set and how tight her tie was bound. She raised her hand and loosened the tie and the collar. Pansy inhaled sharply and looked at her with wide eyes.

„Don't worry. No-one can see a thing", Hermione said.

She let her hands fall lightly over Pansy's shoulders. Pansy blushed. They stood for a moment longer looking into each others eyes before resuming the search.

###

Potter and Weasley walked before Pansy into the Great Hall. She could not help but listen to what they said.

„What I don't understand is, Snape was supposed to defend the students against the influence of You-Know-Who. The Carrows ran around the school and taught the students dark magic and allowed them to use the Cruciatus Curse. What did Snape to prevent that?" Weasley asked Harry.

Oh Merlin. Was there anything that could stop that boy from bitching about Slytherins?

„You really think that Snape did nothing to protect us, Weasley? It is true, he was not able to keep away the Carrows from school. But he intervened as much as he could and case by case he was successful", Pansy said. Weasley and Potter spun around.

„Enlighten me than. What did he do?" Ron asked, challenging her.

She felt her temper rising. That was never good.

„First of all, the Cruciatus Curse is only one out of three. Thanks to Snape it was the only one practised at Hogwarts", Pansy said. „One case where he prevented the use of the Imperius Curse is very close to you."

That did it.

„And who might that be?" he asked. He was pale as a sheet.

„They planned to send your sister back to your family under the Imperius Curse. I don't know to what end. Perhaps to spy on your family or even worse", Pansy said. On her other side she heard a gasp. There stood Ginny and Hermione.

„I'm sorry", Pansy said to Ginny. Ginny shook her head. She was as pale as Ron. Pansy was angry with herself that she allowed Weasley to ignite her temper. What a verbal blow for Ginny!

„How did the Carrows plan to do it?" Ginny asked.

„They first had the idea after you broke into the headmaster's office", Pansy said. „They were furious that Snape insisted on punishing you himself. They waited for the next opportunity in vain. Snape had kept a close eye on you. You were lucky that you didn't return to school after the Easter break."

„Puh. I feel a little bit sick right now", Ginny said. „Thanks for handing us to Snape and not the Carrows after you caught us." She swallowed. „I'll skip dinner and take a walk outside."

Ginny left the Great Hall without further ado.

„Yes. Thank you, Parkinson, I guess", Weasley said. „Ginny wait. I come with you."

Weasley ran after his sister.

„Wow, this is the first time that he ever has skipped a meal", Harry said. „Do you think we should follow them, Hermione?"

„No. Let brother and sister have a little privacy", Hermione said.

Potter nodded.

„I think, I need something to strengthen me now", he said. „Come on, girls. Let's have dinner."

###

Pansy munched a cookie while reading a novel. The four girls sat around a table with a cookie dish in the middle. The other three were talking. Pansy had only three pages left in _The Women in White_ by Wilkie Collins.

"Pansy! You've eaten all the chocolate cookies!" Hermione complained. "You are an only child, aren't you?"

Pansy blushed.

"This is your doing. You connected reading stories with eating chocolate in my mind", Pansy said smiling.

Hermione glared at her.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I didn't realize that this was the last one", Pansy said. Would she ever be able to resist this girl? Luna ordered some more cookies by directing her words at the cookie bowl. Hermione reached for one of the new chocolate cookies. Ginny snatched it away under her fingers.

"You are an only child, too, Mione", said the youngest sister of six bottomless pits. "That you are."

Hermione looked exasperated at her red-haired friend. Ginny bit into the cookie.

"Hmmmm!"

All four started to laugh.

The door of the common room opened. Daphne Greengrass stepped in and told Pansy that Professor Slughorn wanted to see her in his office as soon as possible. Daphne left again.

„Do you have an idea of what this is about?" Ginny asked.

The three other girls looked at her with concern. Pansy's mind raced. The image of Dryground floated into her mind.

„I think, I do. What day is today?" Pansy said.

„Wednesday", was Luna's answer.

„I meant the date", Pansy said a little bit impatient. She had a bad feeling about this.

„21 October", Hermione said.

Pansy tried to remember the date of Dryground's visit. It was a day after Hermione's birthday.

„The thirty days are over. This must be about Marianne's will", Pansy said.

Hermione put a hand on her shoulder.

„Do you want me to come with you?" she said.

„I don't know", Pansy said.

She really did not know. Hermione took their bags.

„OK, I will come with you. Let's go."


	10. Chapter 9 - The Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione learns about Pansy's side of the story.

Yet again Pansy listened to another Ministry of Magic bureaucrat droning through formalities. This time it was an almost colourless woman, an advocate from the legal department. They were sitting together with Professor Slughorn in his office. Pansy didn't bother to remember the woman's name. The advocate read out Marianne's will, at least the part that was a legal document. The will stated that Pansy was the only heir. She was now the owner of a small cottage somewhere in South England. A sum of money was added to her starting funds for the time after school. The cottage could wait. It was magically secured by Ministry of Magic wards until Pansy was able to inhabit it, if she wanted to.

All that did not matter. Pansy clutched the most important thing in her hands. It was a letter Marianne had written to her the same day she made her will a few years ago. It came with the legal document. Pansy had to wait till the formalities were over before she was able to read it in private. How was it possible that this woman had got such a monotonous voice? Was she related to Binns?

Pansy was glad that Hermione had insisted on coming with her. The other girl was waiting outside. To know that she was there was enough for Pansy to keep calm.

Finally it was over. Pansy stood up, went through the motions of saying goodbye, and stepped outside. She closed the door of Slughorn's office, leaned against, and exhaled heavily. Pansy searched for Hermione's eyes. The other girl met her gaze. Pansy pushed off from the door, took Hermione's hand hand ran with her back to the common room they had left half an hour ago. It was dinner time. It would be empty.

###

_1 September 1996_

_Dearest Pansy, my little girl,_

_I have been thinking about you, my little blossom, ever since your parents separated us and banned me from Parkinson Park. I'm still not sure, why they did it. Your parents knew that I'm Muggleborn when they first hired me. I don't know, why it became an issue when you turned nine years old. All I know is that Lucius Malfoy had visited the day before._

_At first I tried to send you messages or letters till I received a warning from your father threatening to hurt you if I did not stop. Your family looks back on a bloody history of defending their pure-blood line against the slightest threat. I believe that he is capable of keeping up the old ways and hurting his own daughter. With a breaking heart I realized that my attempts to get in contact with you would only put you in a tight corner or would even endanger you. So I backed down for the sake of your safety and did not even try to reach you while you where at school. Your parents are in alliance with the Malfoys, the most influential family of dark wizards that has managed to roam free in the magic community. They would have learned about any contact between us one way or the other._

_Over the years I tried to get a glimpse from a distance of how you grew up. In disguise I saw you entering the Hogwarts Express every year like I did today. You were together with the Malfoy boy. I also scanned every newspaper and magazine to detect a glimpse of you. I've found them during the year of the Triwizard Tournament. I'm looking at a photograph of you as a member of Umbridge's inquisitorial squad that was published in the Daily Prophet a few months ago._

_My heart aches. Oh, what have they done to my beautiful girl? I'm writing my will now and hope so that one day you will be independent from your families fortunes. It will probably make no difference. With or without my help, you have it in yourself to become the strong and beautiful person I know you to be._

_Someday we will see each other again. Until then I will listen to every news, every rumour, and hope to be able to get to you in time to prevent any madness that your parents have in mind for you in the future._

_You will always be my little blossom. What ever happens, please know that I will always love you._

_Yours_

_Marianne_

Pansy pressed the letter to her heart with one hand and covered her eyes with the other hand. She felt the tears welling up behind the eyelids. No, she would not cry. She never cried in company. Pansy set her jaw and breathed heavily.

An arm snaked around her shoulders. Pansy tensed up. She knew it was Hermione. The other girl sat beside her in their favourite love chair in front of the fireplace in the common room. Pansy straightened up without removing the hand from her eyes. Hermione moved closer and embraced her with both arms. Pansy heard soothing words, felt the tenderness of a touch, smelled Hermione's scent - a little bit of vanilla, a little bit of aniseed, a little bit of cardamom. A little bit of singed hair? Never mind. Pansy gave in. Once, just for once Pansy wanted fall into the comfort of Hermione's embrace. She rested her head on the other girl's shoulder. The tears fell. There was no way of stopping them. Hermione held her close to her body. She stroked Pansy's hair and kissed her forehead. They sat like this for a while.

Luna returned from the Great Hall with a little lunch package for the two of them. And pudding. She sat in a single chair, waiting, humming a little tune.

Pansy slowly calmed down. She felt drained. She wanted to fall asleep in Hermione's arms. Just for a moment. Before she let that happen, Pansy rubbed her face shortly and leaned back into the back of the love chair. She gave Hermione a little thankful smile. Hermione withdrew her arm, but stayed close to Pansy.

„Do you want to talk about her?" Hermione asked after a while.

Pansy gave her the letter to read. Luna kept humming to herself. After what seemed like an eternity, Hermione looked up and handed the parchment back to Pansy. She cleared her throat. Luna fell silent.

„My mother gave birth to me, placed me in Marianne's arms, and went back to business as usual." Pansy sighed. „This sounds like the beginning a story about my awful childhood. It's not. The first few years of my childhood were great. I had Marianne. I saw my parents only during meals and on holidays. We didn't interact much. Marianne was the one who raised me. She read good night stories from Beedle the Bard to me and other stories. Only recently I realized that a lot of them must have been written by Muggles. Anyway, she kissed my knee better when I fell down. She was the one who explained the world to me. Marianne was the one who told me, that I was beautiful and special. I loved her. I always believed that she loved me, too. When I turned nine, my parents took that away from me." With regret she looked at the letter in her lap. She added very quietly: „I never should have doubted her."

One stray tear rolled down her cheek.

„You were nine years old, Pansy", Hermione said. She laid one of her hands on Pansy's thigh, presenting the palm, fingers slightly open. Pansy put one of her own inside the offered hand. Slowly they interlaced their fingers.

„What happened?" Luna asked, her eyes fixed on Pansy. She had never seen the blond girl so attentive. Pansy squirmed in her seat. This was her worst memory, the memory a dementor would call to torment her. Pansy pinched the bridge of her nose. She had never talked about it before. It hurt. But it helped to talk about it with her friends. No more hiding.

„On my ninth birthday, my parents called Marianne into my father's study. They had a big row. I heard them arguing in loud voices but couldn't understand a word. My father made sure, that it was impossible to eavesdrop." Pansy nodded at the letter."Now I know, why they were arguing. Anyway, at some point my mother came out of the study and locked me into my room. I shouted and hammered at the door for hours. A house elf let me out at dinner time. I ran to Marianne's room. It was empty. Her things were gone. There was no note, nothing. At the dinner table my parents called her a Mudblood, a traitor, and a filthy liar. They said, Marianne had to leave because they wanted no stains on the House of Parkinson. They never spoke of her again."

Hermione squeezed Pansy's hand. Her free hand flew to her chest.

„For months I waited for a letter from her. I sneaked into our owlery almost every day and tried to send her a message. I never got an answer. I never knew if she had a home or a family outside of Parkinson Park. For me she was family. She belonged there. After six months I gave up. I was hurt. I felt abandoned and believed that she had forgotten about me. I haven't seen her, spoken to her, heard from her. There was no contact till the bloody wedding day." Pansy swallowed. „When I managed the auction of Parkinson Park, I found her letters together with mine among my father's documents. Only Merlin knows why my parents kept them."

Pansy rubbed her chest with her free hand. Hermione and Luna looked at each other but they did not interrupt her.

„After Marianne was gone, my mother took charge of my education as the off-spring of an old pure-blood family. At first I was mutinous. She answered with draconian punishments. I had means to oppose her. A nine year old girl without any magical training and no one to turn to against a fully educated dark witch. I had nothing to fight with. My only ally was gone. At some point I gave in and adapted to her education. It was a survival strategy. I became quite the overachiever, as you know probably all too well." Pansy paused. Tears threatened to fall again. „Oh Merlin, Marianne saw the interviews with Rita Skeeta or the articles about the inquisitorial squad under Umbridge's regime over Hogwarts!"

Pansy felt shame rising in her chest. She tilted her head slightly towards Hermione.

„Have I ever said sorry to you for my behaviour?"

Hermione tilted her head towards Pansy. Their foreheads almost touched. Pansy looked at Luna. The blond girl nodded slightly.

„I think we are quite beyond the point where an apology is necessary. Thank you, anyway", she said. With a small smile she added: „I think, you already paid quite a bit for your actions in the inquisitorial squad with the antlers that Fred and George gave you as a goodbye present."

Pansy could not help but smile back despite the grave mood. She was in awe that the other girls found it in them to be her friends and that they did not turn their backs on her.

„Of course you remember that one", she said and shoved Hermione lightly with the shoulder. The other girl shoved back. They grinned at each other for a moment. Hermione became thoughtful again.

„What was it that caused the change of your heart?" she asked.

Pansy swallowed. This was thin ice. She wanted to tell Hermione the truth without giving away that she was the one who Pansy loved. She sighed. There was no use. She had to get on with her story. Her hand became sweaty. She wanted to withdraw it from Hermione's grasp. The other girl started to stroke her hand with the thumb. Pansy closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

„Well, I fell in love. It started with a key moment at the hight of my career in the inquisitorial squad. I realized that I was in love with another girl. She was Muggle born. I panicked. There was no way that I could be gay or in love with a Muggle born. One of the two was bad and worse. The combination was a catastrophe. My parents never would have accepted something like that. I thought that they would disinherit me, through me out of the house, and call me a disgrace of the Parkinson family. So I did what helped me survive in the past years. I kept up the façade of the pure-blood good girl and set out to become Draco's girlfriend. We became a couple the same day. It was expected of me anyway. By my family, by the other Slytherins, by the Malfoys."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

„And Draco?"

„I don't think that he ever fancied me. But he had to meet the same expectations like I did. He didn't mind going out with me. We were friends. In our situation that wasn't too bad. Then your adventure at the Department of Mysteries happened. The magic community knew that the Dark Lord was back. Everything changed for Draco. His father was arrested and in disgrace with the Dark Lord. Draco was in a tight corner himself."

Hermione looked at their joiners hand but did not let go.

„Did you know what he was chosen to kill Dumlbedore?" she asked.

No. Pansy had not known that. Would Hermione and Luna believe her? She had to try.

„In all honesty, no. I really didn't. I've never seen his dark mark. I only saw him naked at the end of our fifth year a few times, if you know what I mean." Pansy noticed that Hermione shifted uncomfortably beside her. Still, the other girl did not move away. „He didn't have it back than. He must have been branded sometime during the summer vacations. At the beginning of the sixth year he did make allusions that he was bestowed with a task by the Dark Lord. I thought, he was just boasting to divert from the fact that his father was in Askaban. What kind of task could that be if there was one at all? Spying on the students, maybe? I didn't think he could cause serious harm. How naive I was! I didn't believe him to be an assassin."

Pansy searched Hermione's eyes for any reaction to her last revelation. Hermione looked back at her with concern. There was no sign of disbelieve. Pansy turned to Luna and meet the same expression in the blond girl's face. She scratched her chest with her free hand.

„Anyway, I didn't pay him much attention. I tried to sort things out for myself. We didn't see each other over the summer. We exchanged letters. Back at Hogwarts, we only acted as the happy couple. I was glad for the cover while minding my own business and he also continued to play along. I think, he was relived to have some kind of distraction from the problems in his life until he got too preoccupied with his schemes."

Pansy paused.

„Being intimate with Draco showed me that I could not bear to live a lie like that for the rest of my life. I was gay and had to brace myself to face the consequences. I was scared shitless. Being myself meant a fall out with my family, with the ones I called friends until then, with the rest of Slytherin House. It took me ages to act on my feelings. I used an opportunity to break up with Draco. The rumours had it, that he went somewhere with two girls during a Quidditch game. I made a scene and ended the relationship. Still I was far away from outing myself let alone approaching the girl I was in love with."

Pansy did not dare to look at Hermione. Instead she sought eye contact with Luna. The blond girl nodded reassuringly.

„In the end I waited too long. Dumbledore got killed. Later the Dark Lord took over the Ministry."

Suddenly Pansy felt blinding anger at her parents, at the Malfoys, at all the Death Eaters.

„How dare they? They killed Dumbledore here on the school grounds. How dare they to force their own children to make such decisions? They tried to force Draco to be an assassin. Draco is a lot of things but he is not a killer. Who does these kind of things?"

Deep breaths. Pansy took deep breaths to calm herself. She had shouted the last sentences.

„With the next Hogwarts letter came the Head Girl badge. The letter was already signed by the Carrows. I knew who they were. I knew, being myself was suicide when they were at Hogwarts. So I decided to reinstall the façade of the good pure-blood girl to survive. This time I tried to offer resistance from within the system. It worked until my parents tried to force me to marry Draco. I simply lost it in front of all the guests. You know the end of the story."

In Pansy's conflicting emotions grief got the upper hand.

„They kidnapped Marianne. She was in danger because she was Muggleborn, because they wanted to get to me. They killed her!" Pansy said, crying.

The grief suddenly mixed with physical pain. It spread like lava from her chest through the rest of her body. It felt like Lestrange was torturing her again. Pansy screamed in agony. She did not want to feel this kind of pain ever again. Pansy barley registered, how Hermione shouted commands at Luna, how Hermione casted a spell over her, how Hermione carried her to the hospital wing.


	11. Chapter 10 - The Hospital Wing again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse strikes again.

 

Out of breath Hermione watched as Madame Pomfrey examined Pansy. The other girl had been almost unconscious while Hermione had carried her to the hospital wing. Now Pansy was squirming on the bed.

What was this curse doing exactly? Hermione had a bad feeling about this. Was Fleur, was she, was anyone able to put themselves into Lestrange's head in order to understand something of her design? As much as Hermione trusted in Fleur's or Madame Pomfrey's abilities in their respective areas of expertise, they were up against the most wicked witch of the century, Voldemort's most loyal follower.

Hermione was so scared for Pansy. In the common room she was able to keep her head clear. She organize everything to bring the other girl as quickly as possible to the hospital wing. She had cast a feather weight spell over Pansy so she was able to carry her, took her own and the other girl's schoolbags and shouted commands at Luna to find Fleur and Ginny. Now Hermione was condemned to just watch and wait. All her worries washed through her. Hopefully Luna was able to find Fleur in time.

On cue Luna came through the door. Alone. Hermione raised her eyebrows at the blond girl. Luna shook her head.

„Fleur was neither in the Great Hall, nor in her office, nor in her quarter", Luna said.

Where in Merlin's name was Fleur? Hermione cursed under her breath. But than an idea struck her. Hermione searched for a suitable happy memory. Her first kiss with Ron? Hermione did not even try that one. The day she learned that she was a witch? Hermione spoke the incantation. Silver fog puffed from the tip of her wand. The day she became friends with Harry and Ron? The result was silver fog that lingered for a moment before it evaporated. Her friendship with Pansy? It was not a clear picture of a specific moment. Instead Hermione tried to bask in the warm feelings she had for the other girl. Expecto Patronum. A bright silver light spread from the tip of her wand and took the form of Benedict, her otter patronus. Benedict playfully floated around her before he settled in front of Hermione on his hind legs. She gave him the message for Fleur and send him off to find the curse breaker. With a last loop in the air he vanished though the cracks of the door.

Five minutes later, the door wings flew open and Fleur came running through. As a professor Fleur wore her hair in a tight plait and was attired in simple dark robes. Now her hair was flying loosely behind her and she was wearing jeans and a button down shirt. Hermione was relieved. As much as it pained her to watch Pansy suffering, she was glad that Fleur was able to see the effects of the active curse. At the bedside, Madam Pomfrey stepped aside to give Fleur a better access to their charge. The healer and the curse breaker started to talk in low voices. Pansy whimpered now and than. Her head fell to the side. Was she looking at Hermione? Hermione was not quite able to make it out from the distance but looked back just in case.

A few minutes later Ginny came in with one of Hermione's pajamas and handed the garments over to her. Hermione had asked Luna to tell Ginny to do so while she was searching for Fleur. Hermione had not the nerve to explain about the wards Pansy had put up around her things and Daphne did not deserve to be caught redhanded being nosy without her being actually nosy but helpful. Luna gave Ginny a little update on the situation. Ginny gave Hermione a one-armed embrace. The redhead inhaled sharply and looked closely at her.

„Is your hair singed, Hermione?" Ginny asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes and fixed them again at Pansy.

„Yes. Slughorn's office is in Slytherin territory. Castorius and some of her cronies saw me standing alone in the corridor and thought they could have a little bit of fun with a single Gryffindor. Well, the joke was on them."

Ginny snorted.

„That girl is unbelievable", Ginny said. „So that's why their hair was bright green and their school uniforms badly patched up." She squeezed her Hermione shortly with her arm. „Well, keep me posted. I better go back to Gryffindor Tower and stop Ron and Harry to go on a rescue mission. They were worried when you did not turn up at dinner and saw the Slytherins. It was hard enough to keep them in place while we were eating."

Hermione and Luna waved goodbye to Ginny and kept watching the activities at the other end of the ward. Fleur held her hand over Pansy's chest and muttered something. Suddenly her hair stood on end in every direction as if she had put her fingers into a plug socket. Hermione gasped. She thought that she actually saw green sparks of magic in the blond mane. The curse breaker jerked her hand away and jumped backwards. Pansy arched her back and gave out a little cry. Fleur tried to flatten her hair. She looked around beckoned to Hermione and Luna to come over. When they arrived at the bedside, they saw that Pansy was in pain but she was conscious. Sweat was running down her face and soaked through the shirt of her school uniform. She locked eyes with Hermione. Hermione put down the school bags. Their hands came together on their own accord. Pansy seemed to calm down a bit. Madame Pomfrey excused herself and went to her office to find some portion against the pain.

„What were you three doing when the curse was triggered?" Fleur asked.

Luna told the curse breaker about the will and Pansy's emotional roller coaster ride.

„So basically we have the confirmation, that is the curse triggered when you are on an emotional hight about someone who you deeply care about", Fleur said.

Pansy nodded but kept her eyes on Hermione.

„It was the same person as last time. Marianne. Do you think, that is connected to Pansy's feelings for her. She was near Pansy when Lestrange cast the curse", Hermione said.

Fleur and Pansy exchanged a look.

„No. The scar also reacts when I'm emotional about other persons I care about", Pansy said. She averted her eyes and blushed. Hermione wondered. Was Pansy thinking about her unrequited love for her secret crush?

Fleur had to flatten her hair again. Some stray strands started to rise into the air again. There were defiantly green sparks of magic. They made little crackling noises.

„I agree. The curse is connected to Pansy's emotions rather than the person she is emotional about", Fleur said. She turned to Pansy. „We have to pinpoint and name the exact emotions. So far you had two extreme reactions from the scar. Both times you were grieving after receiving distressing news about your nanny. Have you been able to make out how exactly the scar reacts when you have other feelings, especially happy feelings about someone?"

„Not exactly. It is still not clear", Pansy said.

Pansy fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Hermione knew that Pansy had consulted with Fleur about the curse after the DA lessons. But Pansy had not talked about it much. Apparently Fleur was searching in a specific direction. What had that wicked women done to Pansy?

Madame Pomfrey came back with a portion and gave it to her patient. Pansy drank it with little sips. Finally she looked back at Hermione. Hermione tried to give the other girl a reassuring smile. Pansy timidly smiled back. Fleur lay a hand on her shoulder.

„I implore you to observe yourself carefully", Fleur said. „It is of the utmost importance."

Pansy nodded. Her eyes turned sad. She opened her mouth without saying anything. Hermione had an inkling what the question was that Pansy did not ask.

„Have you any idea how to break it?" Hermione asked the curse breaker.

Fleur took a well used notebook out of the back pocket of her jeans. She waved it.

„I have a list of possible ways. I need to narrow it down to one now", Fleur said. She looked at Pansy. „This is a nasty curse. Whatever the counter curse is, it will be painful for you. Lestrange made sure that there is no easy way out. You just saw it a few minutes ago. I tried to feel the magic at work and it fired back at me. The curse has strong defense mechanisms. Even a slight attempt to break it with for example a simple Finite Incantatem can cause serious damage. I really have to be sure of what I'm doing." She cleared her throat. „I may have only one attempt to break it."

Hermione shuddered. She did not want to think about the outcome in case the one attempt failed. Madam Pomfrey tapped her fingers impatiently on the food end of Pansy's bed.

„For now we have to call it a day. It is late and my patient needs rest. I think it best that you stay the night, Miss Parkinson. We will see if you can return to classes tomorrow. I will inform your teachers", Madam Pomfrey said. The healer turned to Luna and Hermione. „Has anyone of you thought about bringing night clothes for her?"

Hermione handed Pansy her pajamas. The other girl took it and looked surprised at her.

„It is one of mine. I hope that is ok. I was worried about you and didn't have the nerve to explain to anyone about the wards around your things", she said. Pansy answered with a tiered but thankful grin. She got out of the bed and went behind a screen to wash herself and change her clothes. Fleur looked at the big watch hanging over the door to Madam Pomfrey's office.

„It is past curfew. Luna is safe because she performing her head girl duties so to speak. But I better bring you to Gryffindor Tower now", Fleur said. „Filch is a in a bad mood today. You don't want to meet him on your own in the corridors."

„Just let me say good-night to Pansy", Hermione answered.

The other girl stepped from behind the screen. The pajamas fit quite well. The trousers were long enough just so. Pansy was a few centimeters taller than Hermione. Only the top was a little bit tight around the chest. Hermione's gaze lingered for a moment.

‚Stop staring', she chided herself silently and shook her head. ‚You do not ogle friends in distress. Especially when that friend is in love with someone else.'

Was she really? Another one of Hermione's internal voiced piped up. Pansy said herself the girl she fell in love with during the fifth year was Muggleborn. That excluded Ginny as a possible object of desire. But was Pansy still in love with the same girl? That was two, almost three years ago. So Ginny was back in the game. Who in Merlin's name was the girl? Hermione sight. It was so much easier to sort out Harry's or Ron's emotional chaos than her own. Pansy gave her a questioning look. Hermione hoped that the other girl had not catched her staring. Hermione smiled back and hugged her.

„Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is Thursday but I will find some time between the lessons and I will come to see how you are", she said. Pansy squeezed her a little bit tighter and nodded. Hermione looked her in the eyes one last time. Pansy seemed so exhausted and sad. Reluctantly both let go. Hermione said good-night to Luna and left the hospital wing together with Fleur.

On their way through the castle Hermione remembered something she had wanted to ask Fleur the whole time.

„Fleur, where have you been? Luna wasn't able to find you anywhere earlier", she said. This was no lesson, this was not the professor she was talking to but her friend who had took care of her in her darkest hour. Hermione felt comfortable to call her friend by her first name and ask her about personal issues. Fleur did not seem to mind.

„I was at Shell Cottage. William is back from one of his trips for Gringotts", Fleur said. „I live in one of the smaller quarters that are equipped for married teachers who have a home outside school. Actually I only sleep in the castle when I have nightly duties here or when William is away. There is a permanent floo connection between my rooms here and Shell Cottage. Only I can use it. Not even William is allowed to come through." Fleur frowned. „I should be instantly alerted when I'm at the cottage in case someone knocks at one of my doors here. I don't know why I missed it." Fleur looked sideways at Hermione. „It was good thinking of you to send your patronus."

Hermione had already tried to figure out how Fleur managed have a full time job as a Hogwarts professor and keep up a happy marriage with Bill at the same time. Of course, magic helped to organize that.

#

Pansy got into bed. Luna took a chair and sat down. With a tilted head she looked at Pansy.

„You went over an important aspect in your story this afternoon", Luna said.

Pansy raised her eyebrows. What was Luna getting at?

„The key moment in your fifth year when you realized you were in love with a girl", Luna said. „I guess that girl was already Hermione, wasn't she? Do you want to complete your story?"

Of course Luna did not miss a thing. Pansy pondered her answer.

„It was the moment we caught you, Ginny, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom, and Hermione while you were trying to break in Umbridge's office. I got hold of her and fixated her while Umbridge was interrogating Potter. She was fighting my restraints. Later she was crying in my arms to outsmart Umbridge. The whole time I thought, that this was so wrong. I didn't want to hold her like that. I didn't want her to fight me. In my head a totally different script unfolded for the situation." Pansy gave a little unhappy laugh. „The sixth year was awful. I had to cope with my confused feelings for her while I had to watch Hermione paining over Weasley. And in-between was Draco."

Luna gave her a soft smile.

„You should start to call Ron, Harry, and Neville by their first names, you know", she said.

„Yes, I guess you are right", Pansy answered. She gave it a try. „Hermione was paining over Ron. It was painful to watch. There. I said his name."

Pansy winked at the blond. Luna laughed her airy laugh. Madam Pomfrey pocked her head out of her office.

„Miss Lovegood, you should go now as well. It is late and Miss Parkinson must try to sleep", Madam Pomfrey called.

Luna stood up and said good-night. Pansy smiled.

„Thanks for asking, Luna. And listening."

###

At midnight Pansy was still wide awake. The scene in the common room had a side effect. Hermione had not only consoled Pansy. Pansy had experienced how it was like to be held by the one she loved. It had been easier to ignore the want for physical contact before she did not know the feeling. She wanted more of that. Even the handholding. If anyone had asked her about handholding in the past, she would have laughed at them. Such a sappy thing to do! But now? Handholding was great. With the right person.

And further down the road? Pansy knew she should not stray that way. Nevertheless, there was something. Had Hermione appreciated her form after she had changed? Pansy rolled her eyes at herself. Certainly not. That was wishful thinking.

But still.

No. She did not want to go near that. Kissing. And stuff. That was out of bounds. Even in her head. Hermione gave her no reason to think that she anything else but straight. Yet again Pansy's mind wandered. It really did not help that she was wearing Hermione's pajamas. A simple white long sleeve shirt and lightly stripped flannel pants were hugging her. They were incredibly soft and smelled like Hermione.

No. NoNoNo. NO!

Oh, great. Now Pansy was thinking about kissing Hermione. And stuff.

Pansy took a pillow and pressed it against her face. She knew, it was going to be a long and restless night for her. She screamgrowled into the pillow.

Damn. She was in trouble.


	12. Chapter 11 - Hogsmeade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pansy's birthday is coming up.

 

The next day Hermione stayed true to her word and visited Pansy before she went down to the Great Hall to have some breakfast with Harry, Ginny, and Ron. Later that she met Luna in the corridors and learned from the blond girl that Madame Pomfrey had released her charge from the hospital wing and that Pansy had asked if the three of them could meet in the library after Hermione's last lesson. Maybe Ginny wanted to join them as well. So this way, the girls fell into their well established rhythm again.

Since Hermione's gaze had fallen on Pansy's forms in her own pajamas, she could not help but notice the other girl more and more, like the colour play in Pansy's iris, the way her hand moved when she wrote something in her diary, how her new Muggle outfits suited her, the way she read novels and ate chocolate at the same time, the way she moved when … well, the way she moved. And yes, her forms. As much as Hermione considered herself as an intellectual person, Pansy managed to awaken her emotional and physical sides.

Hermione wished that Pansy would look back at her the same way. Indeed, sometimes Hermione raised her head while reading, or in class, or during dinner, and caught Pansy's eyes. Did the other girl blush? The blossom of a small hope did not quite conquer the suspicion that Ginny had a grip on Pansy's heart. Hermione never asked who the other girl's love was. She feared too much that she would not like the answer.

Before they knew it, a week had gone by since Pansy's last visit in the hospital wing. The following Wednesday, Hermione and Pansy spent time together in the senior year common room. They were sitting in front of the fire place in their usual love chair. Every one else who came to the common room knew by now that this was their chair. Rumours had already started about the unusual friendship between the former enemies from the competing houses. According to hushed wishers they had a passionate affair, or Pansy was supposed to manipulate Hermione with the Imperius Curse, or Hermione had given up S.P.E.W. and dedicated herself to rehabilitate fallen Slytherins. Hermione could not care less. She had endured worse gossip during the Triwizard Tournament.

Both were doing their favourite things. Hermione was studying. Pansy was reading a novel from the list of recommendations. The other girl had already read almost every title. Hermione had started a new list. At the edge of her vision Hermione noticed that Pansy fiddled with a page in her novel. She knew that fiddling was something Pansy did when she was nervous. Hermione shifted a little bit to get a better view. Yes, she was right. Pansy bit her lip. Once again Hermione wondered how it had ever been possible that she had thought of Pansy's face as pug-like. It was cat-like. Well, obviously it was not Crookshanks-like. Her tom-cat had taken quite the liking to Pansy, though. Currently he was sprawled in a chair by the window and enjoyed the warmth of sunbeams.

It took a few more minutes before Pansy actually started to speak.

„Next Saturday is a Hogsmeade weekend. Do you have plans? I don't know, we could have some butter beer in the Three Broomsticks", Pansy said. „You know, you and me. Maybe with Luna and Ginny, if they are not otherwise engaged."

Hermione watched as Pansy shrunk little more behind her book. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought that Pansy tried to ask her out. It would have been nice, if she had. It was not something that happened a lot to Hermione. Actually, only Victor Krum had taken her out on a real date, if she counted the Yule Ball. Ron just sort of happened. McLaggen definitely did not count. She guessed that most people did not believe the bookish types to have a romantic side. And there was still the unsolved mystery of Pansy's secret crush. Hermione suppressed a sight.

„Thanks for asking. I would love to. Only I have to join you a little bit later in the pub. I have to run an errant first thing in Hogsmeade", Hermione answered.

Pansy looked over the edge of the book and nodded. She frowned but did not comment. It was true. Hermione had to pick up the birthday present she had ordered for Pansy at Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. It was a little bit awkward but she could not help it. The next Saturday was not only the Hogsmeade weekend, it was also Pansy's birthday. The other girl had not mentioned it again since Hermione had asked her. Maybe Pansy did not think that anybody would care or remember? Which was silly because the other girl had remembered Hermione's birthday in September before they even had been on regular speaking terms. Hopefully Pansy liked to acknowledge her birthday. Hermione wanted to surprise her. She had found the perfect gift in one of Scrivenshaft's adds in the Daily Prophet. Only the quill shop did not deliver smaller items to the school for some reason. Maybe the owner wanted to lure the students into the shop and seduce them to buy more with by exposing them to the display of stationary and books? Or the workload was to high for the old couple to wrap up every single item for every student at Hogwarts. ‚Be that as it may', Hermione thought. She had to pick up her order personally.

Neville entered the room and came in a beeline over to Hermione.

„Hermione, you and me. We get a long quite well", he blurted out right away and started to bite his fingernails.

„Yes", Hermione said. A little alarm went of in her head. Beside her, Pansy started to squirm. Crookshanks jumped to his feet, his bottle-brush tail stood strait into the air.

„And you are a girl", he said.

Hermione had a déjà vu. She had to bite down the remark: ‚Well spotted.' Neville was not Ron. Hermione was not his last resort for the Yule Ball. Neville had outgrown his clumsiness. Well, most of the time. But not now. He was a decent but shy guy who did not deserve sarcasm in a moment of vulnerability.

„Uhm, yes. What I wanted to ask you is: Do you want to go Hogsmeade with me? We could have some cake at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, if you like", Neville said.

He blushed as deeply as Hermione. So did Pansy. Hermione noticed that the other girl started to gather her things. What was that about? Before Pansy was able to stand up, Crookshanks jumped on her lab and pressed against her with his whole body. He gave her his rumbling purr.

Hermione had to focus on Neville again. She had to led him down gently.

„Neville, thanks for asking. I have plans already. I'll go with Pansy and Luna", Hermione said. She tried to sound kind. Internally she cried out in frustration. This was the wrong person to ask for a date.

„Oh. Right. Of course", Neville said. He bit his fingernails again. Her turned to leave but stopped in his tracks half way to the exit.

„Have you noticed anything unusual about Ron lately?" he asked.

Hermione tried to keep a straight face. Yes, Ron acted like a puppy around Neville. He had acted around Luna and Hanna Abbott the same way, but had stopped to do so a fortnight ago. Neville was the only one left. That was something going on between Ron and Neville.

„What do you mean?" she asked.

„He is a little bit clingy", Neville said. „He even wanted some time alone with me in The Three Broomsticks on Saturday."

The turn in the conversation bruised Hermione's pride a bit. Again she was a plan B for a date. Only this time Neville wanted to avoid an awkward situation with Ron.

„I'm sorry, Neville. I can't help you there", she said a little bit curtly.

Neville nodded. Deep in thoughts he turned around again and left.

Hermione starred out of the window. Internally she had to lick her wounds a bit. The wrong person had asked her out for the wrong reason. The right person had asked her to join a gathering of friends as a friend. Hermione looked at Pansy. She seemed to be engrossed in stroking the big ginger cat. Pansy's cheeks still sported a deep blush. She avoided to look at Hermione by concentrating on Crookshanks. Pansy displayed the traces of shyness and nervousness that Hermione had noticed on her from time to time. Maybe, just maybe, she had a chance with Pansy. If there really was one, why should she wait for Pansy to make the first step? Considering the amount of novels Pansy was reading, Hermione was positive that the other girl had a romantic side as well and would not mind to be asked out. Hermione decided to observe the girl more carefully, especially her interactions with Ginny. Than she would be in the position to form a plan. Indeed, who said that Pansy had to be the one to take the initiative?

#

When Longbottom - in this situation he had lost the privilege of the first name basis - started to stammer at Hermione, Pansy knew instantly what was coming. She felt the impulse to leave. She had always known that it was inevitable to see Hermione together with Ron. This was the price for becoming at least friends with the Gryffindor girl. She was prepared to be strong enough for that. But than Hermione and Ron had broken up. Pansy was in a happy bubble. She did not have to worry about seeing Hermione with someone else. This bubble was about to burst right into her face and Longbottom of all people was the one to stick a needle into it. Yes, all right, he was a decent guy, but he was no match for Hermione. But who was? Certainly not she, Pansy. It was true, they had become best friends. Though, Hermione would never consider her as a partner or lover. She was straight. Pansy had to keep that in mind. Still, they had a moment from time to time, those kind of moments one did not have with just a friend. Hermione was also more tactile with Pansy than with any of her friends. Pansy felt the loss of a chance burning in her chest to the extend that the skin was itching.

Pansy's mind was racing. She needed to get out of this situation right away. She always could say that she had to consult with Professor Weasley or Madame Pomfrey. Pansy started to gather her things when Longbottom popped the question. Crookshanks hopped on her lab and blocked her emergency exit. She looked down in his yellow and intelligent eyes. The cat seemed to scold her for trying to leave. He was right. If she wanted to be Hermione's friend, she had to stay. Pansy chided herself for being such a wimp. She had been strong enough before, she would be strong enough now. Being able to spend quality time with Hermione was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Pansy was so wound up in her own thoughts that she almost missed how Hermione said no to Neville. Relieve flooded through her. She was thankful that Crookshanks had made her stay. Sometimes Pansy asked herself what that cat knew. She started to bury her hand into the thick fur.

Hermione was deep in thoughts after Neville had left. After a while she snapped out of it. She and Pansy made plans to spend the Saturday together in Hogsmeade.

Maybe, just maybe there was a silver lining.

###

The autumn weather took its toll on people who roamed the streets of the little magical village on this rainy and cold Saturday. Hermione had gone straight to Scrivenshaft to pick up her order and left the little shop without delay. She wanted to go to Honeydukes to get some chocolate for Pansy as well. She was right to leave quickly. Before she turned around the corner, Hermione spotted how Pansy and Luna entered the little shop she had just left.

Hermione grinned to herself and turned around to head in the direction of the sweet shop. She bumped into pedestrian, stumbled, and started to apologize. When she finally regained her balance, Hermione looked up and froze. She was face to face with a girl she had almost forgotten. Under normal circumstances Hermione would have never recognized her again. But the word SNEAK was etched into her skin. Marietta still tried to cover up the little pimples and scars with a thick layer of make up. Madame Pomfrey or anyone else had not been able to get ride of the jinx.

Recognition and angst dawned in the young woman's eyes. Hermione was quite shocked to see that. She never had dreamed that she would provoke such feelings in another person like the terror that she was now facing. Hermione starred again at the five letters in her own handwriting. Unconsciously she scratched the inner side of her left forearm. Marietta did not move. Hermione shook herself out of her stupor, took out her wand, and pointed it at the young woman's nose. Marietta seemed to be at the verge of crying. Hermione cast a non-verbal spell and wrote the offending word backwards into the air. Simultaneously the letters were erased from Marietta's features. The little scars simply vanished. The few pimples looked like they were squeezed out. Than they kind of evaporated. It was not a pretty sight and it looked painful. Marietta whimpered. In the end, the face was unmarked again. Only the make up cover was destroyed. The former Raveclaw student and infamous DA member ran her fingertips over her skin. Still wide eyes she looked at Hermione for another moment and started to run away.

Hermione found a bench in front of the sweet shop and sat down. She was angry with herself and a little bit scared of herself, too. She sat there for long minutes. Hermione took a deep breath, stood up, and entered the shop to buy the chocolate. She was a little bit shaky.

###

Hermione entered the Three Broomsticks. She saw Luna, Ginny, and Pansy sitting at a table in the back. Pansy was talking to Ginny while Luna tried to attract the attention of a waiter. Ginny must have joined the other two in the pub. With a little sting Hermione noticed how friendly her dark-haired and her red-haired friend seemed with each other. In that moment Pansy noticed her and waved her over. Hermione made her way through the masses of students and other pub visitors. The three girls smiled welcoming at her, when she sat down on Pansy's other side. They looked a bit concerned.

„Is everything all right. You look like you have seen a ghost." Ginny asked. „You are as pale as Ron when he sees a spider."

Hermione laughed an unhappy laugh.

„It was not exactly a ghost", she said. „I ran into Marietta Edgecombe. She still got that word written all over her face."

„Who is Marietta Edgecombe?" Pansy asked. „Which word?"

„Don't you remember her? She is the one who told Umbridge about the DA and where to find us", Ginny said. Pansy nodded and blushed. Obviously she had not expected to be reminded of that part of their past. It was the high time of their rivalry. Hermione patted Pansy on the arm reassuringly.

„So, what about her?" Ginny asked again.

Hermione told her friends about the encounter in the streets of Hogsmeade. A waiter interrupted her story shortly and they ordered a round of butter beer and something to nibble. Hermione picked up where she left of. Ginny automatically rubbed the back of her nose when Hermione came to the part when the pimples vanished.

„I mean, yes, I jinxed the parchment with the member list of Dumbledores Armee. I did it with the intent to protect everyone against betrayal. Obviously it had worked", Hermione said, closing her report. „But the jinx had outlived its purpose a long time ago. I didn't intend to mark anybody for live, like someone else did." At her last words, Hermione looked at Pansy. „I didn't think about the long term consequences of the jinx back than." Hermione sighed. „You were a lot wiser than me when you set up the wards around your stuff in your dorm. You made your jinx easy to break and temporary."

Pansy smiled warmly at her.

„Yes, you are sometimes quite the overachiever as well", Pansy said and nudged her with her shoulder. Hermione huffed at her. Pansy continued more serious: „It is true, you overdid with the jinxed parchment. That doesn't mean that your are on the same path as Lestrange. You just corrected your mistake. Knowing you and your sense of justice, I'm quite confident that you will learn from your mistakes and never let it happen again."

Pansy nudged her once more. This time Hermione smiled at her thankfully. The waiter came back and brought them their order. Hermione decided to use the opportunity for a change of subject. It was Pansy's birthday, after all.

#

„So, what were you talking about before I came in?" Hermione asked when the waiter was gone. Pansy made a mental note to ask the other girl in a more private setting later, how exactly she had broken the jinx on Marietta's face. For now, she went along the change of subject.

„We just went to Scrivenhaft. I tried to find some novels written by witches or wizards", Pansy said. She made a swiping gesture with her hand. „Fiction written by magic folk is scarce. In total they had six books in stock including the stories by Beedle the Bard not counting Lockhart's books. Reading the summary of the other five alone was quite off-putting. All are centred on magic, or how magic can go wrong, or they retell magic legends. If you want biographies of famous witches or wizards on the other hand, you can choose between hundreds of titles. I guess, I have to stick with Muggle fiction, if I want to read something more stimulating."

„Yes, the magic community is sometimes a little bit nerdy about magic", Hermione said. Pansy was a tiny bit frustrated about that. The Muggle literature provided her with a lot of different perspectives on important topics like the social structures, or traditions, or love, or the fight between good and evil. But they are set in a Muggle environment and she had constantly transfer everything to the magic community. She did not always understand the Muggle way of live although Hermione tried to explain everything to her.

Pansy took a sip from her butter beer.

„You can write yourself the stories you want to read", Luna said, looking absentmindedly out of the window.

Pansy chocked on her beverage. Hermione patted her on the back.

„What?" she asked after she regained her breath.

„Oh. It is just a thought", Luna said.

Pansy pondered. Sometimes she wondered, if she had read more stories, she would have been able to look at her own behaviour in a more critical way and would have started to question her parents' way of live earlier. Maybe the magic community needed more stories in the Muggle style but set in the magic community. That was something to put on her list of possible job perspectives.

Hermione squealed and reached for her bag.

„Speaking of writing, I have something for you, Pansy", she said and dived into her bag. Hermione produced a little parcel in the form of a dice wrapped in colourful paper and a bar of her favourite chocolate. Pansy could not believe her eyes. Hermione had remembered her birthday. Pansy should not be surprised. The other girl had asked her about it, after all. Pansy had been unsure how to bring up her birthday again since Hermione had asked about it. Their friendship was still so fresh.

„Happy birthday", Hermione said. She embraced Pansy and gave her the lithe parcel. Exited Pansy started to unwrap it. A few moments later she held an ink well in her hand labelled _Coloris de Pensée_. The ink changed colours from a dark yellow to a deep red and to various shades of blue, lilac, lavender, and purple. Sometimes it was green and even white.

„Well, as you are one for play on words, I've thought, this ink will suit you", Hermione said and gave Pansy that small smile that she loved so much.

„How so?" Pansy asked smiling. Hermione had obviously put some effort into the search of a present for her.

„Pensée is French for Pansy. The ink changes in all the colours of the different types of these flowers. You just have to name the hue of your choice before you start writing. Pensée also means thought or thinking", Hermione explained. „I thought, that you can use this ink to write down your thoughts in your diary." Hermione winked at Pansy. Than she laughed. „In the language of flowers, a lover often left a pansy and a honey bush blossom in their partners bed to say: 'I think of our forbidden love.' The partner was often married. Though I think, it was a male lover who left this kind of encoded message."

„Why?" Pansy asked. Her heard raced a bit, when Hermione spoke of love and lovers. Was there a trace of flirting in her explanation?

„Have you ever seen a honey bush?" the other girl replied.

Pansy understood and had to grin. Of course she had seen a honey bush. There had been quite a lot of them in the gardens of Parkinson Park. Pansy thanked Hermione with a long embrace.

A flash caused them to separate. Pansy and Hermione looked in surprise at Luna. The blond girl just lowered a camera for magical photographs. With an airy smile she handed Pansy a parcel the size of a larger tome.

„I have to admit, that the incident with Dennis Creevey gave me the idea for my present", Luna said and tipped on the parcel. She unwrapped the parcel. It turned out to be an empty photo album. Pansy remembered very well, how she had approached the head girl at the beginning of the school year to give her back the photograph of Hermione with an empty picture frame. She looked questioning up at Luna.

„We will fill the first pages with photographs of us so you can past them in around Christmas", Luna explained waving the camera. „I think, you need to start a new family album."

Pansy had to agree with Luna.

Ginny was next to give her a present. This surprised Pansy the most. She was the last to join their little circle.

„OK, I'm sorry for this plain present compared to the other ones. To my defence, I only learned yesterday that today is your birthday and I had to think quick", Ginny said. She handed Pansy an envelope that had the logo of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes printed on. It contained a gift certificate from the shop. Ginny grinned slightly embarrassed.

„I think you will find that my brother has actually some quite useful stuff in his range of products, especially when it comes to writing. There are some quills for example that go quite nicely with the ink", Ginny said.

Pansy thank all three of her friends again. She was at the verge of tears. She had found such great friends since the beginning of the school in places where she had never expected it.

#

After the exchange of gifts, the four girls started to talk about all kinds of topics. Eventually their conversation strayed to some pure blood families' attitude towards same sex love. Hermione was not sure if Ginny knew that Pansy was gay or if Pansy was OK with Ginny knowing it. Hermione had not revealed every detail to Harry, Ron, and Ginny. She had told them what they needed to know about the other girl to see her in a different light. It was Pansy's story to tell. In the end it was no problem at all for either of the girls.

„In the Prophet was an interview with an older off-spring of the Zabini family, some cousin of Blaise, I guess. He lives openly gay with his partner. They fled to France when Voldemort gained power and returned only yesterday to their old home somewhere in Yorkshire", Ginny said. „And here is a little fun fact: This is Lavender Brown's first published interview for the Prophet. It is quite well written. It is still gossip but well written."

Ginny raised her eyebrows. Hermione grinned. Then she remembered something that was hidden in the back of her mind for quite some time now.

„Pansy, didn't Lestrange call you queer during the battle? Did that wicked woman learn about your sexuality? How did she knew that?" Hermione asked. „Did she use Legilimency?"

Pansy swallowed hard.

„At some point I cracked when she tortured me after I refused to marry Draco. I had lost every hope that she would let me survive. So I screamed at her that she would never get her hands on the girl I love and that this girl would see to her master's and her own downfall", Pansy said.

„So instead of killing you, she let you live and put that graffiti on your chest because she thought that would make you unattractive to anyone", Hermione said.

„And she succeeded." Pansy said.

„No, she didn't. Not to anyone who is really worth your affections. You are a beautiful person. Nothing what that women has done to you can change that", Hermione said. She saw how Pansy blushed at her words and feared that she might have said to much. So Hermione ploughed on just to cover it up. „Lestrange only thought in terms of status and superficial values. She did not understand love. Not really."

Pansy smiled sadly at her. Luna laid a hand on Pansy's arm.

„Is it a coincidence that you and Hermione have kind of matching scars?" Luna asked. Pansy blushed even more and fiddled with her glass. She could not look at Hermione.

„Does anyone else want another round? I'll go to the bar and get more butter beer", she said. Hermione and Luna agreed. Ginny showed her glass to indicate that she still had something to drink. Pansy stood up from the table. After an awkward bump into a by standing pub guest she walked over to the spot at the bar where Madame Rosmerta stood.

„I always forget that she is not used to so much frankness. I'm sorry to have made her feel uncomfortable", Luna said when Pansy was out of earshot.

„What do you mean with matching scars anyway? Why would Lestrange do such a thing?" Hermione asked.

„Isn't it obvious?" Luna replied.

„No", Hermione answered.

Luna sighed. Ginny grinned.

„Please, Hermione. Pansy almost spelled it out just now", Ginny said. „Everyone with eyes can see with whom she is in love with."

Hermione frowned.

„Seriously, Hermione. Who do you thing is the girl that Pansy is in love with?" Luna asked. Hermione squirmed. She did not want to admit that she hoped she was Pansy's secret love.

„I don't know. I figured she is in love with Ginny", Hermione answered.

„Why me?" Ginny said, smiling amused.

„Pansy once said that her crush would never forget her little stunt in the Great Hall just before the battle. You are Harry's girlfriend. You are the most likely person who will never forget what she had done. You fit that description perfectly", Hermione said.

Luna and Ginny exchanged a look.

„You can think of no other girl? His best female friend since they were eleven years old, perhaps? Don't forget that Pansy had said that her love is Muggleborn", Luna said.

Hermione still looked blankly at her friends. She did want to give away how relieved and hopeful she felt. She wanted some alone time to think about everything.

„Hermione! Between you, Harry, and Ron, you are the one who actually has emotional intelligence. But sometimes even you have some blind spots. Especially when someone finds you attractive or like-likes you", Luna said.

Hermione starred at Luna for a moment, than craned her neck around to watch Pansy as she paid for the drinks and gathered together the three bottles of butter beer. Pansy made her way back to the table through the mass of the other guests. When Pansy looked up, her eye's met Hermione's. The other girl held her gaze the rest of the way back to her. Hermione knew, it was time to make some plans.

###

Hermione and Pansy were heading to the senior year common room after dinner. It was just the two of them. Luna had to do her head girl duties. Ginny had found Harry to spend some quality time with her boyfriend. Hermione wondered briefly how Neville had solved his situation with Ron. She had not seen the two boys neither in Hogsmeade nor at dinner.

On the table with the cookies they found small wooden sticks with a sharp end together with marshmallows. The two girls decided to have a little extra desert and made themselves comfortable with some cushions in font of the fireplace. Hermione asked herself briefly why she had never seen the marshmallows before. It was probably a special treat for the Halloween weekend.

They put the first of the white sweets on their sticks and watched as they melted inside and formed a little caramel cover. Pansy was quieter than usual. Hermione waited for her to break the silence.

„I wanted to ask you two questions the whole day", Pansy said. She took her marshmallow away from the glowing embers to let it cool down a bit.

„Alright", Hermione answered.

„I'm still thinking about your little encounter with Marietta", Pansy answered.

Hermione expected Pansy to have some questions about that. She had basically broken a miniature curse. It had been quite easy. The magic involved had not been too complicated and it had been a jinx of her own design more or less.

„So you erased the letters on Marietta's face by writing them backwards into the air with your wand. Essentially you have reversed the motions that you made when you cast the jinx", Pansy said.

Hermione swallowed hard when she thought about the implications that had for breaking the curse nested in the scar on Pansy's chest. She leaned a bit closer to Pansy. Hermione inspected her own marshmallow. It had a nice dark brown coat. She decided to let it cool down.

„Yes. But I guess, Fleur has to do a lot more than that to help you. For the jinx I simply wrote the word with ink on a parchment and spoke an incantation. I did not have to got into the Restricted Section to find the basic principles for the jinx. What Lestrange did was a lot worse when she cursed you. I'm afraid, Fleur has to match that somehow", Hermione said. She felt Pansy trembling slightly beside her.

„I thought as much", the other girl said quietly.

„You know that you don't have to go through that alone", Hermione said.

Pansy nodded and leaned a bit closer to Hermione as well. They ate their marshmallows in silence and prepared new ones. Hermione watched the yellow, orange, and red hue change on the charcoaled wood pieces.

„You said, you had two questions?" Hermione asked. She hoped that the second one was on a happier subject.

Pansy seemed to be startled by her voice for a moment. The other girl cleared her throat.

„Yes, I do", she answered. „Is there any way to learn how to tell stories?"

Pansy turned her head sideways and looked at her. Hermione giggled. She was relieved. This was indeed a lighter topic to talk about.

"Of course. There are courses and books filled with tutorials on creative writing and writing fiction, novels, plays, or scripts", she said.

Pansy looked confused at her.

"Plays or scripts?"

"You know, Muggles often play out stories for each other. Not only in theatres but also in movies. Movies are a little bit like magic photographs. But they follow the plot of a story and they have sound. You need a television to watch them or you have to go to a cinema. That are special theatres for movies", Hermione explained.

Pansy's eyes sparkled with excitement. She looked like a small child under a Christmas tree.

„Can we go to a movie sometime?" she asked.

Hermione grinned. Pansy raised her eyebrows.

„What?"

Hermione nudged her with her shoulder.

„Be careful. In the Muggle world going to a movie could be considered as a date", Hermione said smiling. Pansy's marshmallow spit fell to the floor. The look of excitement was replaced by nervousness. Pansy swallowed hard.

„Well, would you…. I mean, would it be such a strange idea … togoonadatewithme? … That we… Ah…", Pansy started. With a huff she stopped stammering and looked down on her hands. Hermione was immediately sorry to have made such a flippant remark about dating. She had not planned to tease the other girl. Only the thought of dating Pansy had been floating in Hermione's head ever since Neville's attempt to ask her out. Pansy blushed. Never had this girl blushed so deeply. Hermione inhaled and held her breath. This was it. Pansy had actually asked her in the most romantic way Hermione could imagine. This stammering showed how much it mattered to Pansy. She did not take her acceptance for granted. Indeed she looked almost terrified to be rejected. Somehow Pansy had found it in her to ask anyway.

„I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget that I mentioned it", Pansy said.

No. Hermione did not want to forget it. Pansy turned to gather her things without looking up. Her hands trembled. Hermione thought that this might be a great moment to show some kind of reaction to the other girl. Screw planning! She leaned forward, put her hand on Pansy's cheek and brought her face closer to hers. Pansy jumped slightly and froze.

„What are you doing?" she asked. Her breath became heavy. Hermione could see Pansy's pulse point bobbing. Heat radiated from her cheek.

„I don't run screaming", Hermione replied. She brushed her lips against Pansy's. Pansy's eyes widened in surprise. Hermione felt her own nervousness creeping through her stomach. She pulled back a little.

"I hope, this is OK? It will be a while before we get the chance to go to a cinema."

#

Pansy nodded, smiled timidly, and leaned in for another cautious kiss. This was her chance to kiss Hermione. She had to make it count. Pansy tried to communicate all the tender feelings she had for the other girl and hoped that she understood. Hermione answered in kind. The kiss deepened. Both of them became bolder with every moment that passed. Hermione let the hand on Pansy's cheek roam to her neck and pulled her closer. Pansy laid her hand on Hermione's waist and tried to bring their bodies together.

The door of common room opened suddenly. Hermione and Pansy separated quickly. Pansy almost toppled over. Slughorn peered over the back of the sofa down at the two girls.

"Ah. Miss Parkinson. Miss Granger. It is 9.00 p.m. Curfew. You have to return to your houses", Professor Slughorn said. "I'm glad to see that some of the older students have also come around and cultivate inter house relationships. I'm pleased to see that these students are from Gryffindor and Slytherin. But I've expected nothing less of you, Miss Granger."

Pansy had to chuckle. Now Slughorn was making a Weasley. She and Hermione shyly grinned at each other. Hermione squeezed Pansy's hand before they stood up and followed the professor out of the common room.

Slughorn insisted on accompanying Pansy down to the dungeons. She had no chance to say properly good-night to Hermione. The other girl simply brushed her fingers over Pansy's hand and gave her that small smile before they had to go separate ways.

###

Hermione walked back to Gryffindor Tower with a little spring in her step. Her head was spinning. She had kissed Pansy. Pansy had kissed her back. She felt loved and appreciate through the simple act of kissing. Neither Victor or Ron had made her feel that way. There was more. The second kiss had struck like a lightning bold into her core. Hermione had never imagined that a simple kiss could leave her so aroused. Hermione did not see herself as very passionate. Pansy had proved her wrong. No other kiss ever had this effect on her.

Hermione crossed the common room and went directly up to her dorm to bask in this feeling a little bit longer. Luckily for her, neither the boys nor Ginny were there to stop her. Maybe Ginny spent more time with Harry somewhere in the castle.

Hermione entered her dorm and was greeted by the sight of Ginny leaning against the head board of her bed.

"So?" Ginny asked with a smirk.

"So?" Hermione asked back. She knew that grin on Ginny's face. Her red-headed friend was up to something.

"You and Pansy. Spill! What is happening there? You were surprised when Luna and I told you that she was into you. But that did not seem to stop you to spend more time with her alone. So it must have been a pleasant surprise. And now you have this gooey eyed look on your face and rosy cheeks. Do you like her back?" Ginny said.

Apparently, they were about to have some girl talk. Hermione walked over to her own bed and sat down. It was probably best that they were having this conversation sooner rather than later.

"Would you mind?" Hermione asked.

"Would I mind what?" Ginny replied.

"That I like a girl."

Ginny laughed.

"I don't mind at all that she is a girl. Under different circumstances, I would be jealous that you have chosen another girl over me." Hermione laughed at that. "As it is, I'm very happy with Harry."

Ginny winked at Hermione. Hermione reached for a pillow and threw it at Ginny. It hit her in the face. Ginny through the pillow back at Hermione and grinned.

"Does it bother you that the girl is a Slytherin? That she is Pansy Parkinson?" Hermione asked.

"At the beginning of the school year I might have said that I don't trust her. Since than I've had the chance to get to know her. I like her. Now I say: She is a good person who has to solve some issues. Pansy is lucky to have you as a friend. Still, please promise me that you will take care of yourself. I don't want you to get hurt", Ginny said.

Hermione hugged the pillow.

"I will take care. Thank you", she said. Hermione was glad that the red-headed girl was on her side. Now she had only to worry about the boys. As if reading her mind, Ginny looked at her.

"You know that Ron will have a hard time to deal with this. Think of all the things he can brood about. That you got someone new. That you got someone new before him. That it is a girl. That the girl is hot. And that it is Pansy of all Slytherins. Not necessarily in that order."

Hermione nodded with a frown but had to grin a bit. Ginny had managed to see the humour in this possible problem.

Hermione had to think of her kiss with Pansy again. Ginny grinned at her.

"Now, the juicy bits", she said, lowering her voice, taking a bag of pop corn from her night stand. Ginny wriggled her eyebrows. Hermione laughed.

"We talked about going to the cinema someday. I made a joke that this can be considered as a date in the Muggle world. She tried to ask me, if that was such a bad idea with an air of terrible shyness. Not even you can blush that deeply. I could not help but kiss her", Hermione said. Ginny put the pop corn back on her night stand.

"Is that all?" she asked almost disappointed. Hermione through the pillow again.

"Slughorn interrupted us. Curfew for the public common rooms", Hermione said with a shrug. Ginny nodded.

"It is a pity that you two are not in the same house. It will be challenging to find private space for some inter-house romance. Michel Corner and I had some difficulties", Ginny said.

"I'm sure with the help of a Weasley, there is a way", Hermione said.

"Challenge accepted", Ginny said with a glint of determination in her eyes.


	13. Chapter 12 - The next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pansy enjoys the morning after nervousness and bliss. Ron smells lavender everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this one is quite short. More like a teaser. ;) The next one should be coming soon...

After Slughorn had left her in front of Slytherin Dungeon, Pansy rushed through the house common room to her dorm. She was quick and avoided any interaction with her house mates. Pansy wanted to bask in the memories of the day behind the closed curtains of her four poster bed.

It was her best birthday ever! Hermione had kissed her. Twice.

Pansy was sure that she was about to sleep as she had never done before. The image of Hermione so close to her was all she saw in the darkness. Pansy still felt the touch of Hermione's lips and had Hermione's taste on her tongue.

In the next hours, one by one her room mates dropped into the dorm and settled down for the listened to their quite bustling and whispers. The last came in in around midnight. None of them tried to disturb her, not even Castorius. After every other sound had died down, only a snoring and the whisper of deep breathes filled the room.

Totally unexpected Hermione and she had kissed. Like in most crucial moments in the development of there friendship, someone had interrupted them. This time it had been Slughorn. Pansy wished that the two of them had more private time together even if it was only to talk about what just had happened there. Where did they stand now? Slowly an angst tightened her breath. There was a sting. What if Hermione changed her mind over night? Uncalled for doubts started to nag on Pansy. She pressed a hand against her chest. Was it really fear she was feeling or was it the curse that nested above her heart? Pansy scolded herself for doubting the other girl. Hermione would never toy with her feelings like that. Nevertheless, Pansy was kept awake by that creepy feeling. A chill in her body and the sting in her chest lingered.

In the small hours Pansy found some restless sleep. It did not last long. There was no use. At 6 a.m. Pansy fled her bed, showered, changed into some jeans and a black jumper, and grabbed her bag. In there was everything she needed to distract her. The novel she was reading at the moment, her diary, her new ink. Standing up and moving about helped to get rid of the most pressing anxiety. She was far away from being calm. She passed the time in the common room and tried to read. It was still dark outside. No light came through the waters of the lake. Pansy had to lit a lamp. The one page she tried to read did not make any sense at all, even after the fifth attempt. Her thoughts drifted away the whole time. Pansy closed the novel and sight. She looked at the large grandfather clock in the back of the room. Finally it was time for the library to open. Pansy left Slytherin Dungeon and ran upstairs. Organizing her thoughts between books was a better way to sort everything out than tossing fruitlessly in her bed or flipping through the pages of a book.

Sitting in the library, Pansy was to excited to write down a coherent thought. She longed so see Hermione again. Her mind returned to the happier feelings of the the evening before. Eventually the chill lost its grip on her entirely. The sting died down. Instead of making another diary entry, Pansy indulged herself with testing the different colours of the ink to pass the time till breakfast. Thinking of Hermione, Pansy repeated a short line from Pride and Prejudice that stuck in her head since the first time she had read it. ‚Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her.' Pansy remembered a conversation Hermione and she had once. They had tried to name the characters that were the closes match to themselves. Pansy grinned. She definitely was more of a Darcy than a Caroline Bingley, wasn't she?

Pansy loved the ink. The blue, lavender, and lilac hues were perfect for writing. The green was quite suitable for comments, notes, and corrections. The yellow was handy for highlighting. The white puzzled her. The rich dark red was for special occasions.

Pansy checked the time on the grand watch that hung above the library entrance. She could go down. But how should she proceed than? Breakfast was still a meal she had to eat with her house mates, not her class mates. Should she wait for Hermione outside the Great Hall? Was that to clingy? They had not arranged anything for Sunday. Was it customary to arrange stuff like that with one's girlfriend?

Was Hermione her girlfriend? Was Hermione as exited and nervous as she was?

The situation was so new and confusing. Pansy decided to just go down to the Great Hall. She had to play it by ear. She was not hungry. The thought of food made her stomach turn. Maybe some coffee? As if her heart was not beating fast enough. Pansy stood up and braced herself.

A few minutes later she was rooted on the the spot in the entrance to the hall. She covered up her undecidedness with pretending to admire Filch's progress of decorating the Great Hall for the Halloween feast in the evening. On the one side Pansy saw her house table. Never had it looked so uninviting. On the other side of the room was the Gryffindor table. Only very few students had already found their way downstairs on that Sunday morning. Pansy spotted Ginny sitting with her brother and her boyfriend in the middle of the table. Where was Hermione? The other girl was a fair early riser but maybe it was still too early for a Sunday morning. The three Gryffindors had an reason for not sleeping in. They were wearing outfits for Quidditch training.

„Good morning."

Luna's voice came from behind. Startled Pansy turned around and greeted her friend.

„Come on, let's take a seat", Luna said and started to walk in Ginny's direction.

„But this is breakfast time. We have to sit at our house tables", Pansy answered confused. Luna turned and walked backwards. She laughed lightly.

„The house tables are more of a guide line rather than a dogma. When do you think was the last time I ate with the Ravenclaws because I had to rather than I wanted to?" Luna replied. „Come now. Or do you really want to eat alone on this fine morning?"

Luna swirled around again and proceeded. Pansy caught up with her, wondering what the blond girl knew. She was more observant and insightful than she was given credit for. A murmur of voices followed them on their way. Nobody tried to stop them. Pansy grew nervous as they came closer to the little group of Gryffindors. It was the first time for Pansy to spend time alone with Harry and Ron without Hermione being at her side. Ginny waved at them and gave Pansy a wink. Did she know about the kiss? Had Hermione told her? If yes, Ginny seemed to be good natured or even supportive. That was a good sign. Pansy felt relived.

She and Luna sat on either side of the red headed girl facing the two boys, and said their hellos. Ron glared at Pansy until he made a grimace of pain. Ginny grinned. She probably had kicked him under the table. Pansy regarded the food. On the table a breakfast was served that was suitable for a Sunday morning. There were all the components of a British breakfast, different sorts of bread, porridge, muesli, yoghurt, fresh fruit, a selection of jams, pancakes, French toast, several sorts of tea, pumpkin juice, and coffee. Pansy felt a bit sick from the mere sight of the food. She tried to concentrate on the conversation instead. The group started some small talk about the feast that waited for them in the evening and remembered some of the things that happened on every 31 October during their stay at Hogwarts starting with the troll in their first year. Than Luna started to tell them about some fist years that had a fight about an unofficial inter house gobstone tournament. The fight had ended with some bleeding noses. In her mind Pansy tried to phrase a question on Hermione's whereabouts that was not saying in bright red letters: ‚I miss her, I want to be with her, I want to pick up where we left off!' Pansy also tried to fix her gaze on the four persons in front of her rather than staring at the entrance door of the Great hall. She would not hear the last of it from Ginny for the rest of the school year if she was too obviously lovestruck.

Pansy poured herself a cup of coffee when she felt the brush of a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and into those beautiful brown eyes she had longed to see the whole morning. Hermione was also wearing jeans and green woollen jumper. The colour suited her. Pansy liked to see the other girl in her Muggle clothes instead of the colourless school uniform. Hermione took a seat beside her. Much to her joy, Pansy noticed that small smile on the other girl's face and grinned back. Hermione sat a little closer than it was necessary. Pansy did not mind but enjoyed the warmth radiating from her body. Hermione greeted the rest of the breakfast party before she regarded the backed beans and the bacon. Under the table, Hermione reached for Pansy's hand, squeezed it lightly and gave her a sideways grin. Still smiling, Pansy decided that the French Toast looked just mouth-watering and would complement her coffee perfectly.

Ginny, Harry, and Ron discussed McGonagall's latest break with centuries old traditions. Ron managed to eat while talking. It was the headmistress' decision to draw by lot the pairings for the upcoming Quidditch matches. After twohundredandtwentysix years the first match of the Hogwarts Qudditch season was not necessarily Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. The drawing of the lot was part of the feast in the evening. Luna hummed a little tune and let her gaze wandered through the hall. Hermione and Pansy exchanged glances while Ginny threw them knowing looks and a wink. Pansy noticed a few crumbs Hermione had on the edge of her mouth. She died to whip them away with her fingertips, just to have some skin contact, but kept the hands to herself in front of the others.

Harry searched for the butter and reached across Ron's plate. The red-headed boy went pale.

„You smell like lavender. Bloody hell, why do you smell like lavender?" Ron asked in a loud voice. „You have never done before!"

The girls were startled by the sudden outburst. Harry gave him a confused look. Ron's face turned into the shade of maroon he always had, when he was embarrassed.

„Ron?" Hermione said. „Is everything alright?"

She sounded concerned.

„I don't want to talk about it", he said and crossed his arms before his chest.

„Come on, mate", Harry said. „You are acting strange. Relax. It can't be that bad. It is just a smell."

„You are indeed a little bit stressed out lately", Hermione said. A hint of suspicion became evident in her voice. Ron leaned conspiratorial over to her.

„Do you have any idea, how many people smell like lavender?" Ron whispered. Pansy saw that Ginny and Harry were as irritated as she was. Hermione on the other hand tried to suppress a knowing smirk. She did not quite manage that.

„Quite a few, I guess", Ginny said offhandedly. „Why does it matter?"

„What makes you say that?" he asked and looked at his sister exasperated.

„A lot of people use these new bathing products from Aquarius", Ginny replied. „Lavender scented soaps are quite the flavour of the month since the beginning of the term."

„For a good reason. Lavender soothes the Blibbering Humdinger. It works better than the ear rings that I use as a charm", Luna said. „And they make great shampoo, too."

Everyone looked at her in silence for a moment. Hermione cleared her throat.

„Yep. I went for the sea breeze line, though. The lavender scent is quite intense, especially in the shower gel", she said. „It can be a little bit to much in the morning when you are still half asleep."

Pansy leaned a little bit closer to Hermione.

„You use the sea breeze, too? I just love it. It is very refreshing while you are showering but it does not leave such an overpowering aroma over the day", she said.

She and Hermione grinned at each other, maybe a little too broadly. Harry eyed the two girls and frowned. Pansy wandered briefly if Hermione was OK with her friends knowing about them before they even had a chance to talk about what they were to each other. Hermione did not seem to mind her best friend's confusion. She did not shy away from Pansy. Hermione just held her gaze and smiled. If anything, she leaned closer in as well.

Impatiently Ron drummed his fingers on the table.

„Can we please focus on the topic at hand?" he asked and clapped his hand on the table. Everyone turned back to him. He added after he was sure that he had everyone's attention: „Even guys use this stuff?"

Pansy felt how Hermione's body shook with a silent laughter.

„Of course. All products are unisex", Ginny said.

Harry shrugged.

„By the way, I smell like lavender because I used Neville's shower gel this morning. Mine was empty. Have you never noticed the bottles in the bathroom?" he said.

Ron groaned and let his head slump on the table.

„Normal life is so confusing", he said to no-one particular. He housed himself up. „I need some air. Ginny, Harry. See you at the pitch. Girls, see you later."

With that said he almost ran from the Great Hall. Harry rounded on Hermione.

„What was that about?"

Hermione shook her head.

„He will tell you, when he is ready. Don't worry. This is just Ron being Ron", she said. „He will come around."

Pansy wondered what Hermione knew. The other girl looked her in the eyes again and suddenly Pansy could not care less about Ron and his issues. Ginny cleared her throat.

„So, what are you two guys up to on this fine Sunday while every body else is busy with Quidditch or other duties to the school?" she said. „A visit to the Astronomy Tower, or a walk to the lake perhaps?"

Pansy blushed. Hermione raised an eye brow at Ginny.

„They repaired the Room of Requirements", Luna said. Her gaze drifted over to the teachers table.

„Luna!"

Pansy and Hermione shouted in unision. Harry's jaw dropped. Ginny nearly fell of the bench from laughing.

„You two want some privacy, don't you?" Luna said. She stood up. „I have to find my quarrelling first years and show them how to play fair. See you tonight."

The remaining breakfast party waved her good-by.

„Harry and I have to go as well", Ginny said. „If he remembers his manners and closes his mouth before we go."

Harry shut his mouth and nodded. Ginny motioned him to stand up. He simply followed her lead.

They were alone. Finally! Pansy turned around to Hermione.

„Hi", the other girl said smiling.

„Hello!"


	14. Chapter 13 - Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a moment of pure bliss. And bad news.

Hermione and Pansy had a quick breakfast. The murmur at the four house tables rose again when the two former antagonists sat alone at the Gryffindor table and shared a peaceful meal although they were not forced to do so by any of McGonnagal's new rules. The majority of them was still not used to the sight. Newcomers gaped at the two girls. Hermione and Pansy finished their coffees, toasts, and beans wordlessly but with knowing grins on their faces. They stood up, and left the other students to their thoughts.

In the entrance hall Hermione turned to Pansy.

„The idea to go to Astronomy tower is not too bad. It should be deserted at this time of the day", she said.

„Yes, I'd like that", Pansy replied.

Without further ado they climbed the next stair case. On the top of the stairs they got a glimpse of Professor Weasley rushing out of the corridor that lead to the teachers quarters. The professor did not look up to them but hurriedly entered the Great Hall. She was surrounded by an air of worry and determination. Pansy frowned briefly. Hermione slipped her hand in Pansy's. The sight of the blond woman was instantly forgotten. All that mattered in that very moment stood right in front of Pansy.

They took the most direct way to the tower. When they reached their destiny, both ignored the warm beams of the autumn sun, the icy wind, or the lovely view over the lake. Hermione closed the door behind them and cast a locking spell. Pansy raised an eyebrow and grinned. Hermione's complexion became rosy.

„I don't want anyone to barge in when I ask you a very important question", she said. They stood in a distance from each other. Pansy let her bag glide to the floor.

„Do you want to be with me?" Hermione asked in a quite voice. She swallowed but held Pansy's gaze. Were her teeth shattering? Was it that cold up there? Pansy wondered why the other girl suddenly showed some nerves. She had been so happy down in the Great Hall. Than Pansy understood. Hermione had been alone with her thoughts over night, too. She was as exited and as nervous as Pansy was. Just like herself the other girl had flashes of insecurity. Hermione did not need to have them. With a thumping heart Pansy started to walk over to the other girl and came to an hold in front of her.

„Do you really need to ask?" she said softly. „Of course I do. I've wanted to be with you for such a long time. Don't you know that by now?"

Pansy followed with a fingertip Hermione's jawline. She let her hand glide over the other girl's shoulder, along her arm. Hermione nodded and smiled. Cautiously they took each others hands and intertwined their fingers. Slowly they drew nearer. Pansy brushed her lips against Hermione's. After that they let their kisses do the talking.

One kiss said: ‚You have no idea how much you mean to me."

One kiss answered: ‚I care for you, too.'

One kiss said: ‚It feels so good to hold you in my arms.'

One kiss answered: ‚There is no place I would rather want to be right now.'

One kiss said: ‚I want you.'

One kiss answered: ‚What are we waiting for?'

One kiss said: ‚Oh Merlin."

Hermione pulled away. Pansy looked at her in a daze. While they had been kissing their hands had started to search for more contact, too. Pansy cupped with her right hand Hermione's face and pulled her in. Her left hand had cautiously made its way to Hermione's cleavage and lay on top her of heart. Hermione was a little bit bolder. One of her hands had sneaked under Pansy's jumper and wandered about her midriff. Only a tank top prevented direct skin contact. Why in Merlin's name had she put that one on? Oh yes, because of the cold Scotch autumn air. Hermione's other hand was in the back pocket of Pansy's jeans to bring them closer together.

„Is there anywhere we can go?" Hermione asked out of breath. The hand in Pansy's back pocket reached up to her cheek. Hermione tried to hold back dark strands of hair that were blown into Pansy's face. The wind was not to be ignored. It became stronger. They touched their foreheads against each other. Pansy could not believe that Hermione was so shy in one moment and so forward in the next. She let out a laugh.

„Luna is right about the Room of Requirements", Pansy said. „I have already spend there some time to have some privacy."

Pansy hoped she did not misread the situation or presumed too much, but Hermione's grin reassured her. The other girl pecked Pansy on the lips, took her hand, and let her down to the seventh floor in front of the tapestry with the dancing trolls.

Hermione made the request in front of the naked stone wall. The door appeared and the two girls entered a bedroom decorated in light colours. It had a fire place, of course. It was Hermione who conjured the room for them, after all. There had to be one. There was also a love chair just like in the senior years common room. And a queen size bed.

Hermione stood in the middle between the seat and the bed. She looked at Pansy intensely but did not move. On their walk down, the excitement hat mixed with shyness again. Pansy had done this before. And Hermione? The two had not talked about the details of Hermione's relationship with Ron but Pansy assumed that the other girl had not just held hands with her ex-boyfriend. Hermione had experience with someone she had cared about. Pansy had done this with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. It had not even been for sheer lust. It had not meant anything to her. Why was she thinking about that there and than? She was in the Room of Requirements with the person she adored for so long. What was about to happen meant everything to her. She did not want to have either of the boys with them during the experience. Pansy reminded herself to let go of the past for the moment. Hermione was here with her right there, right now.

They had in common that this was their first time with another girl, another woman. Pansy had no idea how to approach a woman. She had often fantasied about it. But now? Pansy put her bag on the chair to buy some time. She was scared. It just showed, how important the other girl was to her. Pansy took a deep breath and walked to Hermione. Like they had done on the top of the tower, they took each others hands and slowly started to kiss again.

Soon their kisses deepened. Pansy had never expected this to happen. It felt surreal in so many ways. But the Hermione who stood in front of her was real. And the tugging at her jumper was real. Hermione pulled it over Pansy's head and cast it away. Pansy stood there surprised in her black tank top. Oh Merlin! The Scar! Her hand flew to her chest to cover it from view. Hermione cupped her face and reached for the hand that tried to hide the offensive writing.

„You are beautiful, Pansy", Hermione said in a quite voice. „You don't have to hide from me."

She kissed Pansy on the mouth. Than her lips trailed slowly down over her neck to the chest. Hermione waited till Pansy withdrew her hand and kissed her right above the heart. She stood straight again. Pansy took off her top tank with one swift motion and reached out to remove Hermione's jumper. The other girl was wearing a bra underneath. Pansy raised to the challenge to open that piece of garment. It was easier to remove one's own bra that freeing someone else from it. It took a bit of fumbling behind Hermione's back but she succeeded. Hermione watched Pansy's struggle with a smirk and let the little obstacle glide from her shoulders to the floor. Pansy took in the sight of a half nude Hermione. She was so beautiful. They came together to kiss again, enjoying the direct skin contact.

Pansy's nervousness vanished and only the excitement remained. She took her time to explore Hermione's back, belly, and breasts with her hands, with her mouth and her skin. The slow pace seemed to suit Hermione as well as she herself set out to discover the landscape of Pansy's body, every valley, every soft swell, every curve. There was so much to learn about each other. Hermione turned out to be ticklish around the ribs. A light touch with fingertips was able to send her in a fit of giggles. Pansy had to be a little bit firmer when her hands and mouth wandered there. Hermione enjoyed very much to be kissed on the ears and neck. Pansy herself had a very sensitive back especially between the shoulder blades. The spot was as responsive to Hermione's attention as her breasts were. Hermione had found it while showering Pansy's shoulders and neck with kisses. She had stepped behind her to continue her journey along the spine.

After a while they simply concentrated on kissing. Hermione walked backwards and took Pansy with her until she bumped against the bed. They looked at each other for a moment before they took off their jeans and the rest of their clothes.

The two girls lay on the bed side by side, let their hands wander and kissed. They were done exploring. This was about being loving to each other. Pansy pressed Hermione into the sheets so that the other girl was more comfortable. Their legs intertwined. Probed on one arm Pansy hovered slightly over Hermione. Her hands slowly circled around Hermione's hips, lower belly, bottom until she finally reached the little triangle of hair, the gateway to her womanhood. Pansy looked at Hermione questionably to see if the other girl was OK with her advances. Hermione cupped her face and kissed her. Pansy tried first the things she liked when she was indulging herself and listened carefully to the reactions of her lover's body. The sounds of joy that Hermione made guided Pansy in her actions. She let her instincts take over and let her fingers roam more freely. Their forehead touched and their gazes locked. Soon the two girls fell into a perfect rhythm with each other.

This was not scary. It was easy. It was the most natural thing to do. Making love to Hermione.

Hermione needed a moment to recover after she came down from her hight. Than she directed her entire attention on Pansy. It was the first time Pansy's body felt really happy.

###

Hermione had fallen into a slumber, lying naked on her stomach in the bed. She was only half covered by the blanket. The light of the flickering fire painted warm patterns on her pale skin. The tan she had brought back from Australia was already gone. Pansy laid on her side and let her fingertips trail over the exposed skin and watched Hermione in her sleep. She was beautiful like this. Hermione gave a sudden loud snore and woke up. Pansy laughed. Hermione rolled on her side and pulled Pansy closer to her body. The blanket slipped away.

„Hey", Pansy said and stroked Hermione's cheek. „How are you?"

„I'm happy", Hermione said. „You?"

„I've never been better", Pansy said.

They shared another kiss.

„And now? What happens now? Do you have any special plans for the rest of the day?" Pansy asked. Hermione kissed a small trail along her collar bone.

„As much as I would like to stay in bed a while longer and even skip the Halloween feast downstairs, I'm getting hungry", she said.

„Can't the room provide some food?"

Pansy tried to remember. During the few times she had spend in the room alone, she had never been hungry.

„Unfortunately not. Even if, I don't think, it would be able to serve Shepard's pie like Kreacher used to do. That really is my favourite. I kind of crave that right now", Hermione said.

„Kreacher? Who is Kreacher?" Pansy asked. It was a name Hermione had never mentioned before. It sounded like the name of an house elfe.

There was a popping sound. An old house elfe with cotton like hair in the ears appeared in front of the bed. He clutched is hands before his eyes, and bowed.

„Miss Hermione has called for Kreacher? What can Kreacher do for Miss Hermione?" the old elfe said. He straitened up without taking his hands away from his face.

„Miss Hermione and her female friend are naked. Kreacher has to cover his eyes", the elfe muttered.

The two girl more or less successfully tried to hide under the covers.

„Kreacher! What are you doing here? I didn't know that you are back at Hogwarts", Hermione said. Her voice was an octave higher than normal. Pansy tried to sink more deeply into the bed.

„Master Harry has ordered Kreacher to work in the school kitchen until he has his own household. Would Miss Hermione and her naked female friend like some lunch in here?"

„Yes. Actually I was praising your Shepard's pie just now. Pumpkin juice would be great", Hermione said, than addressing Pansy. „Or would you like some tea or something else? Or something else to eat?"

Pansy shook her had and looked at Hermione wide eyed. How was she able to stay so calm?

„So Shepard's pie and pumpkin juice for two it is", she said. Pansy could feel Hermione shaking in silent laughter.

„Yes, Miss Hermione. Kreacher will serve your food promptly", the elfe said unabashed.

„Oh, Kreacher. Please give us ten minutes. We will get dressed in the meantime", Hermione said.

The elfe took a bow again, still covering his eyes with his hands. He vanished with a pop.

„Did the founder of S.P.E.W. just order lunch from a house elf?" Pansy said, laughing. The moment the elfe had vanished, she was able to see the humour in the situation as well.

„Yes. It is a special occasion. And thanks for not saying ‚spew'."

Hermione leaned forward to kiss Pansy. Pansy leaned in as well. Hermione hesitated and pulled back.

„No. You get this kiss after we are dressed again. Otherwise Kreacher will not only need to cover up his eyes but also his ears when he comes back."

Pansy grinned and got out of bed to search for her clothes. It took her some time to find her socks. She looked up and saw Hermione watching her. The other girl was quicker to find all her garment and lay lazily on the foot end of the bed. Actually, she was wearing Pansy's jumper and grinned broadly at her. Pansy took Hermione's jumper in her hands and pondered it for a moment. She looked up again.

„Is it too soon to say I love you?" Pansy asked.

And than there was only white hot pain.

###

Pansy woke up. Her body was sore like after the other times that the curse had been triggered. The pain had not yet ceased entirely. She tried to open her eyes but the light in the room was blindingly bright. Pansy shielded her eyes with her hand. Someone bustled beside her bed and called out that she was waking up. Pansy tried a few more times before she was able to keep her eyes open. As expected, she was in the hospital wing. Where else should she be after the pain had kicked in once more.

A few figures stood at her bedside. She could make out Ginny and Professor Weasley, even Professor McGonnagal. There were hurried footsteps. Luna came into view followed by Madam Pomfrey. Pansy frowned. One person was missing.

„Where is Hermione?" Pansy asked.

Everyone shuffled around. They avoided to look at her.

„Where is Hermione?" Pansy asked in a more demanding, more desperate tone.

Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat.

„Miss Granger is not allowed to see you until the curse in your chest is broken."


	15. Chapter 14 - Catching up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione had a lot of research to do and Pansy gets an update on her situation.

 

**Wednesday**

_"Miss Granger is not allowed to see you until the curse in your chest is broken."_

Madame Pomfrey's words rang in Pansy's ears. Her heartbeat, her breath stopped only to pick up in double speed again. Her skin started to burn, a thousand needles ran trough her head. Pansy fought not to be overwhelmed by the cacophony of sensations. Sweat ran down her forehead and her back. She struggled to sit up.

"Why? You can't do that to us. Is that some kind of punishment?" Pansy's voice became louder until she shouted. "You can't just keep us apart, you …"

"Miss Parkinson! This is no way to behave. And please have a little more faith in your girl friend", McGonagall said in a stern voice. The professor's mouth was only a thin line. She appeared taller. Was her bun tighter than usual? Pansy fell instantly silent. Something in the way the older woman had phrased her reprimand made her stop. Than McGonagall's words sank in. Girl friend? Had the headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry really called Hermione Pansy's girl friend? Thank Merlin! It could only mean that Hermione thought of herself as her girl friend. The other girl was not scared away by her declaration of love. And she was open enough about their relationship that even this intimidating woman knew about it.

Where was Hermione? What has happened to her? Was she alright?

With a yelp of pain Pansy fell back into the cushions. She had a cramp in her left side. Madam Pomfrey frowned and took out her wand. She scanned Pansy with a nonverbal spell. Pansy had seen her do that often enough. McGonagall watched the healer. Madame Pomfrey gave a little nod. The headmistress turned to Pansy.

"Your separation is no punishment, Miss Parkinson. Unfortunately it is a necessity to avoid permanent damage to your health until we are able to heal you", the headmistress said. She sounded softer. Why was she even at her bedside? Pansy's interaction with the headmistress had been surprisingly neutral but distant since the beginning of the term. Last year had been difficult. Professor McGonagall had watched her closely while she had been head girl and even closer after she had lost the batch. Now she stood there. The school healer and the professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts were there as well. Was her situation so grave that the headmistress considered it necessary to get personally involved? Professor McGonagall's face was unreadable.

„How is keeping Hermione and me apart helpful in this situation?" Pansy asked. A suspicion was nagging on her. She prayed to Merlin that she was wrong.

„This explanation will take a little longer. Unfortunately I have a meeting with the school governors about budgeting in ten minutes. Professor Weasley and Madame Pomfrey will explain everything to you", McGonagall said. „I will leave you in their care now." The older woman turned and addressed the professor and the healer: „Please keep me posted."

###

**Last Sunday - Halloween Afternoon**

Again. Hermione stood again in the hospital wing and watched Madame Pomfrey fussing over Pansy's tormented body. Fleur was again on her way and for some reason Professor McGonagall as well. The healer asked her to send messages to both women. Hermione's hands were running of the fabric of her jumper. Pansy broke down before she was able to put it on.

Her mind wandered back to what had happened ten minutes before. Only ten minutes? It felt like a different life. One moment Pansy just said the most wonderful thing to her. The next she was breaking down. Again. Hermione jumped from the bed but was not fast enough. Pansy hit the ground before Hermione could reach her. Her body was twitching and her face was covered in sweat. Her complexion turned grey. The scar peaked out of the cleavage of the tank top. It was swollen and blood shot. Instinctively Hermione reached out to touch Pansy. The moment she felt her skin, Hermione was thrown back by a magical shock just like Fleur the last the time. Pure magical energy made cracking noises in her hair. Cautiously Hermione reached out once more. Ten centimetres away from Pansy's arm Hermione felt how dark magical energy built up between them like an electrical current. She withdrew her hand. Hermione did not want to hurt Pansy any further. Her heart was racing. She ran her hands through her hair. The magic discharged and left a coppery smell in the air.

Hermione tried to concentrate. She had to bring the other girl, her girlfriend to the hospital wing somehow. Carrying Pansy was not an option. Hermione was not able touch her. She could not Apparrate with her on the school grounds. But Kreacher could! Hermione called for him. Within seconds he was there and took them to the healer.

Her memory flashed back to the moment before the shock. Is it too soon to say I love you? The words had caught her off guard. Hermione had not expected to hear these three little words from Pansy so soon. Without the interruption, her reaction would probably have been awkward. On the other hand it was not so soon from Pansy's point of view. Pansy had been in love with her way longer. She even had put herself between Hermione and Bellatrix Lestrange for Merlin's sake. They had shared so much in the last couple of month. Still, Pansy felt shy about telling Hermione how she felt. But why? Admittedly, Hermione probably would have waited to say it out loud because that was just the way she was - cautious, needing preparation. She had gone through a war and almost died while waiting for a love to come true and lost that love while waiting. And now? Hermione knew she was in love with Pansy, too. There was no real reason to wait.

Hermione's eyes never left Pansy. Her girl friend had stopped tossing in pain. She lay still and unconscious in her bed, the same bed she had occupied the last time. Madame Pomfrey was just a blur at the edge of her vision.

The doors of the hospital wing flew open. Professor McGonagall and Fleur came rushing in together. The headmistress headed straight for the bed and talked quietly with the healer. Fleur joined Hermione and put an arm around her shoulder.

„Fleur, I don't want to sound rude, but have you figured out how to help her?" she asked the curse breaker. Fleur squeezed her lightly.

„Indeed I have. I've already asked William to search for an object that I need. Still, we need to ask you a few more questions", she said. „I want to be one hundred and fifty percent sure about what I'm going to do. Let's wait for the Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall."

On cue the two woman came over. Madam Pomfrey frowned. The headmistress looked embarrassed.

"Miss Granger, Professor Weasley has told us her theories about the nature or the curse and we need to verify it before we proceed", she said in a matter of fact voice. She exhaled heavily. „We need to know exactly what happened today."

Hermione felt a deep blush raising in her face. This was not happening. She was not forced to tell her favourite teacher about her love life let alone her sex life. No way. She crossed her arms before her chest and looked down. Hermione felt a hand on her arm.

„I know you two are romantically involved." Hermione looked up in shock. McGonagall gave her a quick smile and let her hand fall. „The way you two look at each other barley make it a secret. Nevertheless, it is a private matter. Miss Granger, I'm sorry, but under this circumstances I have to ask: Have you and Miss Parkinson consumed your romantic feelings for each other?" the older woman said in a quiet voice.

Hermione sighed and nodded. There was no way that her embarrassment prevented these women from helping Pansy. Fleur squeezed her again. She looked at the headmistress as if asking her permission. The older woman nodded.

„I assume that today was the first time?" Fleur asked.

Hermione nodded again without looking up.

„Did she break down right afterwards?" Fleur continued.

Hermione took a deep breath and looked up into Fleur's eyes. The blond woman was her friend. She had taken care of her in one of her darkest hours. It was easier to direct her words at her and pretend that they were alone, that this was just friendly girl pal talk.

„No. We spend a little bit more time just lying in bed before we got hungry. Kreacher turned up and offered to bring us some food. While we got dressed, she said that she loved me. The same moment she broke down." Hermione swallowed. „Fleur, there is one more thing. When I tried to touch her, I got the same magical shock as you did last time she was here in the hospital wing."

Fleur nodded.

„I feared that something like that would happen. I tried to find you two this morning to talk to you. Unfortunately I was to late", the blond woman said. „I have come to the conclusion that the curse is triggered when Pansy feels love. At first it seemed that the curse amplified her sad feelings like grief or loneliness. Than I have compared notes with Madame Pomfrey and the headmistress. Both of them had tried to analyse the dark magic nested in her chest. Neither of them experienced the same shock as I did. That gave me the clue that love is the key to the curse."

Hermione was confused. What had Fleur to do with Pansy's feelings for her?

„I don't understand. Why would the curse backfire on you?" Hermione asked.

"It backfired on you, because you and Pansy are in love with each other. It reacted to me because I'm part veela, a being of love that channels ancient magic", Fleur explained.

Hermione starred at her. What had Lestrange done? Had the wicked witch really found a way to manipulate love with dark magic? A chill crawled up Hermione's spine. Her teeth began to chatter. Madame Pomfrey cleared her throat. Hermione looked up. She almost forgot that the two older women were still there.

„In a nutshell we have confirmed that the curse in Miss Parkinson's chest is effected by her feelings for you", Madame Pomfrey said in brisk voice. „It is of the utmost importance that Miss Parkinson is shielded from every source of excitement once she wakes up again. I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that I can't allow you to see her as long as the curse is not broken."

Hermione had to take Fleur's word for what happened next. Apparently she had started to yell at the healer and at Professor McGonagall about gay rights, fairness, and making things worse for Pansy by breaking her heart and keeping her lonely. She probably had said more but Fleur did not tell. Hermione only remembered the feeling of a lioness jumping out of her rib cage roaring in rage.

Somehow Fleur had managed to take her outside the ward. The rage was gone. Hermione was left trembling. From far away she heard how Fleur informed her that she had detention with Professor McGonagall. As if that mattered. The war was supposed to be over. They had fought all their battles. The wicked witch was dead. Still Lestrange managed to mess with them. Hermione almost heard her cackle from the grave with a singsong voice: ‚I cursed Parkinson. I cursed Parkinson.' This was just one defeat, one loss to many. Tears were falling down Hermione's cheeks. She hugged the jumper and sobbed into it. Every attempt to get a grip on herself failed.

Running steps came down the corridor and broomsticks clattered to the floor. Suddenly she found herself engulfed in a wet group hug that smelled of autumn rain mixed with sweat. Harry, Ron, and Ginny were there. One of them mumbled something about Kreacher and that he came to tell them.

###

**Wednesday**

Professor Weasley sat on her bed. Madame Pomfrey busied herself with making notes on a parchment. Luna and Ginny hovered in the background.

"Pansy, the situation is serious. Hermione has told us what happened last Sunday", the professor started her explanation. Pansy raised her eyebrows.

„Last Sunday? What day is today?" she asked.

„It's Wednesday evening. You have been unconscious for three full days", Professor Weasley answered.

Pansy struggled to sit up again. The healer offered her a hand but Pansy only froze and glared at her. After a staring battle and another stab of pain in her left side she had to allow Madame Pomfrey to help her. At the edge of her vision she registered how Ginny stepped behind the healer and further into a dark corner of the ward. Finally Pansy managed to sit upright. Ginny whispered to the tip of her wand and cast a patrons. A silvery horse erupted from the tip of her wand and floated out of the window. Luna sat on the other side of the bed. Madame Pomfrey remained oblivious to the background activity. Professor Weasley tilted her head slightly in the direction of the movement but did not comment.

„Pansy, Lestrange did not give you a loophole with this curse. It reacts to love. It doesn't matter if it is romantic or the relationship to your parents. Love is a complicated emotion. Love can cause you happiness like when Hermione returned your feelings for her and sorrow like when you were grieving for your nanny which was for you like losing a parent. The curse reacts to the whole spectrum of emotions attached to love", Professor Weasley said. „We believe, with your declaration of love to Hermione the curse is triggered fully now." Pansy gasped. „The pain will not go away this time and it will get stronger till the point it is unbearable. Given the nature of the curse, interactions with Hermione - good or bad - are likely to further trigger the effects of the curse and speed up its progress", the professor said.

"No! I want to see her", Pansy said. Images of Hermione came to her mind, when she gave her _Pride and Prejudice_ , when she stood up to Ron and agreed to spend time with her, how they were sitting together in the common room stroking Crookshanks, how Hermione gave her that small smile she had only reserved for Pansy, how she looked at Pansy after their first kiss, her closed eyes when she came the first time they made love. Pansy could not bear to lose all this after she had just found Hermione. Instantly pain jolted through her body. She was thrown back into the cushions.

„You see, it is already happening and she is not even here. Like Miss Granger you will accept this condition", the healer said. „You will keep lying down now, Miss Parkinson."

The pain prevented Pansy from arguing. Ginny came to stand behind Luna.

"Hermione accepted not to see me? That can't be true" she asked in the direction of the two girls. Ginny shook her head.

"Only after a though fight with the headmistress and Madame Pomfrey. It earned her a month of detention with the Professor McGonagall", Ginny said.

Disapproval was evident on Madame Pomfrey's face but she kept silent.

Hermione had contradicted her favourite professor? She was in detention? Hermione did that for her?

"Is she alright? How is she?" Pansy asked Ginny. But it was the professor who answered.

"Hermione has helped me with the research ", she said. „She found someone who was able to give us some insight into Lestrange's way of thinking."

„And who might that be?" Pansy asked. She looked from Professor Weasley to Luna and Ginny.

„Lestrange's sisters. Andromeda Tonks. But that was a dead end, as Andromeda had no contact with her after she married a Muggle born", Ginny said. „And…" She paused and looked at the others. Pansy's eyes widened.

„She hasn't contacted Narcissa Malfoy, has she?"

Pansy tried to wrap her mind about the thought. She knew that Hermione's last encounter with Draco's mother was at Malfoy Manor while Lestrange had tortured her.

„Not quite. She persuaded Draco to do so", Luna said.

###

**Last Tuesday**

Hermione still could not believe that Draco Malfoy had helped her. On Monday she had found him before their Potion class and described him the situation. Hermione had been nervous to approach him and to ask for his help. His face gave no emotion away while he listened but he said yes. He even wrote the letter to his mother during the lesson and rushed to the owlery right afterwards. Draco still seemed to value Pansy. When this is all over, the two needed to sort things out between them.

Hermione had figured that he was the only one who would be able to perused his mother to help. She was right. Hermione did not know what Draco had told her but it had worked. Draco Malfoy's mother sat in Fleur's office on the other side of the desk. Draco had accompanied her.

Hermione was glad that Fleur agreed to let her take part in the meeting. After her nervous break down on Sunday that did not go without saying. But Ginny, Harry, and Ron had picked up the pieces. Luna helped, too, after she learned what happened. Hermione despised her weakness. It had allowed that a dead wicked witch got the upper hand for the briefest of moments. Hermione knew, her love was something worth fighting for. Always. She and Pansy were not alone in this. Right now, Fleur was with her interviewing Lestrange's sister. Madame Malfoy was directing her words at Hermione.

„You want to know how my sister was thinking? You have seen her. Have you never wondered why Bella didn't use Legiliments to get the answer she wanted so desperately? How you got your hands on Gryffindor's sword although it was supposed to be in her vault? She was in dire need for the information and she needed it quick. Her reputation and her life depended on it. With Legiliments she would have extracted the truth within seconds. Bella was quite capable of it and even trained Draco how to do it. Still, she tortured you and the goblin instead", Narcissa Malfoy said.

Hermione shook her head. The movement turned into shudder. It was true, she had never given Lestrange's behaviour a thought. Harry, Ron, and she had other problems to solve on their quest for horcruxes.

It was unsettling to hear Madame Malfoy call Hermione's tormentor by such an endearing name. Than again, the woman who sat so stiffly in front of her and talked so patronizing to her and Fleur had shown a strong sense of family during the battle. She successfully had lied to Lord Voldemort just to find out whether Draco was alive. The same sense of family was the reason Madame Malfoy was talking to them at all. She certainly did not do it out of compassion for her almost daughter-in-law. Malfoy's mother was there because her son had asked her to.

„It was not a question of personal style. Bella was a powerful witch, but not a coolheaded one. Her temper prevented her from using the subtle art of Legiliments in stressful situations. You need to discipline your mind, to control your emotions. She simply was not able to do that when her life depended on it. The same applied to complicated curses. So she prepared this dagger with a handful of curses that she could release with one word while cutting someone."

Fleur opened her notebook and leafed through it. She found the page she was searching for. With a pencil she made a movement that looked like she checked something off.

„Sounds like a magical Swiss Army Knife to me", Hermione said under her breath.

Draco, his mother and even Fleur looked at her confused.

„A what?" Fleur asked.

„Never mind. So the curses in the knife are powerful. How complicated can they be? Have you any idea, what kind of magic she used to prepare the dagger? Did she leave any notes?" Hermione asked.

„If she left any notes, they should be in the Auror department. They raided Malfoy Manor and took everything with them that could be used as dark magic or as evidence to sort out the Death Eaters from the innocent", Madame Malfoy said.

Hermione looked at Fleur exasperate. Her friend shook her head.

„I have contacted the department and asked to review any document that might be helpful", Fleur said. „I was allowed to do so. But there was nothing there."

Hermione internally deflated. She tried to hide her feeling of growing defeat to the outside.

„So you have no idea what she did?" Hermione said.

„I only know that the dagger must be a key element", Madame Malfoy said. „She was very exited when she found it. It is an ancient Egyptian weapon that was used in magical rituals. It can absorb and segregate magic quite easily."

Hermione noticed that Fleur nodded while she made another check beside a note in her notebook. This was a good sign, was it not?

„What did your sister want to achieve with this special curse?" Fleur asked.

Draco paled. Madame Malfoy sighed. A hint of horror ghosted over both faces but only for a moment. Than she had her guards back up.

„Bella wanted to challenge Dumbledore's most cherished believe, that love is the greatest power in the world. So she tried to create curses that would manipulate love", she said. Than she looked directly at Hermione. „Whatever she created, it is not that kind of curse that can be lifted in Cinderella style by a kiss from her true love at midnight at full moon or something like that. It is designed to make anyone suffer when they feel true love."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

„You know Muggle fairy tails?" she asked.

Madame Malfoy clenched her teeth together. Draco took an interest in a dent in the arm rest of his chair. Hermione suppressed a grin. She remembered that Narcissa Malfoy had to do social hours at St. Mungo's. Rumor had it that she took care of Muggle born orphans.

„I believe I have told you everything that I know", she said. With that, she bid her farewell and left Fleur's office together with Draco.

When they were alone Hermione turned to Fleur.

„Did she say anything helpful?" she asked.

The curse breaker nodded.

„She said nothing that gave me the idea that I'm on the wrong track with the way I want to break the curse", Fleur answered. „Let's summarize what we know: Bellatrix Lestrange had no time and no patience to perform a complicated curse when she tortured Pansy. The dagger is a powerful magical device but it works in simple way. She used it as a kind of syringe to inject dark magic into Pansy's scar. The magic therefore needs some kind of container. Narcissa Malfoy confirmed, that Lestrage wanted to mess magically with love. She seems to have succeeded in some way."

Hermione nodded. Fleur leafed through her notes.

„I have looked up some kinds of magic that also effect love and how they work. For example: portions. It is true, there are potent love potions. The most powerful we know is Amortensia. Another kind of magic that effects love is channelled by certain magical creatures. Example: The veela thrall." Fleur gestured at herself when she said that. „And of course there are other kinds of magic, but they all have the same underlying principles, so let's stick with Amortensia and the thrall as examples."

Hermione drummed her fingers on the desk.

„How does that help us with the curse in Pansy's scar?" she asked.

„It helps us to understand the magic that is at work. Both the potion and the thrall cannot influence or even evoke real love. The logic of the magic behind the thrall and the potion is the same. They only can imitate or temper with the symptoms of love but they cannot reach the core of the power of love. The same applies to the curse Lestrange put on Pansy." Fleur put her hand on Hermione's. „The curse has never changed how Pansy feels about you. It never will."

It sounded like good news but it was not. Pansy lay still unconscious the hospital wing and was to suffer badly when she woke up. Hermione told herself to be patient. The mystery has to be analysed step by step.

„So you don't think Lestrange has found a way to penetrate the core of love?"

„No. No ancient magic was able to do that. If Lestrange wanted to manipulate love, she had to find a new way. To meddle with something you must understand it. Do you think that Lestrange understood real love?"

The devotion Lestrange had felt for Voldemort, had that been love? Probably not in its purest form, the form that Dumbledore meant.

„No", Hermione said. Fleur nodded in a agreement.

„So basically the curse is a dark magic that attacks the symptoms of love. It needs some sort of container to strive. There are two ways to approach it: The way the curse is cast and the objective of the curse", Fleur said.

„Maybe the kiss from true love is not so useless after all", Hermione mumbled sarcastically.

„What?"

„Nothing, just remembering a dismissive remark that Narcissa Malfoy made", Hermione said impatiently. She wanted to get to the point.

„Basically, the more reliable approach is to work a the objective of the curse. It is also the more risky approach. The objective of the curse is basically love and its effects. Love is too unpredictable and as established before, only its symptoms can be magically manipulated. If anything goes wrong, we could kill Pansy. We don't want that." Hermione was ready to shake Fleur to come to an end. „Therefore our leverage to break it is the way it was cast. We are dealing with dark magic performed in a crude ritual involving blood. We need to reverse the ritual. There is a chance, that we will not be able to extract all the dark magic lingering in the scar."

###

**Wednesday: Hospital Wing**

Pansy listened carefully to the professor's report of her interview with Madame Malfoy.

„So you know how to do it?" she asked.

„Yes. I'm afraid, you are not going to like it."

The blond woman liked to build up the tension in her stories, didn't she?

„Just tell me", Pansy said, her voice raising.

Professor Weasley gave her a long calculating look.

„We need to reverse the ritual, which means someone has to use a magical dagger to open the cut on your chest and writing the word backwards. It was cast by someone full of hate, so it must be undone by someone full of love. As the magic in you scar reacted to both Hermione and me either of us can do it. The curse needs some kind of home. It was concealed in a weapon, now it sits in your scar. Through the ritual the curse will be extracted from your chest and concealed in the weapon we use to cut open your scar."

Pansy felt sick but also confused. That sounded gruesome but not too complicated once they figured out what needed to be done.

„What are we waiting for?" she asked.

„A dagger. We are waiting for a suitable dagger to perform the ritual. We can't use Lestrage's. It is soaked up with dark magic waiting to be unleashed. Merlin knows what curse we might set free if we use it incorrectly."

„Yes, please. Let's not do that", Pansy said dryly.

„Furthermore, we need one that is free of dark magic so that the curse in your chest can be persuaded to switch homes. Therefore we need a similar ancient Egyptian dagger that is not sated with dark magic. We can use this new dagger to absorb the curse from chest and conceal it in there."

„It is not a bread knife. I guess, you can't just walk into Diagon Alley and buy such a dagger", Pansy said. „How do we get one?"

Fleur looked at Ginny and back to Pansy.

„My husband is in Egypt. He still works as a curse breaker for Gringotts. During his visit home last week, I discussed your case with him and he agreed that we need a second dagger with similar properties to help you. William is tracking one down as we speak", Fleur said. „During the epochs of the Pharaohs these kind of magical devices were often used in funerals as burial object so priests could take their magic into the next life. Unfortunately, tombs containing such objects are heavily secured by wards." Fleur sighed. „Which means, the dagger can be here tomorrow of in a month." She stood up. „I know that is a lot to digest. Ginny and Luna will keep you some company. You should not process this alone."

Fleur and Madame Pomfrey retreated to the healer's office.

Pansy rolled on her side and starred at the neighbouring bed. She could not face the other girls at the moment. She wanted to see just one person. Pansy's skin started to burn as silent sobs shook her.

„Pansy, look", Ginny said quietly.

Pansy turned around to her just to see that the redheaded girl pointed at her bedside drawer. A cloud of magic sparks formed on top of it. They swirled around and took the form of a potted plant. Pansies. They were dark red. The same colour as Baccara-Roses.

Hermione.

#

Hermione lingered in front of the door the hospital wing. After Ginny's patrons gave her the message that Pansy was awake, she had come up here to check how she was doing. One end of an extendible ear stuck in her ear. She held the other end to the heavy wooden door. Hermione had tuned in when Fleur had told Pansy about the interview with Madame Malfoy. She waited for Fleur and Madame Pomfrey to leave the bedside. A minute after Fleur's voice had died down and sound of footsteps vanished into the background, Hermione dared to cast the little spell that Neville had shown her.


	16. Chapter 15 - Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse is taking its toll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a reason why my previous stories are all fluffy femslash. Normally, I'm quite the sissy. I can't see blood without feeling sick - not even in films or described in novels. That's why it was a little bit difficult for me to write this chapter. This is definitely the darkest of them all.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

Hermione sat behind the teacher's table in the transfiguration classroom and massaged her temples. All the students had left the room already. It had been an awful week, an awful Thursday, an awful lesson. As a pupil she was able to let the lessons wash over her, to go through the motions while she was trying to compose a letter to Pansy that communicated her feelings for the other girl without spell out the word love. She feared that the mere mentioning of the word would trigger the curse and would hurt Pansy. Composing such a letter was not an easy task for someone who's area of expertise was academic writing. Still, she had managed to write to Pansy. Ginny promised to smuggle the letter to her girlfriend without letting Madame Pomfrey know. Maybe Ginny had already done it.

Hermione was thankful for her busy schedule on Thursday. It prevented her from lingering in front of the heavy portal to the hospital wing the whole day. However, the last lesson had been her transfiguration tutorial for the first years from Slytherin and Hufflepuff. One particular student had tried her patience by doubting her teaching skills based on her blood status until she lost it. She had shouted at him very unprofessionally and had sent him to the headmistress. Hermione suspected that he had done it on purpose. His last name was Castorius. She would bet her personal library that the boy had an elder sister or cousin called Luisa. There was a confrontation waiting to happen, probably at at dinner in the Great Hall for everyone to see.

Hermione stretched out the minutes before she had to leave the room. Five minutes of peace, peace of her mind was all she wanted. Out there, she would have to endure the stares of all the students. Of course, everybody knew about her relationship with Pansy and that she was banned from the hospital wing. Out there, she herself would stare at Fleur to get any sign that Bill was on his way to Hogwarts with a dagger in his pocket. A dagger that would give Hermione back her love. Out there, she would run directly to the library to do more research on Egyptian burial daggers with magical properties or on relaxing techniques from different cultures so Pansy could learn to discipline her emotions to be able to tame the effects of the curse. Out there, she would feel Pansy's absence burning a hole into her perception. Out there, she would be overwhelmed with helplessness, a feeling she despised. She had helped to vanquish the darkest wizard of their time. Now she was doomed to wait for others to successfully be on a quest for an object to solve a precarious situation.

Where was Bill? What was he doing? Not knowing and waiting was the worst.

There was a knock on the door. Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose, not quite ready to let what was out there into the room. The person outside knocked again.

„Come in", she called.

Luna came into the room. She walked over to Hermione and sat on the desk. Hermione glared at her blond friend for this profanity. Unfazed, Luna dived into her school bag and produced a photograph. She handed it to Hermione.

„I've just developed the film and made some prints. I thought, you might want a copy of this one", the blond girl said and held the photograph out to her. Hermione took it. It was the snap shot Luna took at Pansy's birthday in the Three Broomsticks. The Hermione and the Pansy in the picture frame were hugging. They pulled back a bit without letting the other one go entirely and smiled shyly at each other. Hermione remembered this situation all to well. She had still been a little bit shaken from her encounter with Marietta and out of breath from getting Pansy's birthday present just in time. Above all, Hermione had been unsure how Pansy felt about her. She still had wondered if and how she could woo the other girl. Their first kiss had not yet happened. The two figures in the picture frame hugged again.

„I wanted to give it to Pansy but Madame Pomfrey didn't allow it", Luna said.

Hermione did not look up from the photograph.

„How is Pansy? Have you talked to her?" Hermione asked with a small voice.

„She was asleep. It didn't look like a restful sleep. She was groaning and tossing around a lot, muttering your name", Luna answered. „Have you talked to Fleur today?"

Hermione sagged back into the teacher's chair. She let her gaze wander along the distant wall of the classroom.

„No. I'm afraid, Fleur starts to avoid me. I can't blame her. Who wants to be starred at all the time?" Luna gave a short laugh. Hermione glance quickly at her before starring back at the wall. „Maybe she is also worried for Bill by now", she said with a sigh. „The last time she received an owl from him was on Monday after we talked to Madame Malfoy."

Luna nodded. Silence stretched between them. The blond girl glided from the table and gathered her bag.

„Do you want to come down to the Great Hall with me? You need to eat something", she said.

Hermione tilted her head in head in Luna's direction.

„Go ahead, I'll catch up with you in a few minutes", she said.

Hermione looked back at the photograph. Tiny Hermione got a little bit bolder and stroked Tiny Pansy's cheek. The other girl got hold of the hand and kissed the palm.

Luna walked to the door and opened it. Before she exited, she turned to Hermione.

„Hermione, don't do anything reckless", Luna said. Hermione's head jerked up.

„I don't know what you are talking about."

„Please, Hermione. I saw the tombs you were poring over in the library. Ancient Egyptian burial rituals and where to find the artefacts today." Luna raised her eyebrows at Hermione. „She needs you to be here."

Hermione opened her mouth to argue but Luna stepped outside. Crookshanks slipped between the blond girl's legs into the classroom. Hermione laid the photograph on the desk. She blew air trough her cheeks. People really gave Luna not enough credit. Hermione leaned forward, put her head in her hands, and starred at the image. Her cat jumped on the desk, rubbed himself at her arms. Hermione straightened her back and watched him. Crockshanks looked around and sniffed at the photograph. He gave Hermione a questioning look and padded her hand with his paw. She lifted him into her lab.

„Are you looking for your new friend? For Pansy? Do you miss her, too?" Crookshanks miaowed. „She is in the hospital wing", she said, stroking him. „All alone."

###

Pansy awoke with a start from an uneasy sleep. The feeling of cold fingers on her forehead had made her flinch. Madam Pomfrey's frowning face hovered in front of her. With a sigh of relief and exhaustion, Pansy sank back into her pillow. After the shock ceased away, the pain came flooding back. Her clothes stuck with a cold wetness to her body. Her back felt raw from being down in bed the whole time. She felt dizzy and queasy from suddenly waking up. Compared to the effects of the curse this was nothing. Her skin was on fire. She felt like a red-hot sword ran trough her chest. Thousands of needles attacked her head.

Madame Pomfrey dabbed her forehead with a cold cloth.

„Miss Parkinson, you have developed a fever. Your body is starting to fight against the constant pain", the healer said. „Change your nightwear. Its sweated through."

The healer handed Pansy a black nightdress. The Hogwarts crest was embroidered on the front. Pansy frowned at it. She hated nightdresses.

„Do you have another pajama? I prefer wearing pants and shirts in bed. They don't creep up into the armpits and leave you half naked in bed", she asked and tucked at the sweaty garments she was wearing to get rid of them. The Henley shirt was also black and sported a little pocked embroidered with the crest. Pansy thought longingly about her stripped flannel pants and long sleeves. „Why can't I wear my own clothes?"

Madame Pomfrey shook her head.

„Miss Greengrass tried to bring you some of your pajamas on Monday but ended up with red hands and a large nose, just like Miss Castorius."

Madame Pomfrey said the last bit with a raised eyebrow. Pansy blushed. She had forgotten about the wards around her possessions in the dormitory. They were not meant for Daphne. At least she knew that the protective spells were still working.

The blush threatened to burn holes into her cheeks. Pansy reached for the wet cloth in Madame Pomfrey's hand and pressed it against her face. Than she thought of the last time she had been in the hospital wing. She removed her hands from her face.

„Luna or Ginny could lend me some of their things" Pansy said. She avoided to look the healer into the eyes by putting the nightgown over her head. The woman gave a short humourless laugh.

„So that your friends can try to smuggle in another message from Miss Granger? I don't think so", Madam Pomfrey said.

Without a word the woman had not only banned Hermione from the hospital wing but also had declared a total communication ban. Madam Pomfrey had intersected a letter from Hermione. Ginny had tried to deliver it hidden in a book. The woman also did not allow Pansy to have a copy of the photograph that Luna took of the two on her birthday in Hogsmead. Pansy only knew that because earlier she had overheard in a wakeful moment how Madame Pomfrey reported to the headmistress. The healer was not Pansy's favourite person at the moment. Luckily, Madame Pomfrey did not know where the pansies on her night stand came from.

„I have potion against the fever for you. We have to see if it works. The dark magic in you is resisting anything that helps you to feel better." The healer gestured to a goblet on the bedside drawer. „You need to rest until Mr Weasley is able to present a suitable dagger."

„Have you heard any news?" Pansy asked. „I haven't seen Professor Weasley since I woke up yesterday ."

It was the healers turn to avoid Pansy's eyes.

„You need to rest", she said and handed Pansy the goblet with a stinky content.

Pansy nostrils flared. She drank the potion. Madame Pomfrey took the goblet from her hands, said good night and blew out the candle.

Pansy tossed in her bed. There was no sleeping position that offered her any comfort. Nothing offered her any comfort thanks to the healer. Pansy starred at the ceiling. Her body throbbed and sweat started to seep out of every pore into the fresh nightdress. She waited for the potion to kick in. Her eyes got used to the darkness. She watched the shadows dancing over the walls. Did that one look like a dementor? Was that the outline of Lestrange? Was that a dagger she saw?

Something heavy landed on the foot end of her bed. Pansy sat up only to be thrown back again by a cramp. A surprised miaow came from the foot end.

„Crookshanks?" whispered Pansy.

The heavy lump on her bed rumbled as an answer and proceeded along her body, walking over the covers. Cautiously she raised her head. She saw two gleaming cat eyes. Pansy made some room for him. The cat settled into the crook of her arm. Pansy started to stroke him with her other hand.

„Hello my friend. Did she send you?"

Crookshanks continued to rumbled and pressed himself closer to her.

With Crookshanks' lullaby, Pansy found some rest.

###

„Hermione, I know what you want to ask. The answer is no. I've not heard from William", Fleur said, shaking her head. During her free period on Friday morning, Hermione had waited for the blond woman in front of the Defense against the Dark Arts class room. She growled but bit back a snappy reply when she saw a twitch of Fleur's jaw muscle.

„I'm sorry. I keep forgetting, this must be hard for you, too", Hermione said. „Are you worried for Bill?"

Fleur shook her head. She reopened the door the classroom, and walked back in. She gestured to Hermione to follow her.

„No, not yet. I know, this is hard to understand for someone who has no experience with treasure hunts", Fleur explained as the two walked in the aisle between the desks to her office. Hermione raised an eyebrow. Fleur shrugged. „Let me rephrase that: for someone who has to wait for someone else on a treasure hunt." They went inside Fleur's office. „William's last message was that he had a lead. Therefore, this silence is actually a good sign. It means, he is somewhere hunting down a weapon that hopefully has the properties that we need."

Fleur transfigured her two wooden visitor chairs into more comfortable armchairs and offered Hermione to sit down. Hermione tried to read the facial expressions and the body language of the young woman. Was she really as confident as she said? Did she believe that no message was a good message in this situation? Fleur's features were completely composed. Until she swallowed hard and sat on the edge of her armchair.

„Hermione, there is something we haven't talked about yet", she said, avoiding Hermione's eyes.

„Yes", Hermione said. „Come on, Fleur, what is it?"

Fleur looked up.

„As you know, the ritual to break the curse must be performed by someone who represents love. The magic in Pansy's scar backfired on both of us, so we are both the logical candidates to do it", she said. „Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall will probably skin me alive for giving you the choice but you are of age and Pansy is your partner. This is your decision." Fleur paused. „Are you prepared to perform the ritual or shall I do it?"

„I will do it", Hermione said. There was no doubt in her. She had to do it. She had to be the one.

„Are you sure? It is fine if you don't want to. You have to do something brutal to Pansy. I won't lie. The curse will have defensive mechanisms. Breaking it will be as dangerous for you as it will be for her."

Hermione starred at Fleur.

„I will do it", she repeated. „If there is one thing that I've learned last year about creating powerful magic than it is that the performer is as important as the performance."

Fleur nodded. She leaned forward and took Hermione's hands.

„You look ill. Have you eaten and slept? At least tried to?" Fleur asked. Hermione shook her head. „You will need all your strength for the task that lies ahead. Come on, I will bring you to the kitchen. We will have some lunch together before I go and check on Pansy. Kreacher will be delighted to be able to pamper you."

###

_Pansy lay outstretched on the floor in a distant room somewhere in Parkinson Park. She was drained from being hit several times by the Cruciatus Curse. She had lost count. Pansy felt to weak to even despise her weakness. Her aggressor was known to be able to drive people mad with her torturing skills. The last blow had been the hardest. Pansy was ready to let her mind go entirely. She already had let her guards down. Why had she reviled so much to Lestrange? She may have even endangered her love with this little outbreak of resistance._

The vision of the black haired witch with a wild mane blended over to a blond witch with a tight plait.

„I wanted to check on Miss Parkinson. How is she, Madame Pomfrey?" Professor Weasley asked.

„The pain is growing more intense and the fever is still rising with it." A voice came from beyond Pansy's vision. „Her body tries to fight the pain. A lost cause. The human immune system cannot fight dark magic."

A second person bend over Pansy. The healer. She had a wet cloth in her hand and dabbed it on Pansy's forehead.

_Sweat and spit dripped on her as the wicked witch spat insults into her face. Lestrange sat over her and ripped her shirt open. Pansy's bust was entirely exposed to the woman. She was to weak to fight back, not physically, not magically. Her body would not obey her. Her wand was out of reach._

Madame Pomfrey ran the cloth also over Pansy's neck and over her cleavage.

„She is starting to hallucinate and relives her encounter with Lestrange. The most important thing is to reduce the fever. I have tried all my recipes for potions without success. Horace is brewing one of his secret potions as we speak", Madame Pomfrey said. „As long as we are not able to break the curse, that is only a temporary relief for Miss Parkinson."

_A cool sharpness touched the skin above her heart. The edge of the blade scratched over her sternum, over the rising swell of her breasts, her… Please, please not there. Please. Pansy squeezed her eyes shut. Of course Lestrange did it._

„Fleur, do you have any news from William and his such on the dagger?"

A third voice came from the foot end of Pansy's bed.

_The blade stood on its point on the level where Pansy's right breast started to swell. Lestrange chanted in a foreign tongue. The wicked witch pressed on the dagger. Was this the end? Was this torture finally over?_

Professor Weasley sighed deeply.

„No. I have not heard from him since Monday."

_The skin broke. Cold metal sank into warm flesh. Green, acid like fog seeped into the open wound. The cut glowed green before it sealed itself._

„Today is Friday. That is quite some time. I'm sorry to hear that", the headmistress said.

_The door burst open. Marianne! Where did Marianne come from?_

„Don't be. Not yet. It can be a good sign. While treasure hunting in Egyptian tombs it is often the case that you vanish from the face of the earth just before you are successful and can retrieve the object you are searching for", the professor said. Was there worry in her voice?

_"Avada Kedavra." Lestrange said the killing curse lazily. Marianne fell. Just like that. Lestrange cackled. „Now, let's have a little bit more fun, little queer blood traitor, shall we?" Lestrange's foul breath was in Pansy's face. Her clothes were ripped entirely from her body._

„Murderer!" Pansy screamed. She shot up.

„Miss Parkinson, can you her me? ", the healer said. „You need to lay down."

Pansy starred at the healer wide eyed. No. This was not how it happened. Marianne survived that situation at Parkinson Park. Lestrange had let go of her.

Madame Pomfrey pressed Pansy back into the pillow.

_Pansy lay outstretched on the floor. She was drained from being hit several times by the Cruciatus Curse. She had lost count. The last blow had been the hardest._

„We are running out of time", the healer said.

_Sweat and spit dripped on her as the wicked witch spat insults into her face as she ripped open Pansy's shirt. Her bust was entirely exposed to the wicked witch._

„Miss Parkinson is strong. Stronger that most others but there is only so much she can take."

_A cool sharpness touched the skin above her heart. The edge of the blade scratched everywhere over her exposed bust._

„If she is able to survive this, than there it is likely that she will join Neville Longbottom's parents in St. Mungos", Madame Pomfrey said.

„Poppy, are you sure it is still necessary to keep Miss Parkinson and Miss Granger apart? In this state, Miss Granger could offer Miss Parkinson comfort and an anchor", replied Professor McGonagall.

_The point of the knife broke through her skin. Acid-like fog seeped into the open wound. The cut glowed green before it sealed itself._

„Her condition is highly volatile. I will not risk her life nor her sanity by exposing her to unpredictable excitement. Miss Granger has to stay away as long as the curse is not broken, Minerva. This is not negotiable."

_The door burst open. Hermione! NoNoNoNoNo. Not Hermione._

„All right, Poppy. Your turf, your rules", McGonagall said.

_"Avada Kedavra."_

„NO!"

Crying, Pansy sat up in bed, looked around wide eyed, and fell back into the pillows.

_Pansy lay outstretched on the floor._

Crookshanks hoped on the bed. Madame Pomfrey eyed him suspiciously. He starred back at the healer. She reached out to throw him from the bed. The cat spat at her. Pansy opened her eyes.

„Crookshanks. You are back", Pansy said and closed her eyes again.

„Let him stay, Poppy", the headmistress said.

Madame Pomfrey withdrew her hands. With a victorious swagger in his step, Crookshanks walked over the covers to Pansy's chest and settled down. He started to rumble. Pansy sighed deeply. Her head rolled to the side, her breath found a steady rhythm. One hand dived into ginger fur.

The healer clicked her tongue and turned on her heels.

„This is highly irregular", she muttered on her way to check on the new potion that Slughorn had promised.

###

The next time Pansy woke up, Crookshanks was gone. That was the first information that Pansy was able to process. Only a dust bunny made out of orange cat hair proved that he actually had visited her a second time. Also, the fever was gone. Pansy was able to think straight or at least straighter. Whatever Madame Pomfrey had done during the night to reduce her overheated body temperature had worked. The absence of fever did not stop the sweating. Her night gown was soaked through. The familiar feeling of sore muscles reminded her that she had relived Lestrange's torture a few times in the last hours. She tried to suppress the images of her nightly visions. She did not want to feed the curse any further.

Pansy swung her legs out from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. A feeling of dizziness almost forced her to lay down again. Pansy took a moment to steady herself and to take in her surroundings. She tried to listen to any sound of the healer. There was no bustling about to hear. Only the muffled sound of students outside in the school grounds. Was something special out there? A fresh pajama was waiting for her on her bedside drawer. Pansy decided to go the bathroom on her own and to change her clothes.

She let herself glide from the edge to the ground. A headache stabbed her in the left forehead. That would not stop her. She craved for this little bit of privacy and independence - to be able to change her clothes and wash herself on her own. Slowly she proceeded in the direction of the bathrooms. While crossing a window, Pansy made the mistake to look outside into the sunlight that shone in a low angle directly into the ward. The light almost blinded her and caused her to gag. She felt bile rise in her throat. Pansy hurried onward and reached the first toilet just in time before she had to vomit. Unlike normal sickness, this brought no relief in the aftermath. Pansy washed her mouth with water. She wished she had brought toiletries with her to the bathroom. Did she have any in the hospital wing at all? She leaned her head against the tiles and enjoyed their coolness.

There was a knock on the door and a voice asked:

„Miss Hermione's friend, are you all right in there?"

Who would call her Miss Hermione's friend? A distant memory surfaced.

„Kreacher, is that you?" she called back.

„Yes, Miss. Madame Pomfrey asked me to check on you while she has to attend the first Quidditch match of the season", the elf answered.

Of course. It was Saturday. The first Saturday in November.

„Who is playing?" Pansy asked.

„Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff have been assigned by the lot."

Embarrassed shuffling came from the other side of the door.

„Do you need any help in there, Miss?"

„Yes. Could you please bring me some soap, a towel, a toothbrush and toothpaste?"

Kreacher was back with the things she asked for in a second. While freshening up and brushing her teeth, Pansy wondered if Hermione would forgive that she had taken advantage of a house elf in this situation.

Hermione. Her Hermione.

Pansy felt tears stinging behind her eyes. Images of Lestrange murdering Hermione and Marianne sprang to her mind. A shock ran through her body from her scar. She was thrown back against the wall by impact and glided to the floor. The letters of the word cut into her chest as if freshly inflicted on her. Pansy clenched her teeth and willed herself to stay conscious. She had to do something, anything.

The shock wave ebbed away. Heavily breathing, Pansy hoisted herself to her feet and shuffled out of the bathroom. She was greeted by the sight of the patiently waiting elf.

„Is there anything else I can do for you, Miss Hermione's friend?" he asked.

„Some coffee would be great", she replied automatically. She was not sure if she was able to actually drink it. Just the smell would be nice.

Kreacher bowed.

„Like Professor Weasley. Kreacher must remember to clean the tray from her office later", the elf muttered.

That caught Pansy's attention.

„Isn't Professor Weasley at the Quidditch pitch to watch the match?" she asked.

„No. The professor is in her office. She wants to do some more studying on a dagger", Kreacher said.

A dagger? There was a dagger in the castle? Than it hit Pansy. Of course there was. An idea struck her. The first time that possibility had come up, Pansy had dismissed it like the professor. That had been before she had experienced all the pain and the hallucinations. Pansy had to talk to the curse breaker as soon as possible.

„Kreacher, never mind about the coffee. I will go to bed and try to sleep a bit more. You don't have to wait for me if you have other duties in the castle", she said.

Kreacher was thankful for her suggestions but insisted to bring her to bed before he left her. Pansy felt bad about lying to the elf. She hoped that he would not get into trouble about this. Only, she had to use this opportunity. She waited until she heard the telltale plop and waited a few moments longer before she slipped out of bed again. She prayed to Merlin that the game would last a long time.

Pansy managed to navigate herself to the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom without running into anyone. There were no students, no Filch, no Peeves, no ghosts. She had to pause from time to time to gather her strength. Slowly she reached her destiny and walked through the empty classroom to the small stair case to the office. The door was closed. Pansy listened. There was the sound of steps and the shuffling of paper. Pansy knocked.

„Come in", the professor called. There was a hint of surprise in her voice.

Pansy stumbled inside. The first thing she saw was a dagger floating in a glass case on the desk. It was Lestrange's very dagger. The scar on her chest tingled. The dagger's point aligned itself towards her. Pansy swayed and the point of the dagger followed her movement. Pansy felt angst and doubt rising. Was this really a good idea?

She made a step towards the glass case. Before she reached the desk, she bumped into a stuffy arm chair and stubbed her toe. Pansy cursed under her breath. Since when were these kind of chairs in the office?

The professor yelped and rushed over to Pansy. She helped her to sit down in one of the chairs.

„Pansy! What are you doing here? You should be in bed. Madame Pomfrey will kill me if she finds you here", the blond woman said.

„Please, Professor, I can't stand to feel this pain anymore. I don't want to see the images of Lestrage killing Hermione or Marianne anymore", Pansy pleaded. „You have to break the curse now. Use Lestrange's dagger, if you must. I don't care." Pansy started to sob. The dagger quivered heavily and crashed against the wall of its cage. Pansy jumped up from the chair and sat on the arm rest. A part of her knew she should never let that weapon near her body again. Professor Weasley came to stand behind her and lay a hand on her shoulder.

„Pansy, Hermione is alive and waiting for you. It was just…", she said.

„I know, is was only a figment of my feverish imagination. That doesn't mean that it had not felt real to me", Pansy answered. She felt a crying fit building up inside her.

The professor sighed. She pointed at the glass container.

„We can't use Lestrange's dagger."

„But…"

Professor Weasley shook her head.

„There is no but. Look at its reaction towards you just because you are near. There is too much dark magic stored in it that waits to be released by the slightest trigger. It is a wonder that Lestrange did not curse Hermione in her rage by accident when she carved that other offensive word into her skin." Pansy's deflated and buried her face in her hands. The curse breaker continued: „ I have detected at least six more curses stored in the weapon. All are designed to torture or to kill. Nobody will use this thing on anyone ever again. When you are healed, it will be transferred to the Auror Office at the Ministry of Magic. "

The blond woman squeezed Pansy lightly. Pansy knew that the curse breaker was right. Her idea had been a desperate attempt to find a short cut for breaking the curse. She had to try something, had she not?

„I know you don't like to hear this. We have to wait for William to bring a replacement." 

Pansy looked at Professor Weasley and tried to think about something to say. She stood up. The dagger crashed a second time at the glass wall. Pansy made a step back, stumbling slightly. The professor offered her a hand to stable her. Pansy took it and nodded.

„Come on. I'll bring you upstairs. If you like, I'll stay with you until the match is over so you don't have to be alone."

Professor Weasley went to the door and held it open for Pansy. Pansy crossed her arms in front of her chest. She did not look at the curse breaker but followed her nevertheless.

Pansy walked side by side with the blond woman in the main corridor of the first floor. The professor had wanted to get something from the teachers' room before returning to Pansy's temporary residence. They almost reached the end of the main corridor when the professor dropped something and bend down. Pansy proceeded slowly towards the entrance to the hallway with the moving staircases. Her heartbeat speeded up. Someone with bushy brown hair, a thick outdoor jacked over one arm, was standing with the back to Pansy at the bottom. She was wearing Pansy's black jumper, the one she took from her in the Room of Requirements. Hermione was waiting for the next stair case to come her way. Her shoulders were slightly slumped.

„Granger!" Hermione turned towards the stairs to the entrance hall. She did look in Pansy's direction. „I'm so pleased to find you on your own." Pansy's blood froze. She knew that voice. It was dripping with venom right now. Luisa Castorius! „How dare you humiliate my little brother in front of the whole class." Hermione was drawing her wand. Pansy fumbled fruitlessly for her own. She had left it in the hospital wing. „He was tortured by the mere memory for days." Torture? Castorius was not going to use that curse on her love, was she? „I will make you suffer in kind." Of course she was. Pansy had seen Castorius cast the torturing curse with relish in the Dark Arts classes last year. Pure energy was flowing through her veins. Pansy started to run. No one was going to hurt Hermione.

„Cru…" Pansy through herself in front of Hermione, shielding her from the jet of red light erupting from Castorius' wand. „…cio."

White hot pain engulfed her once more.

#

On the first floor landing, Hermione waited for the staircase to swing her way. She had left the Quidditch game early. The way Hufflepuff and Rawenclaw played, the match would go on for hours. The snitch had circled the pitch sluggishly in full view of every one. Only the two seekers in the game had gone blind. Harry and Ron had convinced her to come along. They thought that Quidditch would take her mind off things if only for an hour or two. Ginny and Luna had shook their heads behind the boys' backs but Hermione gave it a shot. It did not work. She had seen Madame Pomfrey sitting in the stand together with the teachers. Now here she was contemplating the pros and cons of sneaking into the hospital wing while the game was still on. Getting only second hand reports about Pansy was setting her on the edge. Hermione saw the logic behind Madame Pomfrey's decision to keep Hermione away but it made her feel so helpless. Maybe Pansy was asleep and would not even know she was there? Hermione let her hand glide over the fabric of the the jumper she was wearing, Pansy's jumper.

„Granger!"

Hermione spun around and looked down the staircase to the entrance hall. Castorius. Was this the confrontation she had been expecting since Thursday? With menace in her eyes, the Slytherin girl was shouting something about her brother at Hermione. Instinctively Hermione drew her wand. She knew that they would not just shoot sparks at each other. Castorius was on a war path. Hermione prepared herself to block even an unforgivable curse.

Castorius cast the Cruciatus Curse. Before Hermione could open her mouth to defend herself, a solid body knocked her wand hand away. Dark hair whipped into Hermione's face. She ignored the stinging feeling where the strands had hit her. Somebody blocked the jet of red light that was meant for her. Hermione knew that it was Pansy but where did she come from? She was not supposed to be wandering in the castle's corridors. The curse hit Pansy in the chest. In the background three voices shouted: „Incarcerus". Pansy screamed and fell backwards. Hermione cought her. Pansy's body became rigid as green light evaporated from her chest. The light turned into black fume. The fume cleared away without a trace. Pansy went limp in Hermione's embrace. She sank to the floor with her girlfriend in her arms. She cradled her and called Pansy's name several times but the other girl just lay still. Her hands searched for a heart beat. Finally, Hermione found a faint but steady pulse at her neck.

Fleur knelt beside her. Hermione had no capacity to wonder why the blond woman was suddenly also there. The most important thing right now was Pansy.

„Is she alive?" Fleur asked. Hermione nodded. The curse breaker continued: „I need to have a look at her scar."

Hermione nodded again. Fleur opened the top bottoms of the Henley shirt and opened the neckline. The word was still written on the skin. The blood shoot relief had turned into clean white cuts. The scar looked just like Hermione's. Fleur scanned Pansy with a non-verbal spell. She smiled. Hermione watched her friend nervously, holding Pansy closer to herself.

„Is it over? Is the curse broken?" Hermione asked.

„Yes, it is", Fleur answered.

„Why did this work?"

Hermione looked down on Pansy's pale face that rested against her shoulder. She looked peaky and black circles were around her closed eyes.

„Do you remember that I said that one leverage to break a curse is approaching its objective, in this case: love? This incident worded like a bezoar for the poisonous curse in Pansy's chest."

Hermione brushed a stray lock of dark hair out of her girl friend's face. Pansy showed no reaction.

„Yes. But how?" Hermione asked insisting on a concrete answer. She kissed Pansy's eyebrow.

„You know that certain acts have magical power although the person may not be aware of the consequences. Lilly Potter's decision to die for Harry's protection saved Harry from the killing curse, for example."

„So when Pansy willingly suffered for me…", Hermione said.

„Yes. That broke the curse. No made up ritual could have achieved this effect. There are some things you cannot force or provoke."

Bill came into view.

„I assume, you don't need this anymore", he said, waving a dagger just like Lestrange's.

„What are you doing here?" Hermione asked exasperated. „We have waited so desperately to hear from you."

Bill raised his eyebrows at her.

„Apparently I've arrived before my owl did", he said. „Professor McGonagall just picked me up from the gates to the school grounds."

„I hate to interrupt your reunion with Miss Parkinson, Miss Granger", Professor McGonagalls voice came from the stair case, „but we need to bring her back to the hospital wing so Madame Pomfrey is able to examine her. You and I will do that. Profesor Weasley, Mr Weasley, may I ask you to take care of Miss Castorius. The days in which an unforgivable curse is cast within these walls without severe consequences are definitely over. We need to inform the Auror Office."

###

„Renervate!"

The healer's voice rang in her ears. Pansy felt her senses coming back to life. She went into her body and checked if everything was OK. Her muscles were sore. That seemed to be normal. She was exhausted which also became a normal condition for her. Her skin had ceased to burn. She had no stabbing headaches, no letters cut into her chest. It was not too bad. Indeed, she felt better. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at the familiar stone ceiling. She was in the hospital wing again. Pansy turned her head. The headmistress and the healer stood at her bedside. The one she was craving for was still nowhere to be seen. She probed herself on her elbows, eyeing Madam Pomfrey, trying to find her voice.

"Before you ask. Miss Granger is allowed to see you tomorrow morning after breakfast. It seems that the curse is actually broken. Professor Weasley is quite positive about that. I tend to agree. To be sure, I want you to stay here over night to keep an eye on you."

Pansy glared at Madam Pomfrey. Only on the verge of her senses she heard a chair scrapping on the floor. Nobody had moved.

"But if the curse is really gone than there is no need to keep us apart anymore", she said.

Madame Pomfrey raised a hand to silence her. Professor McGonagall looked sideways and tapped her foot.

"This is not negotiable. Miss Granger tried quite forcefully and is now facing another month of detention with the headmistress", the healer said. Pansy searched her brain for anything to say to this unfairness but she simply was not at the top of her game at the moment. Madame Pomfrey held out another goblet with yet another potion out to her and said: „Drink this. It will help you resting."

Pansy faced the headmistress. Professor McGonagall just raised an eyebrow for the emphasis of the healer's decision. There was again scrapping on the floor. The professor's eyes flashed only for a second in the direction of the sound and focused back on Pansy.

"Go to sleep. You will find that you see your girlfriend in no time", she said.

Pansy had learned not to argue with the two women. When she was entirely honest with herself, she was too exhausted for a confrontation right know. Gloomily she took the goblet offered to her by Madam Pomfrey and drank the potion. One night. It was only one night and she could be with Hermione.

The two women left her alone and vanished into Madame Pomfrey's office. Pansy fell back into the cushions of her hospital bed. Slowly she felt drowsy. Still, as impatiently as she was waiting for sleep, it did not come.

The sound of sweeping cloth was barley audible. Pansy tried to focus into the dim light. A cloak was thrown aside and out of thin air there she was. Hermione. Pansy sat up and opened her mouth but Hermione put a finger to her lips. Quietly she said „Muffliato!" in the direction of the healers office at the end of the hospital wing. Than she sat on the bedside.

„To answer you last question: No, it is not too soon to say ‚I love you.'", Hermione said.

Pansy through her arms around Hermione's neck and kissed her.

###

In the healer's office, the door to the ward stood open. Madam Pomfrey did not want to miss any sound of distraction from her patient. At first, they heard Miss Parkinson toss and turn in her bed but soon she calmed down. The two women discussed necessary issues regarding the school and soon turned to more private topics. An hour later still no sound was heard from the patient. Madam Pomfrey became suspicious. She stood up and walked over to Miss Parkinson's bed followed by the headmistress.

„Oh, for crying out loud", she muttered.

The girl slept peacefully. The blanket was tossed aside. Undisturbed by that, Miss Parkinson snored a little bit. She was wrapped around another sleeping person, her head resting on Miss Granger's chest. One hand had found its way under the other girl's long sleeve, laying on her stomach. Miss Granger, on the other hand, had her arms around Miss Parkinson, never intending to let go.

Madam Pomfrey huffed.

„Does Miss Granger want to have detention with you for rest of the year? And what are you going to do with Miss Parkinson?" the healer asked. „How can anyone be so stubborn? It is even worse than attending to Mister Potter or the Weasley twins' victims."

Professor McGonagall smiled slightly.

„At their age, were we any better when we had set our heart on something ? Remember that because of us the painting with ticklish pear in front of the kitchen had to be replaced with a portrait of Nearly Headless Nick. His ghost is still rubbing it in today, now that I'm the headmistress with a personal house elf. Not that it did any good to switch the paintings. We already had forged a strong bond with one of the house elfs", McGonagall said. „And we are talking about our sweet teeth here, not love." With a glance at the two figures in bed she added: „Let them sleep. It will do neither of them any harm."

Madame Pomfrey raised her hands in defeat, turned around and walked back to her office.

McGonagall smiled at the couple in bed. Somehow she had known that her star student and guerilla fighter of the second magical war would find a way to be with her love after this ordeal. Mr Potter's invisibility cloak was such a simple, logical, and elegant solution. The girl just had to watch where she stepped.

Miss Granger's shoes, socks, and a black jumper were carelessly tossed on the visitor's chair. The girl was sleeping in her jeans. Professor McGonagall flicked her wand. The pair of jeans turned into flannel pajama pants with a blue and green tartan pattern. The headmistress took the crumpled blanket, placed it over the two sleeping girls, and left for her own private quarters with a smile on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter, the main story arch comes to an end. As you can see from the chapter count, there will be an epilogue. Stay tuned. :)


	17. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they can spend some quality time together as a couple.

The doors of her wardrobe stood open. On the left side of every shelf, of the rail, of every drawer, Pansy put her jumpers, shirts, cloaks, pants, socks, pajamas, and underwear. In the bathroom, she had done the same thing with her toiletries. Everything was arranged on the left side. Pansy's trunk stood empty in one corner of the master bedroom in Sunny Hill Cottage, the cottage she had inherited from Marianne. Hermione's trunk, however, stood still open and unpacked in the middle of the room. Its owner was downstairs in the kitchen to organize dinner for the two girls. Hermione has said something about trying out delivery services either Muggle or magical. A large number of flyers for both kinds had been piling up behind the front door under the mail slot for months. Nobody had lived in the cottage for over a year and longer. Hermione had took the flyers and looked for the most appetizingly offer. It had been a long day, a Saturday, the first day of the Christmas break. After travelling with the Hogwarts Express to London and proceeding to their destination in South England, both girls were too exhausted to run into the next store and to cook something for dinner.

The planning of the Christmas break had been quite chaotic thanks to certain circumstances, or better: certain a someone. In the end, Pansy had simply wanted to have a look at the cottage and had contacted the Ministry of Magic to get access to the house. Hermione had decided to accompany her. On a table in the living room, Pansy had found a letter from Marianne addressed to her.

_My dearest Pansy,_

_Please make this cottage your home. Rearrange everything as you please and throw away everything that you don't need. I hope you will be as happy here as I always have been. I have to run now. The new regime in hunting down Muggleborns. Nevertheless, I will look out for you the best that I can._

_I love you, my little blossom._

_Yours,_

_Marianne_

Pansy had cried over the note. Hermione comforted her. After a while she pointed out that best the thing to do was to turn the cottage into a home, like Marianne suggested. The two girl lit a fire in every fireplace and cleaned the house from bottom to top. They freed every surface from the dust bunnies that lived there already in second and third generation. They were able to thrive without anyone ever hunting them. Other than that there was little to do. Everything was very tidy and well organized. Marianne seemed to have anticipated the possibility that she would not return. Personal documents and all the clothes she had not taken with her on the run were stored neatly in boxes in a large shed that Hermione called a garage. The only thing Pansy and Hermione had rearranged so far was that they had switched the bed from the master bedroom with the one in the guest bedroom. Somehow the prospect of sleeping in Marianne's old bed did not feel right.

Without effort, Pansy was able to imagine living in Sunny Hill Cottage. It was nothing like Parkinson Park. The cottage was warm and welcoming. It stood in Hampshire near a seaside village with a small magical community. In summer, it must be lovely to be outside in the garden. Originally it was a simple and small Muggle stone cottage surrounded by a nature stone wall. Marianne had turned it into a magical house that was larger on the inside than on the outside with its large kitchen and living room downstairs and with a cosy study, a master bedroom, a guest room, and a bathroom with a huge tub upstairs. Every room was decorated in light and friendly colours. Pansy had never been her before but she discovered traces of her childhood. She found the books that Marianne read to her as a child in the bookshelves of the small study. Pictures of her and Marianne stood on the desk. Much to Hermione's delight, the cottage offered the opportunity to use some Muggle devices that ran on electricity like television or telephone. The electricity was dead at the moment. Pansy had to resister with the respective companies via the Ministry of Magic to take advantage of these features. That was a minor organizational hiccup. The cottage was waiting to be seized by Pansy. She planned to get her personal things she had store at the Three Broomsticks very soon.

The thought of making Sunny Hill Cottage her home brought Pansy back to the unpacked trunk sitting in the middle of the bedroom and the half empty wardrobe. Automatically, she had left space for Hermione's things as if the other girl would move in here as well in the long run. Would Hermione want to do that? Since the breaking of the curse six weeks ago, they had been almost inseparable and had often sneaked out of their dorms at night to share a bed in the Room of Requirements. They were committed to each other, Pansy did not doubt that. They simply had not the talk about the finer details of their future. Maybe the two weeks alone together would give them the opportunity to do so without the interruption of Ron's rants about his dreams of the future.

The girl who was on Pansy's thoughts came into the room and sat on the bed behind her. Hermione embraced Pansy, moved away her hair,and placed a kiss on her earlobe. A shiver ran through Pansy's body.

„Crookshanks has declared the old armchair with the flower pattern by the fireside to be his residence", Hermione said. Pansy laughed. Her cat friend made a clear statement. Hermione kissed her neck before she continued: „I wanted to introduce you to the joy of ordering pizza and pasta but we need a working telephone line to order from a Muggle delivery service." Pansy smiled at how causally Hermione said ‚we' in that context. „Therefore, I made a floo call to the Three Broomsticks and ordered a small selection of their finest dishes, some butter beer, and some wine to celebrate our alone time. The food should be delivered here via the floo network in the next twenty minutes." Pansy craned her neck to kiss Hermione on the cheek. „As we haven't been able to go shopping today, we could visit the local magical pub tomorrow morning for breakfast and afterwards look for a store to by some basics."

„That sounds like a good plan, Mione."

Pansy smiled slightly. Yes, that endearment suited Hermione very well. With a sigh, her girl friend glanced at the open wardrobe and her trunk.

„I should put my things away before our dinner arrives", Hermione said.

She placed a kiss on the nape of Pansy's neck, entangled herself from the other girl, and hopped from the bed. Pansy stretched out on the covers and watched how her girl friend dived into the trunk and sorted her clothes neatly beside her own.

„Have you ever thought about were you will live after school?" Pansy said. She straightened up from her laying position and set cross-legged on the covers. A part of her was scolding herself for being so forward on such a sensitive topic. The original plan was to wait till the end of the Christmas break to address the issue. Nevertheless, she watched herself continuing without being able to stop: „I mean, we've talked about our plans for possible careers and so on. You, for example, are weighing the option of the different subjects and to teach at Hogwarts, or to work as intern for the Ministry of Magic." Hermione put her last pair of socks into one drawer, closed the wardrobe, and leaned against the door. She listened carefully to Pansy. „The beauty of being a witch is that we can live and work in totally different places on the British Islands, thanks to Apparition and the Floo Network." Pansy said all that with one breath and had to pause to get new air into her lungs. Hermione pushed herself from the door and walked over to Pansy. „If Ron has his way, you, Ron, and Harry would live happily ever after in Grimmauld Place and would found a London branch of The Burrow." Hermione laughed a that. She had reached the bed. "Furthermore, I don't know what the plans are for your parent's empty house now that they decided to stay in Australia for the time being." Pansy scratched her nose. „I would not mind if you want to spend as much spare time with me as possible after our graduation. Maybe here…" Pansy made a vague gesture with her hand. "…or anywhere you like."

With a twinge in her stomach she glanced up to Hermione. The other girl took Pansy's face tenderly into both hands and kissed her lightly on the lips.

„My parent's house in London is sold. As much as I love my boys, I don't see myself living with them and replace Molly Weasley in their household. Neither does Ginny, by the way. Ron knows that and has decided to ignore it when he paints his future in the brightest colours." Hermione sat down on the bed. „In the past, I always imagined myself living in a small apartment in London. That was before we got together." Hermione took Pansy's hands into her own. "As for spending as much time as possible with you, I'm open for any suggestion we come up with", she said with a smile. Hermione tilted her head to the left. „As for the where we spend that time: In all that rambling, you basically asked me to consider the possibility to move in here with you after our graduation."

Pansy felt a blush rising hotly. Hermione raised a hand and stroked her cheek.

„Did you?" she asked with a smirk.

„Yes."

Sometimes, Hermione's ability to read her like a book was unsettling for Pansy.

„So my answer is: Yes. I will most definitely think about moving in with you."

Pansy laughed out in relief. Hermione's hand wandered behind her neck to pull Pansy into a kiss. After a moment they separated.

„Come on, love. The food should be here any minute now", Hermione said.

###

The little café of the book store was filled with the sound of muffled conversations and the clutter of cutlery. It was the fourth day of the holidays. Hermione and Pansy were on a trip to Edinburgh. Hermione had hoped that the Scotch city was less overwhelming than London at this time of the year. The girls had made their last Christmas purchases in both the Mugggle part and the magic part of the city. They had just finished their next to last item on their schedule for the day. Pansy wanted to visit a Muggle bookshop to search for new reading material.

They sat at a small table in the story high window on the landing between levels of the store. Hermione ignored the view of castle towering over the city covered with glittering snow in the evening sun. The sight of her girl friend browsing through her purchases with the enthusiasm of a child at … well … Christmas was much more captivating. Pansy bought some more novels - mostly Gaskell, Collins, and Bronte, a little bit of Dickens, and Virginia Woolf - and a few books on creative writing and introductions to literature studies.

Pansy put the book in her hands on the small stag on the table.

„Wouldn't it be great to have something you wrote printed as a book so everybody can read it?" Pansy said with a thoughtful gaze at the bookshelf in the lower level. Than she grinned and winked at Hermione. „Ah, who am I talking to? Your so called detention with McGonagall turned into assisting the headmistress in her pet research project: a study to come to terms with Hogwarts' past under the regime of the Dark Lord." Pansy beamed at Hermione with a proud glint in her eyes. „You are contributing to a work that in the future will sit side by side with _Hogwarts: A History_ on the book shelves in every magical house hold." Hermione squirmed a little bit in her seat. „What was the working title? _Hogwarts: The Dark Year_? Have you already found a way to prolong your detention a little bit longer so you can ?"

Hermione swatted Pansy on the arm with a book but smiled sheepishly. She indeed intended to ask the headmistress to be able to stay at the project until it was finished.

„Don't forget that McGonagall wants to interview you as former head girl under the Carrows", Hermione said. Pansy nodded.

„Apropos dark wizards. Have you heard anything from the Wizengamot? Do we have to testify against Castorius in court?" Pansy asked.

„Not yet. I still hope that the testimonies from Fleur, Bill, and McGonagall will be enough", Hermione said. She shrugged. „Either way, the outcome will be the same. The Unforgivable Curses are still a one way ticket to Askaban. Though, Kingsley is trying to reform the legal system of the magic community. Let's see." She took a sip from her coffee. „What about you and Draco? Any progress at that front?"

Pansy gave a short laugh.

„Well, it is hard to tell. We still need to have an open conversation of what happened in Parkinson Park. There is something that he is not telling me. Nevertheless, we are talking and not only about the weather", Pansy said. In an afterthought she added: „Considering that this is Draco we are talking about, I think it is an progress."

Hermione gave Pansy's hand a squeeze. She glanced at her watch.

„Oh, we need to go. We have to pick up the tickets for A Christmas Carol half an hour before the film will start", Hermione said. „Have I told you that this is one of the eldest cinemas in Scotland still in use?"

###

„Pansy Patricia Parkinson!"

The sound of her full name vibrated through the cottage. That was not good. It was the first time that Hermione did that. According to Ginny it meant that her girl friend was annoyed at something, probably at Pansy's feeble attempts to delay their departure. Currently she was standing in front of the mirror in their bedroom inspecting her outfit: a dark grey button down shirt with the green cotton scarf that Hermione liked so much and black woollen pants. Was that too overdressed to meet the rest of Hermione's magical family at a private Christmas party? Jeans were too casual for the occasion. Why had she agreed to come along? Was she really going through with this?

„Would you please come down here this instant!"

Pansy sighed. There was no way to escape this any more. After a final glance at her reflection, Pansy ran down the steps into the kitchen. In front of the fireplace with the floo connection stood Hermione, tapping her foot. With a coat over her harm and her beaded handbag in her hand, she was ready to go. Pansy started to search for her shoes.

„We are going to miss the eggnog. Molly will never forgive us if we do", Hermione said, glaring at the clock over the kitchen door. Pansy frowned at her.

„Please forgive me, Mione, if I'm nervous. I'm entitled to some amount of panic here. The letter with the note that I'm officially invited to the Christmas party at The Burrow arrived after we returned from Edinburgh on Tuesday. Today is Friday", she said. Pansy selected a pair of shoes and sat down on a chair to put them on. She ripped a shoelace apart in the process and swore under her breath. „How did that happen anyway? I thought that - how did she put that in the howler? - no off-spring of pureblood maniacs should ever darken Mrs Weasley's doorstep. What made her change her mind?"

Hermione put her bag and her coat on the kitchen table and sat on a chair beside Pansy. She took her wand out of her sleeve and repaired the shoelace. This time, Pansy put on her shoes without any accident.

„That is a good question. I can't remember every turn in this roller coaster ride of planning our Christmas break. Part of the problem was that Ron failed to inform his mother that he and I are not a couple anymore. She was happily planning our wedding when Bill visited her early November."

Pansy huffed at that and crossed her arms before her chest.

„Mrs Wealsey already planned your wedding with Ronald?"

Wedding plans that were not communicated to the bridal couple were a sour spot for Pansy. Hermione stood up and held out a hand to Pansy. Pansy followed her girl friend's lead. Hermione snaked her arms around Pansy's waist.

„She had not set a date. Nevertheless, imagine her surprise when Bill told her the tale of how he delivered a dagger too late to the school because the girlfriend of her future daughter in law rescued said daughter in law from the Cruciatus Curse. According to Bill it was the most romantic thing he had ever seen - an assessment of the situation that surprised Molly."

Pansy laughed.

„Do you think it was surprise that caused Mrs Weasley to send that howler?

Hermione put her forehead against Pansy's.

„She is quite intense. We can call ourselves lucky that she didn't deliver it in person." Hermione kissed Pansy's nose. „We will not go into details that I was also not invited at first, that later I declined the invitation that was issued only for me. Lets not forget the confusion Luna's invitation caused to spend Christmas at the Lovegoods who were also invited to The Burrow at the same time" , Hermione said. She leaned forward to give Pansy a lingering kiss on the mouth. „In the end, Harry and Ginny together with Ron declared her that they don't want to celebrate Christmas with out the two of us. They told her the whole story."

„It also helped that Ginny told her mother that I'm a Prewitt from my mother's side. According to Mrs Weasley, I'm the daughter of one of her cousins who fell from grace in the Prewitt clan due to her pureblood fixation", Pansy said groaning. „These family trees will be the death of me."

She buried her face at the nape of Hermione's neck. Hermione rubbed her back with small circles.

„I know it won't be easy. Molly will treat you as the long lost black sheep of the Prewitt flock and will try to feed you."

Pansy straightened up again.

„Yes, and George will call me antler girl", she said.

Hermione nodded.

„Finally, Ron, Charlie, and Bill will try to give you the big brother talk because they consider me as their sister by association", she said. „Don't worry. Harry, Ginny, Luna, and I will always be at your side. And Fleur will be there as well."

„Yes, that is another issue. How will I address my teacher in a private context? Professor Fleur?", Pans said.

Hermione laughed. She started to gather her things. Pansy took one of her coats from the hook beside the door. The met again in front of the fire place.

„Everything will be fine. Always remember that I love you", Hermione said.

Pansy looked Hermione in the eyes. She knew why she was going through with this trouble. Meeting Hermione's magical family and surviving the experience was part of having a committed relationship with her. It was part of her resolution to stand her ground and face everyone in order to have a future in the magic community of Great Britain. Pansy remembered how lost she had felt during the welcoming feast on 1 September. She had come a long way since than. It was worth every trouble. The most beautiful gift for her future was standing right in front her.

„Ready?" Hermione asked.

Pansy nodded. She got a hold of Hermione's hand. With her other hand, Hermione took some floo power, through it into the flames of the fire place, and called:

„The Burrow."

As the flames turned green, Hermione and Pansy stepped into their next adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank to every who read and will read the story and who left and will leave kudos and/or comments. I appreciate every single one. Thank you.


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